He knew of every tear before it fell / no regrets

A conversation last night got me to thinking about my past. About how things have happened to me that seemed so terrible at the time, but that I am grateful for them now, because of what I have learned.

I think it's too easy to wallow in a past or present situation. To be so mired in it, because the realization of hindsight is, well, impossible. Let me play devil's advocate for a second. Say it were really possible to go back in time and avoid certain mistakes or mishaps. Would that make the person you are today happier, or "better?" I don't think so. It would just make you different. Sorry to break it to you, but different doesn't equal better. And being that the past is a fixed, concrete thing, then there really isn't any use in thinking about how things "might have been." More like "might have been but never-even-in-an-alternate-universe can be."

To dwell on the past just doesn't make any sense. What does make sense is to see how God's hand was in those situations; in every minute detail. Seriously, just try it out. Even in the most dire of circumstances, I can see God's hand it every second; and I mean every-single-second. I think it's a great exercise, but really, I know that I prayed for it long before it was shown to me (and in one situation, reading the Bible revealed it to me!). I am so grateful to have the Gospel in my life.

As for me, I'm really beginning to like the person I am today. And if that took going through things that people couldn't imagine being grateful for, well then I just pray some day that God will reveal it to them too, in their own lives.

P.S. One cool thing to add here. Back in October I went for a jog, and realized that it was almost a year to the day that I had finished the marathon. I started to think of my friends who were running it again, and how proud I was of them. How absurd it seemed for me to have done it to almost everyone I know. How no one believed that I was actually training for a marathon; least of all myself! And then I remember thinking that God wasn't surprised that I was doing it at the time. God knew before I was born that I would finish a marathon on October 21, 2007. Then I realized that He knew that before time began! He knew every second of that 6.5 HOURS of my life! How at around mile 13 my feet would start to hurt, or that around 22 I would be in so much pain that I wouldn't believe that I could finish at all. He knew of every tear before it fell. Praise God! He is simply Amazing.

Addendum 01/22/2009: Check out John Piper's, The President, the Passengers, and the Patience of God.