exist

I swear, the thoughts I have while taking walks.

Actually, I was walking to work, but still....

"Can you justify the validity of your existence?" Let me tell you, that one seemed to come out of nowhere. Of course, I am reading C.L. Lewis right now, so...

Because really, this is a ridiculous statement, when you consider that everyone's existence is valid. By the simple act of existing, taking in oxygen, all people are valid. I even looked the word up, valid, on dictionary.com, to make sure I was using it right. I found 'having a legitimate basis,' and 'appropriate to the end in view,' both of which serve my purpose well enough.

So, I was thinking yesterday (on the walk home, hmmm, maybe that is where it came from, too), is what I'm doing really worth it? Is what I'm doing with my life really making me happy? Because your existence takes into account what you do, who you are. So, is my working a job that isn't that fulfilling, living in a city far from the ones I love the most- are these things really VALID in the scheme of things? Is there a legitimate basis for the way I'm living my life? What I'm doing with it? Where I'm living it? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not planning on moving to one of those 'hippy communes' in Northwest Arkansas (although at times it's tempting - community grape stomping, anyone?).

And I guess another thing I was thinking about are some types of people. You know, the selfish types. The one's who really don't give a flip about the people around them, unless those people can give them something. I had a conversation the other day with a friend about cheating. I kinda got heated, saying that only a truly selfish person would do that, one who doesn't care about their partner. So, in my own mind (so, on the outside looking in), how do people like that validify their existence? Is there a legitimate basis for that behavior? I don't see one. Of course, I'm sure they could come up with something to justify it. (and no, as far as I know, I've only been cheated on once, and I really didn't like the guy, so this isn't a 'woman scorned' thing).

I don't know where I'm trying to go with this, except that maybe I need to get my butt into gear... figure some things out. Because right now, I feel as though I'm just drifting. And for someone who can be a bit of a control-freak, well... that's not fun!

So, I have a question for you. If you could do anything you want, and I mean ANYTHING, what would it be? I'm talking about how you would live your life. There are no restrictions, money is no object. Jobs aren't needed. What would you do? What kind of person would you be?