Chasing Fireworks

Maybe one day we'll stop passing each other

2009-08-26T11:55:00.011-04:00

Maybe one day we'll stop passing each other
You see, I'm not so good at relationships
So I will probably seem disinterested
I'm banking on God's Sovereignty.

That way, I can't mess it up
Praying for you...
Trusting in Him...
Waiting on Heaven.

+++++++++++++++++

Ah yes, I'm ramblin' again. I thought of this last night as I was drifting off to sleep. If I ever get married, then the guy is alive right now. However, I'm SO not good at relationships. I've discovered that I immediately go to the default of "so-and-so would never want to hang out with me" (this applies to everyone, not just the opposite sex). Really weird, and I'm not sure where that comes from, but there you have it. And occassionally I will get extra attention from a guy, then later feel as though I should have been more open - dare I say flirty, even. Ridiculousness all around, because a) um, I'm so not flirty and b) who's to say the guy is interested, anyway. But still, I sometimes worry about how I come across.

It is then that I have to remind myself of the Sovereignty of God. I can't mess this up! (well, barring any colossal, awful sin that would mar my witness or hurt the person deeply). So, it's okay if I don't flirt much, or am too quiet. Whoever God has chosen for me will lead that man to me - flaws and all.

Psalm 94:19 (KJV)

In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.

+++++++++++

Check out this post from a blog I randomly found:

Affection for God's Motley Crew.

+++++++++++

The picture above popped up when I google imaged "mess it up."

Quiet Time : jumping through hoops

2009-08-25T12:46:00.006-04:00

I've finished Ezekiel, and now am in Daniel.

Let me just share with you a small part of what I learned from the end of Ezekiel. Ezekiel is taken to see the new temple, and shown around by a man (40:3). This is another one of those parts of the Bible that is extremely descriptive about how the temple is designed. Now, through reading the Old Testament, I've had to force myself to read every word (KJV no less) of these descriptions. To not skip any of it. It can be repetitive, but I'm glad I did it. Because in Ezekiel, it kinda came to me. This shows me how God is PARTICULAR (and I'm sure I've read this concept somewhere). His plans for His temple were particular. His plans for His kingdom are particular. And His plans for me are particular. He is perfectly particular. Everything has it's place, it's purpose - it's truly amazing.

Now on to Daniel and "jumping through hoops." King Nebuchadnezzar had a golden idol constructed, and said that if anyone refused to bow to it, they would be killed. But note the instruction:

Daniel 3:4-7 (KJV)

4Then an herald cried aloud, To you it is commanded, O people, nations, and languages,
5That at what time ye hear the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, dulcimer, and all kinds of musick, ye fall down and worship the golden image that Nebuchadnezzar the king hath set up:
6And whoso falleth not down and worshippeth shall the same hour be cast into the midst of a burning fiery furnace.
7Therefore at that time, when all the people heard the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, and all kinds of musick, all the people, the nations, and the languages, fell down and worshipped the golden image that Nebuchadnezzar the king had set up.

These instructions are repeated three times in this chapter. Once to show how it was to be done (any time you hear those instruments!), then to show that people did it, and the third time to describe how a few refused to do it:

Daniel 3:14-18 (KJV)

14Nebuchadnezzar spake and said unto them, Is it true, O Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, do not ye serve my gods, nor worship the golden image which I have set up?
15Now if ye be ready that at what time ye hear the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, and dulcimer, and all kinds of musick, ye fall down and worship the image which I have made; well: but if ye worship not, ye shall be cast the same hour into the midst of a burning fiery furnace; and who is that God that shall deliver you out of my hands?
16Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter.
17If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.
18But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.

Whew! After reading about how the people were to bow to this idol - I thought - does this mean that ANYTIME they heard the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, dulcimer, and ALL KINDS of musick - they were to bow to this 90 foot tall golden statue??? Talk about jumping through hoops to appease a god! But then I thought, isn't this true of all idoltry? That when we worship things other than God, we usually have to go to a lot of trouble to even TRY to gain any pleasure - or any pleasure gained usually leads to trouble. And the sad fact is that it's all folly - which leads to exclusion from God - if one does not repent and believe.

