Rest in peace - dear old friend - you were such a great witness to me; starting from the church nursery and continuing on. I can only imagine what a wonderful homecoming you experienced just a few days ago - as you were finally united with your Heavenly Father. Although your passing has countless others in mourning; I can't help but tearfully rejoice in the great joy you are living in now and will be for eternity.
Psalm 116 (KJV)
1I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.
2Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.
3The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow.
4Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.
5Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.
6The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.
7Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee.
8For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.
9I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living.
10I believed, therefore have I spoken: I was greatly afflicted:
11I said in my haste, All men are liars.
12What shall I render unto the LORD for all his benefits toward me?
13I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the LORD.
14I will pay my vows unto the LORD now in the presence of all his people.
15Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.
16O LORD, truly I am thy servant; I am thy servant, and the son of thine handmaid: thou hast loosed my bonds.
17I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the LORD.
18I will pay my vows unto the LORD now in the presence of all his people.
19In the courts of the LORD's house, in the midst of thee, O Jerusalem. Praise ye the LORD.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Going Home
by Sara Groves
I’ve been feeling kind of restless
I’ve been feeling out of placeI can hear a distant singing
A song that I can’t write
And it echoes of what I’m always trying to say
There’s a feeling I can’t capture
It’s always just a prayer away
I want to know the ending
Things hoped for but not seen
But I guess that’s the point of hoping anyway
Going home, I’ll meet you at the table
Going home, I’ll meet you in the air
And you are never too young to think about it
Oh, I cannot wait to be home
I’m confined by my senses
To really know what you are like
You are more than I can fathom
And more than I can guess
And more than I can see with you in sight
But I have felt you with my spirit
I have felt you fill this room
And this is just an invitation
Just a sample of the whole
And I cannot wait to be going home
Going home, I’ll meet you at the table
Going home, I’ll meet you in the air
And you are never too young to think about it
Oh, I cannot wait to be going, to be going home
Face to face, how can it be
Face to face, how can it be
Face to face, how can it be
Cause this is just an invitation
Just a sample of the whole
And I cannot wait to be going home
***As of 8/27/08, you can hear this song on my MySpace page***
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Quiet Time : Grace to Escape from Bondage
Ezra 9:8 (KJV)
And now for a little space grace hath been shewed from the LORD our God, to leave us a remnant to escape, and to give us a nail in his holy place, that our God may lighten our eyes, and give us a little reviving in our bondage.
And now for a little space grace hath been shewed from the LORD our God, to leave us a remnant to escape, and to give us a nail in his holy place, that our God may lighten our eyes, and give us a little reviving in our bondage.
Daily Dose of Spurgeon
August 17, Evening
John 11:4
This sickness is not unto death.
From our Lord's words we learn that there is a limit to sickness. Here is an "unto" within which its ultimate end is restrained, and beyond which it cannot go. Lazarus might pass through death, but death was not to be the ultimatum of his sickness. In all sickness, the Lord saith to the waves of pain, "Hitherto shall ye go, but no further." His fixed purpose is not the destruction, but the instruction of His people. Wisdom hangs up the thermometer at the furnace mouth, and regulates the heat.
1. The limit is encouragingly comprehensive. The God of providence has limited the time, manner, intensity, repetition, and effects of all our sicknesses; each throb is decreed, each sleepless hour predestinated, each relapse ordained, each depression of spirit foreknown, and each sanctifying result eternally purposed. Nothing great or small escapes the ordaining hand of Him who numbers the hairs of our head.
2. This limit is wisely adjusted to our strength, to the end designed, and to the grace apportioned. Affliction comes not at haphazard-the weight of every stroke of the rod is accurately measured. He who made no mistakes in balancing the clouds and meting out the heavens, commits no errors in measuring out the ingredients which compose the medicine of souls. We cannot suffer too much nor be relieved too late.
3. The limit is tenderly appointed. The knife of the heavenly Surgeon never cuts deeper than is absolutely necessary. "He doth not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men." A mother's heart cries, "Spare my child"; but no mother is more compassionate than our gracious God. When we consider how hard-mouthed we are, it is a wonder that we are not driven with a sharper bit. The thought is full of consolation, that He who has fixed the bounds of our habitation, has also fixed the bounds of our tribulation.
Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishers, 1997
John 11:4
This sickness is not unto death.
