Maybe one day we'll stop passing each other

Maybe one day we'll stop passing each other
You see, I'm not so good at relationships
So I will probably seem disinterested
I'm banking on God's Sovereignty.

That way, I can't mess it up
Praying for you...
Trusting in Him...
Waiting on Heaven.

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Ah yes, I'm ramblin' again. I thought of this last night as I was drifting off to sleep. If I ever get married, then the guy is alive right now. However, I'm SO not good at relationships. I've discovered that I immediately go to the default of "so-and-so would never want to hang out with me" (this applies to everyone, not just the opposite sex). Really weird, and I'm not sure where that comes from, but there you have it. And occassionally I will get extra attention from a guy, then later feel as though I should have been more open - dare I say flirty, even. Ridiculousness all around, because a) um, I'm so not flirty and b) who's to say the guy is interested, anyway. But still, I sometimes worry about how I come across.

It is then that I have to remind myself of the Sovereignty of God. I can't mess this up! (well, barring any colossal, awful sin that would mar my witness or hurt the person deeply). So, it's okay if I don't flirt much, or am too quiet. Whoever God has chosen for me will lead that man to me - flaws and all.

Psalm 94:19 (KJV)

In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.

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Check out this post from a blog I randomly found:


Affection for God's Motley Crew.

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The picture above popped up when I google imaged "mess it up."

Quiet Time : jumping through hoops

I've finished Ezekiel, and now am in Daniel.

Let me just share with you a small part of what I learned from the end of Ezekiel. Ezekiel is taken to see the new temple, and shown around by a man (40:3). This is another one of those parts of the Bible that is extremely descriptive about how the temple is designed. Now, through reading the Old Testament, I've had to force myself to read every word (KJV no less) of these descriptions. To not skip any of it. It can be repetitive, but I'm glad I did it. Because in Ezekiel, it kinda came to me. This shows me how God is PARTICULAR (and I'm sure I've read this concept somewhere). His plans for His temple were particular. His plans for His kingdom are particular. And His plans for me are particular. He is perfectly particular. Everything has it's place, it's purpose - it's truly amazing.

Now on to Daniel and "jumping through hoops." King Nebuchadnezzar had a golden idol constructed, and said that if anyone refused to bow to it, they would be killed. But note the instruction:

Daniel 3:4-7 (KJV)

4Then an herald cried aloud, To you it is commanded, O people, nations, and languages,
5That at what time ye hear the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, dulcimer, and all kinds of musick, ye fall down and worship the golden image that Nebuchadnezzar the king hath set up:
6And whoso falleth not down and worshippeth shall the same hour be cast into the midst of a burning fiery furnace.
7Therefore at that time, when all the people heard the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, and all kinds of musick, all the people, the nations, and the languages, fell down and worshipped the golden image that Nebuchadnezzar the king had set up.

These instructions are repeated three times in this chapter. Once to show how it was to be done (any time you hear those instruments!), then to show that people did it, and the third time to describe how a few refused to do it:

Daniel 3:14-18 (KJV)

14Nebuchadnezzar spake and said unto them, Is it true, O Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, do not ye serve my gods, nor worship the golden image which I have set up?
15Now if ye be ready that at what time ye hear the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, and dulcimer, and all kinds of musick, ye fall down and worship the image which I have made; well: but if ye worship not, ye shall be cast the same hour into the midst of a burning fiery furnace; and who is that God that shall deliver you out of my hands?
16Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter.
17If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.
18But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.

Whew! After reading about how the people were to bow to this idol - I thought - does this mean that ANYTIME they heard the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, dulcimer, and ALL KINDS of musick - they were to bow to this 90 foot tall golden statue??? Talk about jumping through hoops to appease a god! But then I thought, isn't this true of all idoltry? That when we worship things other than God, we usually have to go to a lot of trouble to even TRY to gain any pleasure - or any pleasure gained usually leads to trouble. And the sad fact is that it's all folly - which leads to exclusion from God - if one does not repent and believe.

Jonah 2:8

They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy.

So, in conclusion, I want to understand how God is particular with my life - and not waste my time on any false thing - because to do so is, in reality, forsaking the mercy that God so generously gives to me. I pray for the grace to do so.

Quiet Time : new life for dry bones

Ezekiel 36:24-28

24For I will take you from among the heathen, and gather you out of all countries, and will bring you into your own land.

25Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you.

26A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.

27And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.

28And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; and ye shall be my people, and I will be your God.

NEW LIFE

Ezekiel 37:4-10

4Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the LORD.

5Thus saith the Lord GOD unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live:

6And I will lay sinews upon you, and will bring up flesh upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and ye shall live; and ye shall know that I am the LORD.

7So I prophesied as I was commanded: and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the bones came together, bone to his bone.

8And when I beheld, lo, the sinews and the flesh came up upon them, and the skin covered them above: but there was no breath in them.

9Then said he unto me, Prophesy unto the wind, prophesy, son of man, and say to the wind, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe upon these slain, that they may live.

10So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood up upon their feet, an exceeding great army.

Notice how in the previous chapter, God told Ezekiel about what was going to happen, then in this chapter, He showed it to him.

Also, notice how with the "dry bones," the Lord commanded Ezekial* to prophesy. He didn't just make these things happen, He wanted Ezekiel to speak the words for Him.

*Note that God refers to Ezekiel as "son of man."

.:T.R.U.S.T:.

Whoa buddy. The Lord has been teaching-teaching-teaching me the past few months on how to trust Him. It's kind of difficult to explain. I have been feeling this urging to trust Him. Not in a flippant way - not in a head-knowledge way, but a heart-knowledge way. To trust Him with every.single.thing. Every single dadgum emotion that flies around in my mind. My very breath. He wants me to TRUST in Him alone.