Jonah 2:8

They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy.

So, in conclusion, I want to understand how God is particular with my life - and not waste my time on any false thing - because to do so is, in reality, forsaking the mercy that God so generously gives to me. I pray for the grace to do so.

Quiet Time : new life for dry bones

2009-08-14T12:07:00.004-04:00

Ezekiel 36:24-28

24For I will take you from among the heathen, and gather you out of all countries, and will bring you into your own land.

25Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you.

26A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.

27And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.

28And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; and ye shall be my people, and I will be your God.

NEW LIFE

Ezekiel 37:4-10

4Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the LORD.

5Thus saith the Lord GOD unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live:

6And I will lay sinews upon you, and will bring up flesh upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and ye shall live; and ye shall know that I am the LORD.

7So I prophesied as I was commanded: and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the bones came together, bone to his bone.

8And when I beheld, lo, the sinews and the flesh came up upon them, and the skin covered them above: but there was no breath in them.

9Then said he unto me, Prophesy unto the wind, prophesy, son of man, and say to the wind, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe upon these slain, that they may live.

10So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood up upon their feet, an exceeding great army.

Notice how in the previous chapter, God told Ezekiel about what was going to happen, then in this chapter, He showed it to him.

Also, notice how with the "dry bones," the Lord commanded Ezekial* to prophesy. He didn't just make these things happen, He wanted Ezekiel to speak the words for Him.

*Note that God refers to Ezekiel as "son of man."

.:T.R.U.S.T:.

2009-08-11T10:46:00.009-04:00

Whoa buddy. The Lord has been teaching-teaching-teaching me the past few months on how to trust Him. It's kind of difficult to explain. I have been feeling this urging to trust Him. Not in a flippant way - not in a head-knowledge way, but a heart-knowledge way. To trust Him with every.single.thing. Every single dadgum emotion that flies around in my mind. My very breath. He wants me to TRUST in Him alone.

I specifically asked for this in my Bible study one night, having to apologize for being vague, because I didn't have any specific situation to speak of. I made it a point to say that I wasn't hiding anything. I asked that they would pray that I would BE STILL and continue to learn from Him.

Well, now I have a real situation. One where I need to trust the Lord completely. I am so very grateful to Him for preparing me for this. I have never felt so loved, comforted, and protected in my entire life. I know I could never explain this adequately, but I do know that it is from the Lord. It moves me to tears of gratitude. I am indeed blessed! :)

And it's interesting, because I know it's preparing me for everything else coming up in my life, too. As I wrote above, God is showing me how to trust Him with every aspect of my life. Lately, He has even been so kind as to give me great examples of what to look for in a future husband (Lord Willing) - in how to see the character of Christ in a man with great clarity, and to long for that, just as I long for that great day when I will finally be with Jesus.

Because I know that in order to be able to trust a husband, I need to be able to trust God.

Father, I thank You and praise You for the work you began in me, and are continuing to do in me, and that You will be faithful to do so until I see Your face. I can't believe You love me so much! I don't deserve any good thing, and yet You give me so much! The best of which is knowledge of You. A right relationship with You. I am overwhelmed.

+++

Great sermon from Michael Lawrence - Complaints Along the Way - Number 11-12. The third point has helped me when I pray, using Moses as the example.

Quiet Time : "I will be glorified in the midst of thee"

2009-08-05T13:10:00.004-04:00

Ezekiel 26:2 (KJV)

Son of man, because that Tyrus hath said against Jerusalem, Aha, she is broken that was the gates of the people: she is turned unto me: I shall be replenished, now she is laid waste:

Punishment/wrath.

Ezekiel 27:26 (KJV)

Thy rowers have brought thee into great waters: the east wind hath broken thee in the midst of the seas.