From our Lord's words we learn that there is a limit to sickness. Here is an "unto" within which its ultimate end is restrained, and beyond which it cannot go. Lazarus might pass through death, but death was not to be the ultimatum of his sickness. In all sickness, the Lord saith to the waves of pain, "Hitherto shall ye go, but no further." His fixed purpose is not the destruction, but the instruction of His people. Wisdom hangs up the thermometer at the furnace mouth, and regulates the heat.
1. The limit is encouragingly comprehensive. The God of providence has limited the time, manner, intensity, repetition, and effects of all our sicknesses; each throb is decreed, each sleepless hour predestinated, each relapse ordained, each depression of spirit foreknown, and each sanctifying result eternally purposed. Nothing great or small escapes the ordaining hand of Him who numbers the hairs of our head.
2. This limit is wisely adjusted to our strength, to the end designed, and to the grace apportioned. Affliction comes not at haphazard-the weight of every stroke of the rod is accurately measured. He who made no mistakes in balancing the clouds and meting out the heavens, commits no errors in measuring out the ingredients which compose the medicine of souls. We cannot suffer too much nor be relieved too late.
3. The limit is tenderly appointed. The knife of the heavenly Surgeon never cuts deeper than is absolutely necessary. "He doth not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men." A mother's heart cries, "Spare my child"; but no mother is more compassionate than our gracious God. When we consider how hard-mouthed we are, it is a wonder that we are not driven with a sharper bit. The thought is full of consolation, that He who has fixed the bounds of our habitation, has also fixed the bounds of our tribulation.
Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishers, 1997
Monday, August 18, 2008
gumby-like : entrusted with a heart
Just call me Stretchy McStretcherson. Yes, I'm a dork, but I own it.
Anyway, I had a great conversation with my dear friend Abbie last week. Actually it was more of a counseling session. I needed advice about something that, to tell you the truth, I'm still not sure how to handle. She was very encouraging, as she always is, and told me this: 'God is stretching you.'
Yes indeed, God is stretching me; and I mean yowza-stretching me. Not to go into to much detail, but this situation has definitely taken me out of myself. I really have to consider someone else's feelings in such a way --- I don't know --- I am absolutely dumbfounded at the level/many-levels that engulf this situation. And it has nothing to do with me! Although I will say, it is affecting me. I've been praying about that big time.
Another thing Abbie said, which was extra sweet, is that 'God entrusts you with so many people's hearts.' Now, I feel as though He entrusts EVERYONE with EVERYBODY'S hearts, but that statement helped me realize the magnitude of this thing He's entrusted me with. And how I should look at situations with everyone that I know or come in contact with. Entrusted with a heart. Have you ever thought of it that way? Thought of life that way, I mean? That is a beautiful thing.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Quiet Time.
Almost a month to this day I wrote about my quiet times. In that post, I stated that I will be posting about those more often. Well, in case you haven't noticed, that was the first and only post of that type. I feel as though I have to confess it here on the world-wide-web: my quiet times have taken a hit. Big time. And I could blame it on my moving to a new place, and having been just plain exhausted. But there is no excuse. I have been convicted of my need to read the Word every day, and that just hasn't been happening as regularly as it should be.
So I apologize for that, and will be getting back on track, ASAP!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Devotionals:
Being a Chooser ~ Philippians 3:20-21 ~ Making Wise Choices
Anyway, I had a great conversation with my dear friend Abbie last week. Actually it was more of a counseling session. I needed advice about something that, to tell you the truth, I'm still not sure how to handle. She was very encouraging, as she always is, and told me this: 'God is stretching you.'
Yes indeed, God is stretching me; and I mean yowza-stretching me. Not to go into to much detail, but this situation has definitely taken me out of myself. I really have to consider someone else's feelings in such a way --- I don't know --- I am absolutely dumbfounded at the level/many-levels that engulf this situation. And it has nothing to do with me! Although I will say, it is affecting me. I've been praying about that big time.
Another thing Abbie said, which was extra sweet, is that 'God entrusts you with so many people's hearts.' Now, I feel as though He entrusts EVERYONE with EVERYBODY'S hearts, but that statement helped me realize the magnitude of this thing He's entrusted me with. And how I should look at situations with everyone that I know or come in contact with. Entrusted with a heart. Have you ever thought of it that way? Thought of life that way, I mean? That is a beautiful thing.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Quiet Time.
Almost a month to this day I wrote about my quiet times. In that post, I stated that I will be posting about those more often. Well, in case you haven't noticed, that was the first and only post of that type. I feel as though I have to confess it here on the world-wide-web: my quiet times have taken a hit. Big time. And I could blame it on my moving to a new place, and having been just plain exhausted. But there is no excuse. I have been convicted of my need to read the Word every day, and that just hasn't been happening as regularly as it should be.
