Compromise

To know me, REALLY know me, highlight below:

I am a Christian. It is not something that I will compromise anymore. It is not something to be hidden, swept under a rug, kept as a shameful secret. I'm tired.

I am tired of looking in the wrong places. Exhausted by the chase of mind-blowingly numb pursuits.

I have been THINKING. Thinking A LOT lately. I have been spending more time alone. Funny thing is, I never FEEL alone any more. I know I'm not, and never will be. Never have been. I've learned to accept what God wants for my life, not to second guess 'why I don't have this, or why I can't have that.' For me, finally. God is enough.

I feel as though I'm having my time in the wilderness. Something that I've done on my own, a place where I must try to get by without wordly desires. Of course, this is a quasi-wilderness, and I'm not under the impression that I have sacrificed anything. Certainly, I haven't been to hell and back, or been tested by God in any grand way.

I think that it is in those small, everyday happenings that God speaks to us. It's clever, it's quiet, it's powerful.

With these happenings well, let's just say, I've heard them loud and clear. The happiest times of my life are when I am in the pursuit of God. Of knowledge, of understanding. Of acceptance and willingness to give. To give of myself, to turn away from myself, to recognize that God is ultimately in control. I am grateful for that.

Being a Christian is an ever-active endeavor. You must be relentless, 'keep your eye on the prize,' vigilant.

A few things I've realized...

*Love is not to be forced. Life is not to be forced. To a certain extent yes. You must put forth effort in everything you do. But not to the detriment of your values, to your relationship with God. Pray without ceasing.

*To not regret what you've done in the past. To that end, you must learn a lesson from it, and do not forget that lesson. Be an apt pupil of your past, your present. Finding the balance between not regretting and yet forgiving youself: it can be hard, and even more tough to keep, but it's worth it. Just keep in mind that He has already forgiven you. And that is all that really matters.

*Look for the good in people. However, be wary of the ways in which they can keep you from your path. People don't purposefully lead you to temptation (usually), but you must be strong in your beliefs, and not be swayed.