I specifically asked for this in my Bible study one night, having to apologize for being vague, because I didn't have any specific situation to speak of. I made it a point to say that I wasn't hiding anything. I asked that they would pray that I would BE STILL and continue to learn from Him.


Well, now I have a real situation. One where I need to trust the Lord completely. I am so very grateful to Him for preparing me for this. I have never felt so loved, comforted, and protected in my entire life. I know I could never explain this adequately, but I do know that it is from the Lord. It moves me to tears of gratitude. I am indeed blessed! :)


And it's interesting, because I know it's preparing me for everything else coming up in my life, too. As I wrote above, God is showing me how to trust Him with every aspect of my life. Lately, He has even been so kind as to give me great examples of what to look for in a future husband (Lord Willing) - in how to see the character of Christ in a man with great clarity, and to long for that, just as I long for that great day when I will finally be with Jesus.


Because I know that in order to be able to trust a husband, I need to be able to trust God.


Father, I thank You and praise You for the work you began in me, and are continuing to do in me, and that You will be faithful to do so until I see Your face. I can't believe You love me so much! I don't deserve any good thing, and yet You give me so much! The best of which is knowledge of You. A right relationship with You. I am overwhelmed.


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Great sermon from Michael Lawrence - Complaints Along the Way - Number 11-12. The third point has helped me when I pray, using Moses as the example.

Quiet Time : "I will be glorified in the midst of thee"

Ezekiel 26:2 (KJV)

Son of man, because that Tyrus hath said against Jerusalem, Aha, she is broken that was the gates of the people: she is turned unto me: I shall be replenished, now she is laid waste:

Punishment/wrath.

Ezekiel 27:26 (KJV)

Thy rowers have brought thee into great waters: the east wind hath broken thee in the midst of the seas.

(random selection here, this is kinda how I feel right now)

Ezekiel 27:36 (KJV)

The merchants among the people shall hiss at thee; thou shalt be a terror, and never shalt be any more.

(see the reason above, Ez. 26:2)

Ezekiel 28 (KJV)

Read the whole chapter. Excellent example of making self a god, and how God handles that.

Ezekiel 28:22 (KJV)

And say, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I am against thee, O Zidon; and I will be glorified in the midst of thee: and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall have executed judgments in her, and shall be sanctified in her.

Note how He will be GLORIFIED.

Ezekiel 28:26 (KJV)

And they (Israel) shall dwell safely therein, and shall build houses, and plant vineyards; yea, they shall dwell with confidence, when I have executed judgments upon all those that despise them round about them; and they shall know that I am the LORD their God.

Note how He says "I am the LORD their God." Above in vs. 22, he says "they shall know that I am the LORD." He belongs only to those who He is for.

Quiet Time : "but the Bible doesn't say anything about..."

Ezekial 16. Feel as though that's all I need to say. E-Z-E-K-I-A-L ONE-SIX.

It's not like Ezekial is the first person/prophet in the Bible to compare Jerusalem to a harlot, but I think it's the shear repetiveness of this theme that makes this so important. Mankind treats God just as if we are an unfaithful wife to a loving husband. He gives us so much, and we treat him like dirt. No, I would go beyond saying that we treat Him like dirt; we are UNFAITHFUL to Him (Ez. 16:32). We delightfully play the prostitute to all kinds of unworthy idols, in such a way that completely and utterly dishonors Him.

Now up there in my title, I alluded to people who think that God doesn't have anything to say about "fill-in-the-blank." For some reason, reading from Ezekial this morning made me think about how people say that God doesn't have any opinion on sexuality. I've heard it said that God made people and made sex, and doesn't give an iota about what we do with our bodies. Do whatever feels good. Don't worry about any consequences. "These people" don't know the same God that I do. I know a completely good and a completely just God. One who can't be in the presence of any unpure thing. That is where His wrath comes in. That is why we need Jesus.

And yet God remains faithful. None of us deserves this:

Ezekial 16:60-63 (KJV)

60Nevertheless I will remember my covenant with thee in the days of thy youth, and I will establish unto thee an everlasting covenant.
61Then thou shalt remember thy ways, and be ashamed, when thou shalt receive thy sisters, thine elder and thy younger: and I will give them unto thee for daughters, but not by thy covenant.
62And I will establish my covenant with thee; and thou shalt know that I am the LORD:
63That thou mayest remember, and be confounded, and never open thy mouth any more because of thy shame, when I am pacified toward thee for all that thou hast done, saith the Lord GOD.

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Read Be Careful Lest the Light in You Be Darkness, by John Piper.

"Christ is the glory we were made to see. His light alone will fill us and give the light of life and meaning to every part of our lives. And when that happens, we ourselves will shine and give off the rays of Christ. “If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, it will be wholly bright, as when a lamp with its rays gives you light.” "

"she can laugh at the days to come"

Once again, after praying for a friend, I was convicted of something for myself. After graciously asking how she can be praying for me, I asked her the same. She asked that I pray that she will trust in the Lord, and not be anxious about the (near) future. So, as I was praying for her last night, I asked God to help her be a woman who can laugh at the days to come:

Proverbs 31:25 (NIV)

She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

I then followed that up by asking that the days ahead have no mastery over her. That those as-of-now empty days (at least, to her they are - not to God!) will be full of promise for her, and not to be anxious about what may come - to not worry that they will in some way disappoint, but to trust in what God is working out for her right now. There are many exciting things happening in her life, but it is definitely a time when she needs to trust God with everything!

But then again, shouldn't we all? All the time? Hence the turning around and praying this for myself! I do not want the future to have any mastery over me. I don't want to worry about what might (or might not) come. I want to rest in the hope that is Jesus Christ, that He is working all things for my good, and to His glory. After that, what more could I ask for?