So I apologize for that, and will be getting back on track, ASAP!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Devotionals:
Being a Chooser ~ Philippians 3:20-21 ~ Making Wise Choices
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
beautifully broken
Have you ever felt absolutely broken? I'm not talking about 'heartbroken' in the teeny-bopper sense; but broken.
I often wonder about this with other Christians, because let me tell you, I've felt as though I've been put through the ringer. As my hometown pastor Paul would say; 'taken to the woodshed.' And maybe it's all because of the life I've led; which to be honest has been full of out-of-control confusion.
Let me explain ...
This is all stemming from something I've noticed in some Christians that has taken me aback. What I've taken as a lack of empathy (and I realize this is just my perception of things - I could be totally wrong)... It seems as though there are just certain situations that can't be comprehended, so they are just swept under the rug. 'Well, I just have no idea what that's like, can we go on to something else, please?' And I just want to scream, 'This is reality! Maybe not to you, but to a lot of people; this is life or death - spiritually speaking - therefore it is a deadly serious matter.'
And I totally get it; I do have a different perspective from other folks. I really do. And that makes it easier for me to feel more empathetic than uncomfortable. God has blessed me with this gift. It makes me want to delve into the lies that people believe when coming out of a situation of victimization. I'm not excusing the resulting sin; but I want to understand it.
And I want to help. I've posted before about how I want to help, but I still feel at a loss for how to make it happen. I've bought t-shirts, so what, right? Well, here's one thing I'm being more and more convicted to do:
Be more welcoming to new people at my church. Because I can tell you right now, when I first stepped foot in my new church, I was unbelievably broken. Happily broken, but broken still. And it was a struggle to meet people. I know I'm not alone in this; and I truly believe God has shown me this for a reason. So maybe this is my start. I need your prayers in this, because I'm not a naturally outgoing person. But I will be more intentional. And I'm not the only one, I do have friends at my church who feel the same conviction, so please pray for them, too.
I just don't want to leave anyone behind.
Devotionals: Set an Example ~ The Sacrificial Kingdom ~ Pray, then Decide
(below was written back in May; my original 'beautifully broken' post that was never finished or published)
Shallow vs. deep truth; love the 'ugly.'
*************
Thoughts on obvious, public sin and willful sin.
Like the boy who called wolf - when they really need help, will you be there for them?
++++++++++++++
If you depend on someone like you're supposed to depend on God... you will drive that person crazy!!! Yes, I have been driven crazy a lot lately...
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"This signature on each soul may be a product of heredity and environment, but that only means that heredity and environment are among the instruments whereby God creates a soul. I am considering not how, but why, He makes each soul unique. If He had no use for all these differences, I do not see why He should have created more souls than one. Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you. The mould in which a key is made would be strange thing, if you had never seen a key: and the key itself a strange thing if you had never seen a lock. Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the Divine substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house with many mansions. For it is not humanity in the abstract that is to be saved, but you- you, the individual reader, John Stubbs or Janet Smith...... Your place in heaven will seem to be made for you and you alone, because you were made for it- made for it stitch by stitch as a glove is made for a hand." C.S. Lewis - The Problem of Pain.
I often wonder about this with other Christians, because let me tell you, I've felt as though I've been put through the ringer. As my hometown pastor Paul would say; 'taken to the woodshed.' And maybe it's all because of the life I've led; which to be honest has been full of out-of-control confusion.
Let me explain ...
This is all stemming from something I've noticed in some Christians that has taken me aback. What I've taken as a lack of empathy (and I realize this is just my perception of things - I could be totally wrong)... It seems as though there are just certain situations that can't be comprehended, so they are just swept under the rug. 'Well, I just have no idea what that's like, can we go on to something else, please?' And I just want to scream, 'This is reality! Maybe not to you, but to a lot of people; this is life or death - spiritually speaking - therefore it is a deadly serious matter.'
I just wish there was more 'stepping out of the bubble,' I guess. I mean, I get it, some things are just uncomfortable; I squirm, too. I hear it all over the news; I've been tempted to take cnn.com off of my home screen because of all the horrible things in the news every day. *** (warning; these links are upsetting, but aren't near the worst I could have posted) *** Kidnapping, rape, murder, torture, modern day slavery, stories of children being led into prostitution. It all makes me sick to my stomach. But I don't want to ignore it. I don't want to chalk it up to, 'well, I just couldn't imagine that' or 'that doesn't affect me.' Because it does affect me. And I can't understand how it wouldn't affect others.
