I should go on more walks

So I'm staying in tonight, yeah I know its Friday, but I've been sick all week (I know, lame, whatever… I don't care). So I went on a much needed trip to CVS. As I was walking along, I noticed a squirrel climbing up a tree with something in its mouth. A really big something. When I got closer, I noticed it was another squirrel! A smaller squirrel. I literally gasped out loud… a hand over mouth gasp. For those of you who don't know, I had a squirrel as a special 'guest' in my house. And by special guest, I mean 'unwanted.' For three weeks it ran rampant, eating half an apple, but only taking one bite out of a banana (that was nice, I guess). For most of this time, I was the only one who saw it. It would actually run at me! So I have an extreme dislike for squirrels. Before, I thought they were kinda cute, running around with their acorns. Well not anymore…


So back to my story, the bigger squirrel was holding a smaller squirrel in its mouth. I thought I heard one of them squeak. Then it dropped the smaller squirrel to the ground. This is when I gasped out loud with my hand over my mouth. It made my stomach turn a little. It didn't move, and the bigger squirrel just stayed on the tree, waiting to go back down. I swear it acted like it was going to come at me (but I could be paranoid about that from past experiences). My first thought was 'are squirrels cannibals?' Because now I just assume any squirrel is up to no good. Then I thought that maybe the smaller squirrel was a baby, and the mom was trying to help it. Oh well, I would check it out on my way home from CVS.


So I'm walking along, and I pass a church, where a homeless man was laying at the front door. He was scratching his butt… under his pants. Now I usually feel sorry for homeless people when I see them, but this made my stomach turn a little. Maybe it was snowballing from the squirrel, who knows. Then I thought, 'is he really worried about what I think?' Some chick walking by, being queasy about him scratching his butt, is the least of his worries.


I make it to CVS, where there is another homeless guy- selling this newspaper that is written by homeless people (can't remember the name of it). He was very loudly and almost flamboyantly trying to sell it. He had a whole spiel. He said you could read poetry! Written by homeless people! You could help out the working homeless man! The one's that don't panhandle! For at least $1 you could enjoy this newspaper! He almost had me talked into it, but… not so much. He was gone when I left, or I might have gone ahead and bought one on the way out. I could use some good reading material. I just have no idea where that money would go. Besides, if I had any expendable income, I would gladly help out those less fortunate… by giving to organizations, not someone out on the street. But sadly, I do not.


So I was walking along, and I started thinking about an article I read on people.com (yes, I'm addicted, sue me). It was about how all of these Hollywood "It" girls are basically anorexic. I started thinking that these girls are who little girls look up to--- especially with fashion. I like how they dress- sometimes cute, sometimes classy, sometimes ridiculous. It's always fun to see what they wear (but I love clothes, so that's part of it). I started thinking about who I looked up to as 'fashion icons' when I was 8 (FYI: this article said girls that age are developing eating disorders). You know who I looked up to then for fashion? Madonna! Tiffany! Debbie Gibson! YIKES! But I would dress just as close to them as my parents would let me. I remember talking to my Mom probably 10-15 years ago about how fashion is cyclical, that things always come back in style—but that the 80's would NEVER come back, because the clothes were so awful. Well, it's back now, and kinda cute, I might add!


I also thanked the Lord that they weren't skinny stick girls, or I may have wanted to be, too. When I was 12 years old I was 5'3" and weighed 105 lbs. I was taller than all but one boy in my class! I remember one of the boys in my class (he was a tiny little thing) would always call me fat, but I would just ignore him. It never ever bothered me. I just hope if I ever have a little girl, she won't have to even think about the things little girls face these days.


So I'm still walking home. I get to the point where the squirrel fell from the tree. I don't see it there anymore. Then I glance down, and it was right next to my foot… dead It had moved about 3 feet. I gasped again. My ear even popped a little (weird). I would like to think the momma squirrel had tried to help the baby squirrel again, but it was too late. That maybe squirrels aren't evil after all. Anyway, I could not wait to get home.


Yeah, I should take more walks. You just never know what's going to happen, or what in the world will pop into my mind.

Have a little faith

There is something to be said about taking that leap. Taking action without knowing the consequences, about making life better for yourself. I've often thought about my decision to go to grad school. I wasn't happy with the job I had in Little Rock, I was applying for jobs like crazy. I got an interview at a museum, and I swear it was my dream job. Well, I didn't get it. So I started researching on how I could make myself employable in a museum. I found that there are masters in museum studies programs, took the GRE, and applied to Baylor University. While going through those processes, I got another job. I actually enjoyed this job, but it was in sales, it was commission only, and just not something I could do long term. I told myself that if I got into Baylor, than it was a sign, and I would go without thinking twice. I remember the day they called to tell me I was in… it was like time stopped. I couldn't believe it! 2 months later I had moved to Waco, Texas. Never having stepped foot in that city, I was living there.


So while I was at Baylor, I had to do an internship. I decided to apply to the Smithsonian, only because there was a small chance my Dad might get a job there, so I could live rent free. I asked my professors for references, and decided on 3 different positions to apply. By the time the applications were due, my Dad took a different job, but I felt that I still needed to apply, because my professors had already sent in my references! So I filled out the application, very poorly I might add. I was supposed to write an essay, and I didn't! Just skipped right over that part. So imagine my surprise when I got a call, The Smithsonian Associates wanted to interview me. I really could not believe it! So they interview me, and offered me the internship the next day. OH.MY.GOSH. It was exactly what I was interested in- educational outreach programming.


Without ever even visiting DC, I was going to live there for 10 weeks! I needed to find a place to stay. My friend had lived there before, and suggested I go to washingtoncitypaper.com. I found an ad for a 5 bedroom all-girl group house, and e-mailed my interest. They replied back that I had to do a conference call with them. Another phone interview! The day after the interview, they called to say they picked me, and I was all set.


So I moved to DC, and boy was I nervous! The girls sounded nice, but I had not even met them, and now I was going to live with them. Luckily, I could not have found a better situation. Everyone was really nice, and I was able to keep in touch with most of them after I moved back to Texas.


Fast forward to 1 ½ years later. I had finished my coursework at Baylor, but had no luck finding a job. That meant moving back home, and continuing the search. I got an e-mail last November from Emily, one of my former roommates who still lived in the house. She was inviting me to a house party, at my old house. I casually mention it to my Mom, and she said she would pay for me to go. How great is she! So I went up for the party, and found out a room would probably be open the next May. Well, when I got home, Emily called to say the room would be available in February, and would I be interested. Um, yeah! I couldn't find a museum job, or any job for that matter in Arkansas, so what better place to look for museum work than Washington, DC! 3 months later, I moved back into the house I had lived in during my internship. How amazing is that?


So, if I had never had the courage to go to grad school, I would have never gotten the internship at the Smithsonian, and never moved to DC. If I had never moved to DC before, I wouldn't be here now. Its funny how that all works out. And even though I haven't found a museum job, I have a great job, where I am gaining amazing experience and contacts, and have a great time! I've met a bunch of nice, good people, and there is always something to do. Although I have to admit, I miss my family and friends immensely. It makes me sad that I'm not around to watch my new baby nephew be a baby/toddler. But I feel like I'm in the right place for now. After 6 months here, it's getting easier for me to realize and accept that.


There are times in life when you have to make choices. Some big, some small, some just plain scary. And when you are trying to make up your mind, you can make yourself miserable. But once you make the decision and act on it, it's like a whole new world opens up for you. I have been truly blessed in life so far, and I have figured out that all it takes is having a little faith… of course in God (who I've come to realize answers prayers in the most mysterious ways), but also in yourself.