Livin' on a Prayer

Living on a prayer, literally every day.

Every.Single. Day.

Trying VERY hard to pray continuously.

Know that it is not in my nature to do so.

Feel as though I'm not doing it right.

Know that there is no other way.

You have to feel the effects of a fall before you can recognize and appreciate the reward of standing tall.

Impatient. Waiting. Hoping.

Looking for a connection.

ACHING for it.

At the same time, feel as though I'm closed off.

Have become even more picky.

Don't want to pine after the impossible.

LOOKING-CONNECT

Don't want this wall to stay up.

Not sure how to break it down.

Know that is has served me well in the past, when I wasn't paying attention.

When I let people in who didn't deserve to be there.

Feeling incredibly helpless, and knowing that this is how it is supposed to be.

Trying to appreciate it, and actually succeeding at times.

MIRACULOUS

Marveling at the state I'm in.

Feel floaty, feel free.

FREE.

It is still a struggle.

One that doesn't go away.

This struggle should be embraced.

It is why we are here.

IT.IS.WHY.I'M.HERE.

GOODNESS.

It is everywhere, you just have to seek it.

Wish it were more pervasive.

Know that the world doesn't work that way.

"We are all fallen creatures, and very hard to live with" C.S.L.

Know where this world is headed, led by human nature.

NOT.PRETTY.AT.ALL.

FAITH.

Faith in God. In His Plan. In His Guidance. In His LOVE. In His Forgiveness.

Everything else pales in comparison.

EVERYTHING-ELSE.

PRAY.

Pray for Forgiveness, for Happiness, for LOVE, for everything and nothing at all.

Feel selfish, admit this in my prayers to Him.

Funny, because He already knows.

Does God laugh?

TIRED.

Emotionally, physically, mentally tired.

Looking for fulfillment.

Feels as though I'm on my way.

Wish I could take YOU with me.

Can't.

This trip is to be made alone.