(random selection here, this is kinda how I feel right now)

Ezekiel 27:36 (KJV)

The merchants among the people shall hiss at thee; thou shalt be a terror, and never shalt be any more.

(see the reason above, Ez. 26:2)

Ezekiel 28 (KJV)

Read the whole chapter. Excellent example of making self a god, and how God handles that.

Ezekiel 28:22 (KJV)

And say, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I am against thee, O Zidon; and I will be glorified in the midst of thee: and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall have executed judgments in her, and shall be sanctified in her.

Note how He will be GLORIFIED.

Ezekiel 28:26 (KJV)

And they (Israel) shall dwell safely therein, and shall build houses, and plant vineyards; yea, they shall dwell with confidence, when I have executed judgments upon all those that despise them round about them; and they shall know that I am the LORD their God.

Note how He says "I am the LORD their God." Above in vs. 22, he says "they shall know that I am the LORD." He belongs only to those who He is for.

Quiet Time : "but the Bible doesn't say anything about..."

2009-07-22T15:08:00.004-04:00

Ezekial 16. Feel as though that's all I need to say. E-Z-E-K-I-A-L ONE-SIX.

It's not like Ezekial is the first person/prophet in the Bible to compare Jerusalem to a harlot, but I think it's the shear repetiveness of this theme that makes this so important. Mankind treats God just as if we are an unfaithful wife to a loving husband. He gives us so much, and we treat him like dirt. No, I would go beyond saying that we treat Him like dirt; we are UNFAITHFUL to Him (Ez. 16:32). We delightfully play the prostitute to all kinds of unworthy idols, in such a way that completely and utterly dishonors Him.

Now up there in my title, I alluded to people who think that God doesn't have anything to say about "fill-in-the-blank." For some reason, reading from Ezekial this morning made me think about how people say that God doesn't have any opinion on sexuality. I've heard it said that God made people and made sex, and doesn't give an iota about what we do with our bodies. Do whatever feels good. Don't worry about any consequences. "These people" don't know the same God that I do. I know a completely good and a completely just God. One who can't be in the presence of any unpure thing. That is where His wrath comes in. That is why we need Jesus.

And yet God remains faithful. None of us deserves this:

Ezekial 16:60-63 (KJV)

60Nevertheless I will remember my covenant with thee in the days of thy youth, and I will establish unto thee an everlasting covenant.
61Then thou shalt remember thy ways, and be ashamed, when thou shalt receive thy sisters, thine elder and thy younger: and I will give them unto thee for daughters, but not by thy covenant.
62And I will establish my covenant with thee; and thou shalt know that I am the LORD:
63That thou mayest remember, and be confounded, and never open thy mouth any more because of thy shame, when I am pacified toward thee for all that thou hast done, saith the Lord GOD.

+++

Read Be Careful Lest the Light in You Be Darkness, by John Piper.

"Christ is the glory we were made to see. His light alone will fill us and give the light of life and meaning to every part of our lives. And when that happens, we ourselves will shine and give off the rays of Christ. “If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, it will be wholly bright, as when a lamp with its rays gives you light.” "

"she can laugh at the days to come"

2009-07-16T13:05:00.005-04:00

Once again, after praying for a friend, I was convicted of something for myself. After graciously asking how she can be praying for me, I asked her the same. She asked that I pray that she will trust in the Lord, and not be anxious about the (near) future. So, as I was praying for her last night, I asked God to help her be a woman who can laugh at the days to come:

Proverbs 31:25 (NIV)

She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

I then followed that up by asking that the days ahead have no mastery over her. That those as-of-now empty days (at least, to her they are - not to God!) will be full of promise for her, and not to be anxious about what may come - to not worry that they will in some way disappoint, but to trust in what God is working out for her right now. There are many exciting things happening in her life, but it is definitely a time when she needs to trust God with everything!