Be kind: for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle
And I totally get it; I do have a different perspective from other folks. I really do. And that makes it easier for me to feel more empathetic than uncomfortable. God has blessed me with this gift. It makes me want to delve into the lies that people believe when coming out of a situation of victimization. I'm not excusing the resulting sin; but I want to understand it.
And I want to help. I've posted before about how I want to help, but I still feel at a loss for how to make it happen. I've bought t-shirts, so what, right? Well, here's one thing I'm being more and more convicted to do:
Be more welcoming to new people at my church. Because I can tell you right now, when I first stepped foot in my new church, I was unbelievably broken. Happily broken, but broken still. And it was a struggle to meet people. I know I'm not alone in this; and I truly believe God has shown me this for a reason. So maybe this is my start. I need your prayers in this, because I'm not a naturally outgoing person. But I will be more intentional. And I'm not the only one, I do have friends at my church who feel the same conviction, so please pray for them, too.
I just don't want to leave anyone behind.
Devotionals: Set an Example ~ The Sacrificial Kingdom ~ Pray, then Decide
(below was written back in May; my original 'beautifully broken' post that was never finished or published)
Shallow vs. deep truth; love the 'ugly.'
*************
Thoughts on obvious, public sin and willful sin.
Like the boy who called wolf - when they really need help, will you be there for them?
++++++++++++++
If you depend on someone like you're supposed to depend on God... you will drive that person crazy!!! Yes, I have been driven crazy a lot lately...
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"This signature on each soul may be a product of heredity and environment, but that only means that heredity and environment are among the instruments whereby God creates a soul. I am considering not how, but why, He makes each soul unique. If He had no use for all these differences, I do not see why He should have created more souls than one. Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you. The mould in which a key is made would be strange thing, if you had never seen a key: and the key itself a strange thing if you had never seen a lock. Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the Divine substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house with many mansions. For it is not humanity in the abstract that is to be saved, but you- you, the individual reader, John Stubbs or Janet Smith...... Your place in heaven will seem to be made for you and you alone, because you were made for it- made for it stitch by stitch as a glove is made for a hand." C.S. Lewis - The Problem of Pain.
Monday, August 11, 2008
"I wish to begin again on a daily basis"
I don't want to ever consider myself a 'mature' Christian.
I don't ever want to think that I've learned all there is to know.
I want be continually challenged by You.
Please help me to remain child-like in my faith; in my belief.
I want to be a sponge that is never fully saturated.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I once found the transcript to Bono's speech given at the National Prayer Breakfast in 2006. I found it quite by accident; but it intrigued me.
Anyway, I saw something I never would have expected out of such a hugely talented and famous rock star - yeah, and I already knew how much he's done for HIV/AIDS in Africa - and about the religious themes in his music (we even deconstructed the lyrics to 'With or Without You' in 8th grade English) - I saw a desire to know God.
So I've spent some time looking up quotes (yes, one of my favorite hobbies, so what?), and felt like pasting them below. I don't know, just a different perspective on Christianity than I am used to; I like to see other people's p.o.v.'s:
................................................................
"If I could put it simply, I would say that I believe there's a force of love and logic in the world, a force of love and logic behind the universe. And I believe in the poetic genius of a creator who would choose to express such unfathomable power as a child born in "straw poverty"; i.e., the story of Christ makes sense to me. ... As an artist, I see the poetry of it. It's so brilliant. That this scale of creation, and the unfathomable universe, should describe itself in such vulnerability, as a child. That is mind-blowing to me. I guess that would make me a Christian. Although I don't use the label, because it is so very hard to live up to. I feel like I'm the worst example of it, so I just kinda keep my mouth shut."
"...this of course is at the heart of the idea of redemption: to begin again. This is at the heart of religious fundamentalism too: to be born again. I wish to begin again on a daily basis. To be born again every day is something that I try to do. And I'm deadly serious about that."
"But with Christ, we have access in a one-to-one relationship, for, as in the Old Testament, it was more one of worship and awe, a vertical relationship. The New Testament, on the other hand, we look across at a Jesus who looks familiar, horizontal. The combination is what makes the Cross."
