I really can't take this anymore. I will be an aunt again any minute/hour now! My sis-in-law has been in induced labor for a few hours now. I can't sleep! This is driving me crazy! I hate that I'm not there right now...
Anyway, this amazing little life is about to begin, and I feel so connected already. Just like when my nephew was born. It's just so amazing to think... a new life. How great is that? Even when life throws you so many curves... it's still such a great thing. And to think that I will be a part of that life. For this new little person to know that I will be here for him/her (yes, it's a surprise!). To think of how my nephew is my heart, and that this new little person will be too. It's just amazing.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Thursday, August 03, 2006
That Feeling
That feeling
What do you do with that feeling? That giddy, giggly, act-like-a-little-girl feeling? Does it make sense that it happens every time, every time we talk? That kind of feeling doesnt happen to me very often---especially not on this scale---so I feel at a loss when it does.
Awww, Im just in one of those moods. I know people who say they are sooo happy where they are in life. Not to say Im unhappy, but Im restless. I have always been restless. I think its safe to say Ive been restless since childhood. Always wanting something new; never satisfied with the environment I am in. I do not want to spend the rest of my life restless. It would be nice to finally feel stable--- to have something to come home to, to know that it is real and sure.
I feel like lately my mind is doing that searching thing again. Its a little different now than it has been before, maybe its because Im getting older, growing up. Growing inward, where I feel more in tune with my emotions, what I am truly feeling. Searching--- not exactly sure what for, but its there.
So, back to that feeling. What in the world do I do with it? Do I run away (as usual), do I let it take me over? Do I let myself fall, which by the way I am not good at doing? Really, the only reason to be afraid of heights is the pain that may result from falling. I guess I just want to be sure that someone will be there to catch me. I want to be assured of where I will land.
Because that feeling? That feeling is great, amazing. Its something that I want to feel every day.
What do you do with that feeling? That giddy, giggly, act-like-a-little-girl feeling? Does it make sense that it happens every time, every time we talk? That kind of feeling doesnt happen to me very often---especially not on this scale---so I feel at a loss when it does.
Awww, Im just in one of those moods. I know people who say they are sooo happy where they are in life. Not to say Im unhappy, but Im restless. I have always been restless. I think its safe to say Ive been restless since childhood. Always wanting something new; never satisfied with the environment I am in. I do not want to spend the rest of my life restless. It would be nice to finally feel stable--- to have something to come home to, to know that it is real and sure.
I feel like lately my mind is doing that searching thing again. Its a little different now than it has been before, maybe its because Im getting older, growing up. Growing inward, where I feel more in tune with my emotions, what I am truly feeling. Searching--- not exactly sure what for, but its there.
So, back to that feeling. What in the world do I do with it? Do I run away (as usual), do I let it take me over? Do I let myself fall, which by the way I am not good at doing? Really, the only reason to be afraid of heights is the pain that may result from falling. I guess I just want to be sure that someone will be there to catch me. I want to be assured of where I will land.
Because that feeling? That feeling is great, amazing. Its something that I want to feel every day.
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