But then again, shouldn't we all? All the time? Hence the turning around and praying this for myself! I do not want the future to have any mastery over me. I don't want to worry about what might (or might not) come. I want to rest in the hope that is Jesus Christ, that He is working all things for my good, and to His glory. After that, what more could I ask for?

Quiet Time : new hearts and a little sanctuary

2009-07-15T11:04:00.002-04:00

Ezekial 11:13-21 (KJV)

13And it came to pass, when I prophesied, that Pelatiah the son of Benaiah died. Then fell I down upon my face, and cried with a loud voice, and said, Ah Lord GOD! wilt thou make a full end of the remnant of Israel?

14Again the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,

15Son of man, thy brethren, even thy brethren, the men of thy kindred, and all the house of Israel wholly, are they unto whom the inhabitants of Jerusalem have said, Get you far from the LORD: unto us is this land given in possession.

16Therefore say, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Although I have cast them far off among the heathen, and although I have scattered them among the countries, yet will I be to them as a little sanctuary in the countries where they shall come.

17Therefore say, Thus saith the Lord GOD; I will even gather you from the people, and assemble you out of the countries where ye have been scattered, and I will give you the land of Israel.

18And they shall come thither, and they shall take away all the detestable things thereof and all the abominations thereof from thence.

19And I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh:

20That they may walk in my statutes, and keep mine ordinances, and do them: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God.

21But as for them whose heart walketh after the heart of their detestable things and their abominations, I will recompense their way upon their own heads, saith the Lord GOD.

Quiet Time : to cry aloud

2009-07-10T11:58:00.005-04:00

Main Entry: 1la·ment
Pronunciation: \lə-ˈment\
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English lementen, from Middle French & Latin; Middle French lamenter, from Latin lamentari, from lamentum, noun, lament
Date: 15th century
intransitive verb
: to mourn aloud : wail
transitive verb
1 : to express sorrow, mourning, or regret for often demonstratively : mourn
2 : to regret strongly
synonyms see deplore

I read Lamentations this morning, and just... wow...

It's a short book with just 5 chapters, so I went ahead and read the whole thing, because I had time... because I woke up early!

My study Bible states that although the author of this book is unknown, it's believed to be Jeremiah. After just finishing Jeremiah, I can certainly see that being so. The anguish he would have felt over the rebellion of Judah and the consequences of their sin (the destruction of Jerusalem) is clearly depicted in these moving poems. It is heartrenching, but includes a taste of hope.

Lamentations 3:19-25 (KJV)

19Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall.
20My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
21This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
22It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
23They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
24The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
25The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.

Last Sunday I went to the Old Testament core seminar at church, and we learned about Micah. The teacher read:

Micah 6:8 (NIV)

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

I thought further on that verse, and it reminded me of Lamentations 3. How God's mercies are new every morning, and that I must accept them humbly.

Lamentations 3:55-58 (KJV)

55I called upon thy name, O LORD, out of the low dungeon.
56Thou hast heard my voice: hide not thine ear at my breathing, at my cry.
57Thou drewest near in the day that I called upon thee: thou saidst, Fear not.
58O LORD, thou hast pleaded the causes of my soul; thou hast redeemed my life.

God's Faithfulness.

Lamentations 4:5 (KJV)

5They that did feed delicately are desolate in the streets: they that were brought up in scarlet embrace dunghills.

Thought this was an interesting verse. Click here to read a Matthew Henry commentary on Lamentation 4:1-12.

Daily Dose of Spurgeon : "... an irresistible mandate."

2009-07-08T09:30:00.003-04:00

July 7, Evening

Ezekiel 16:6
When I passed by thee, I said unto thee, Live.