"It's a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the Universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma. You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics - in physical laws - every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the Universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that 'As you reap, so will you sow' stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff"
"I'd be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge. I'd be in deep _____. It doesn't excuse my mistakes, but I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity."
I love the bit when Christ's asked for his greatest hits and he says, "OK, love God, and love your neighbours as yourself." Christianity is not complicated, that's what it is.
So now — cut to 1980. Irish rock group, who've been through the fire of a certain kind of revival, a Christian-type revival, go to America. Turn on the TV the night you arrive, and there's all these people talking from the Scriptures. But they're quite obviously raving lunatics. Suddenly you go, what's this? And you change the channel. There's another one. You change the channel, and there's another secondhand-car salesman. You think, oh, my God. But their words sound so similar . . . to the words out of our mouths. So what happens? You learn to shut up. You say, whoa, what's this going on? You go oddly still and quiet. If you talk like this around here, people will think you're one of those. And you realize that these are the traders — as in t-r-a-d-e-r-s — in the temple.
One SOURCE - the other was Wikiquote.
I don't ever want to think that I've learned all there is to know.
I want be continually challenged by You.
Please help me to remain child-like in my faith; in my belief.
I want to be a sponge that is never fully saturated.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I once found the transcript to Bono's speech given at the National Prayer Breakfast in 2006. I found it quite by accident; but it intrigued me.
Anyway, I saw something I never would have expected out of such a hugely talented and famous rock star - yeah, and I already knew how much he's done for HIV/AIDS in Africa - and about the religious themes in his music (we even deconstructed the lyrics to 'With or Without You' in 8th grade English) - I saw a desire to know God.
So I've spent some time looking up quotes (yes, one of my favorite hobbies, so what?), and felt like pasting them below. I don't know, just a different perspective on Christianity than I am used to; I like to see other people's p.o.v.'s:
................................................................
"If I could put it simply, I would say that I believe there's a force of love and logic in the world, a force of love and logic behind the universe. And I believe in the poetic genius of a creator who would choose to express such unfathomable power as a child born in "straw poverty"; i.e., the story of Christ makes sense to me. ... As an artist, I see the poetry of it. It's so brilliant. That this scale of creation, and the unfathomable universe, should describe itself in such vulnerability, as a child. That is mind-blowing to me. I guess that would make me a Christian. Although I don't use the label, because it is so very hard to live up to. I feel like I'm the worst example of it, so I just kinda keep my mouth shut."
"...this of course is at the heart of the idea of redemption: to begin again. This is at the heart of religious fundamentalism too: to be born again. I wish to begin again on a daily basis. To be born again every day is something that I try to do. And I'm deadly serious about that."
"But with Christ, we have access in a one-to-one relationship, for, as in the Old Testament, it was more one of worship and awe, a vertical relationship. The New Testament, on the other hand, we look across at a Jesus who looks familiar, horizontal. The combination is what makes the Cross."
"It's a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the Universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma. You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics - in physical laws - every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the Universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that 'As you reap, so will you sow' stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff"
"I'd be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge. I'd be in deep _____. It doesn't excuse my mistakes, but I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity."
I love the bit when Christ's asked for his greatest hits and he says, "OK, love God, and love your neighbours as yourself." Christianity is not complicated, that's what it is.
So now — cut to 1980. Irish rock group, who've been through the fire of a certain kind of revival, a Christian-type revival, go to America. Turn on the TV the night you arrive, and there's all these people talking from the Scriptures. But they're quite obviously raving lunatics. Suddenly you go, what's this? And you change the channel. There's another one. You change the channel, and there's another secondhand-car salesman. You think, oh, my God. But their words sound so similar . . . to the words out of our mouths. So what happens? You learn to shut up. You say, whoa, what's this going on? You go oddly still and quiet. If you talk like this around here, people will think you're one of those. And you realize that these are the traders — as in t-r-a-d-e-r-s — in the temple.
One SOURCE - the other was Wikiquote.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Love like He does : without thought for gain
Totally.selfless.Love.
Can you imagine it? Can you picture yourself capable of it? I guess in the end, as fallen beings, we aren't able to achieve this type of love. However, I believe were are to strive for it. Let me try to explain:
Sometimes I have a hard time seeing myself married. I had a near breakdown when I was planning on moving. Lots of circumstances contributed to this, but one thing that made it so hard was this: I'm tired of doing everything alone. And the end I wasn't alone. But it sure felt like I was for a while there, until I reached out for help. But during my emotional-mess, I had the fleeting thought 'if only I had a husband to take care of these piddly details ... do I even need a furniture dolly???'