Saved one, consider gratefully this mandate of mercy. Note that this fiat of God is majestic. In our text, we perceive a sinner with nothing in him but sin, expecting nothing but wrath; but the eternal Lord passes by in His glory; He looks. He pauses, and He pronounces the solitary but royal word, "Live." There speaks a God. Who but He could venture thus to deal with life and dispense it with a single syllable? Again, this fiat is manifold. When He saith "Live," it includes many things. Here is judicial life. The sinner is ready to be condemned, but the mighty One saith, "Live," and he rises pardoned and absolved. It is spiritual life. We knew not Jesus-our eyes could not see Christ, our ears could not hear His voice-Jehovah said "Live," and we were quickened who were dead in trespasses and sins. Moreover, it includes glory-life, which is the perfection of spiritual life. "I said unto thee, Live:" and that word rolls on through all the years of time till death comes, and in the midst of the shadows of death, the Lord's voice is still heard, "Live!" In the morning of the resurrection it is that self-same voice which is echoed by the arch-angel, "Live," and as holy spirits rise to heaven to be blest for ever in the glory of their God, it is in the power of this same word, "Live." Note again, that it is an irresistible mandate. Saul of Tarsus is on the road to Damascus to arrest the saints of the living God. A voice is heard from heaven and a light is seen above the brightness of the sun, and Saul is crying out, "Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?" This mandate is a mandate of free grace. When sinners are saved, it is only and solely because God will do it to magnify His free, unpurchased, unsought grace. Christians, see your position, debtors to grace; show your gratitude by earnest, Christlike lives, and as God has bidden you live, see to it that you live in earnest.

C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishing, 1997.

Quiet Time : finally... forgiveness!

2009-07-02T15:24:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how difficult it has been to read Jeremiah. Well, finally... forgiveness! So incredible, beautifully written:

Jeremiah 33 (KJV)

6Behold, I will bring it health and cure, and I will cure them, and will reveal unto them the abundance of peace and truth.

7And I will cause the captivity of Judah and the captivity of Israel to return, and will build them, as at the first.

8And I will cleanse them from all their iniquity, whereby they have sinned against me; and I will pardon all their iniquities, whereby they have sinned, and whereby they have transgressed against me.

9And it shall be to me a name of joy, a praise and an honour before all the nations of the earth, which shall hear all the good that I do unto them: and they shall fear and tremble for all the goodness and for all the prosperity that I procure unto it.

10Thus saith the LORD; Again there shall be heard in this place, which ye say shall be desolate without man and without beast, even in the cities of Judah, and in the streets of Jerusalem, that are desolate, without man, and without inhabitant, and without beast,

11The voice of joy, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride, the voice of them that shall say, Praise the LORD of hosts: for the LORD is good; for his mercy endureth for ever: and of them that shall bring the sacrifice of praise into the house of the LORD. For I will cause to return the captivity of the land, as at the first, saith the LORD.

emphasis mine ... this is just a sample, go read the rest! - only 26 verses :)

Quiet Time : "there is nothing to hard for thee"

2009-07-02T14:57:00.003-04:00

Wednesday, July 1 QT:

You know all my days
You govern my steps
Great is thy faithfulness
I'm too small - I'm overwhelmed
(blurb of thoughts)

Jeremiah 32:17 (KJV)

Ah Lord GOD! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee:

This is so cool, because that morning, I read Morning and Evening for the night before and it was on this verse! (yeah, totally didn't/couldn't have planned that).

"Would to God we had in the religion of these modern times a more potent infusion of this heroic faith in God. If we would venture more upon the naked promise of God, we should enter a world of wonders to which as yet we are strangers."

Jeremiah 32:33 (KJV)

And they have turned unto me the back, and not the face: though I taught them, rising up early and teaching them, yet they have not hearkened to receive instruction.