And it's funny, because when you're younger, you just can't wait to be on your own. To have my own apartment! That always sounded so cool. I remember my Aunt Melanie having an apartment in Little Rock, and was always so excited when I got to spend the night with her.
Fast forward to the present, where I live in a city that I couldn't even begin to afford to live on my own. Funny thing is, I don't really want to anymore. I like having the 'community' of living with other people. I can honestly see myself living where I do now until I get married (a-hem, that all depends on how long I will have to wait on that, I guess, but that is how I see it ... short-term).
But there are times when I just can't see it. Being married to someone. Sharing my LIFE with them. Now don't get me wrong, it's something I'm extremely excited about ... but I just can't see it. Which when you get right down to it, is probably a good thing ... I have no real expectations for what it will be like. In this area, at least for me, the possibilities are endless ...
Marriage and Love. Obviously they go hand in hand. But I don't want to be a selfish with love. I don't want to demand, expect, etc... from someone. I don't want to think of marriage as any gain other than as a blessing bestowed upon me. But I can't help but relax in the knowledge that one day I will, Lord willing, have someone in my life who can help me in things both important and mundane, plus all the in between.
How does one reconcile this? Just another mystery of the heart? Steps toward sanctification? Am I overthinking this? At least I can answer the latter - ABSOLUTELY. Gosh, sometimes I annoy myself.
Anywho, I had a thought pop into my mind last night. I've been dwelling a lot Love. Love for others, offering Love to everyone; especially those whose actions are beyond my comprehension. How does one go about this without somehow seeking something in return? Be it: help, acknowledgement, respect, expected return of feelings of various types under various circumstances?
Then it hit me: Love like He does: without thought for gain. Guess that's all I need to do, hopefully the rest will work itself out.
Can you imagine it? Can you picture yourself capable of it? I guess in the end, as fallen beings, we aren't able to achieve this type of love. However, I believe were are to strive for it. Let me try to explain:
Sometimes I have a hard time seeing myself married. I had a near breakdown when I was planning on moving. Lots of circumstances contributed to this, but one thing that made it so hard was this: I'm tired of doing everything alone. And the end I wasn't alone. But it sure felt like I was for a while there, until I reached out for help. But during my emotional-mess, I had the fleeting thought 'if only I had a husband to take care of these piddly details ... do I even need a furniture dolly???'
And it's funny, because when you're younger, you just can't wait to be on your own. To have my own apartment! That always sounded so cool. I remember my Aunt Melanie having an apartment in Little Rock, and was always so excited when I got to spend the night with her.
Fast forward to the present, where I live in a city that I couldn't even begin to afford to live on my own. Funny thing is, I don't really want to anymore. I like having the 'community' of living with other people. I can honestly see myself living where I do now until I get married (a-hem, that all depends on how long I will have to wait on that, I guess, but that is how I see it ... short-term).
But there are times when I just can't see it. Being married to someone. Sharing my LIFE with them. Now don't get me wrong, it's something I'm extremely excited about ... but I just can't see it. Which when you get right down to it, is probably a good thing ... I have no real expectations for what it will be like. In this area, at least for me, the possibilities are endless ...
Marriage and Love. Obviously they go hand in hand. But I don't want to be a selfish with love. I don't want to demand, expect, etc... from someone. I don't want to think of marriage as any gain other than as a blessing bestowed upon me. But I can't help but relax in the knowledge that one day I will, Lord willing, have someone in my life who can help me in things both important and mundane, plus all the in between.
How does one reconcile this? Just another mystery of the heart? Steps toward sanctification? Am I overthinking this? At least I can answer the latter - ABSOLUTELY. Gosh, sometimes I annoy myself.
Anywho, I had a thought pop into my mind last night. I've been dwelling a lot Love. Love for others, offering Love to everyone; especially those whose actions are beyond my comprehension. How does one go about this without somehow seeking something in return? Be it: help, acknowledgement, respect, expected return of feelings of various types under various circumstances?
Then it hit me: Love like He does: without thought for gain. Guess that's all I need to do, hopefully the rest will work itself out.
GROWING PAINS
Even the most painful of contortions can result in true beauty.
Kinda like yoga.
Even the most painful of contortions can result in true beauty.
Kinda like yoga.
Everything like you and me.
Learn it from Him.
Learn it from Him.
Deep thoughts to ponder: John Piper - Thoughts on Why Everything Exists.
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