Note how the Lord rose "up early." Yeah... I haven't been waking up early, lately... :(

Jeremiah 32:38 (KJV)

And they shall be my people, and I will be their God:

This phrase keeps popping up! :)

Quiet Time : wrath

2009-06-18T16:58:00.007-04:00

I gotta say, reading Jeremiah has been a tad bit difficult. It is so much about God's wrath that I feel myself getting down; about my past and present sin, and how hopeless this world seems. I seriously find myself waiting for the "hope" part in the following verses/chapters, and they just don't come (at least not very often). Even when Jeremiah pleads for Judah/Jerusalem (the backsliders), the Lord continues describing His coming wrath. I then have to remind myself of the hope I have in Christ (good life lesson there, my friend!), and that eventually perks me up. However, it leaves such a burden on me concerning non-Christians; which actually is a good thing, and I know it's the Holy Spirit working on my heart to love them more.

Jeremiah 20:2 (KJV)

Then Pashur smote Jeremiah the prophet, and put him in the stocks that were in the high gate of Benjamin, which was by the house of the LORD.

Ryrie: smote, i.e., with forty lashes across the feet (cf Deut. 25:3; 2 Cor. 11:24). The stocks secured the feet, hands, and neck, bending the body almost double (cf 2 Chron. 16:10; Jer. 29:26). This exposed Jeremiah to public ridicule.

This really made me stop and think. The Lord asked this man to forsake marriage (including children, so don't think of this as some kind of crazy bachelor life) (Jer. 16:2), he wasn't to mourn (Jer. 16:5) or celebrate (Jer. 16:8). Jeremiah was a faithful servant of God, even when enduring things like the verse above. Amazing.

* I have no explanation for the picture above, except that I liked it, and wanted to add a picture... ;)

Daily Dose of Spurgeon : "obtain the hid treasure"

2009-06-10T16:07:00.004-04:00

June 9, Evening

John 5:39
Search the Scriptures.

The Greek word here rendered search signifies a strict, close, diligent, curious search, such as men make when they are seeking gold, or hunters when they are in earnest after game. We must not rest content with having given a superficial reading to a chapter or two, but with the candle of the Spirit we must deliberately seek out the hidden meaning of the word. Holy Scripture requires searching-much of it can only be learned by careful study. There is milk for babes, but also meat for strong men. The rabbis wisely say that a mountain of matter hangs upon every word, yea, upon every title of Scripture. Tertullian exclaims, "I adore the fulness of the Scriptures." No man who merely skims the book of God can profit thereby; we must dig and mine until we obtain the hid treasure. The door of the word only opens to the key of diligence. The Scriptures claim searching. They are the writings of God, bearing the divine stamp and imprimatur- who shall dare to treat them with levity? He who despises them despises the God who wrote them. God forbid that any of us should leave our Bibles to become swift witnesses against us in the great day of account. The word of God will repay searching. God does not bid us sift a mountain of chaff with here and there a grain of wheat in it, but the Bible is winnowed corn-we have but to open the granary door and find it. Scripture grows upon the student. It is full of surprises. Under the teaching of the Holy Spirit, to the searching eye it glows with splendour of revelation, like a vast temple paved with wrought gold, and roofed with rubies, emeralds, and all manner of gems. No merchandise like the merchandise of Scripture truth. Lastly, the Scriptures reveal Jesus: "They are they which testify of Me." No more powerful motive can be urged upon Bible readers than this: he who finds Jesus finds life, heaven, all things. Happy he who, searching his Bible, discovers his Saviour.

C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishing, 1997.

Quiet Time : backsliding

2009-06-08T15:56:00.005-04:00

Whoa boy. Started reading Jeremiah this morning. Prophetic, and of course mirroring my own sin in my life. That's the thing about the Bible (it being God's Holy Word)... According to the Ryrie Study Bible introduction, Jeremiah was a reluctant yet faithful prophet. And let me tell you, if you've ever been a backslider, then these verses will pierce your heart! However, as I was reading this, it became clear to me how I am still prone to backslide, because I am deceived by my own heart and this fallen world. I praise God for His mercy - I thank Him for keeping me - I pray I never stray again.

Jeremiah 2:11 (KJV)

Hath a nation changed their gods, which are yet no gods? but my people have changed their glory for that which doth not profit.

Idolatry.

Jeremiah 2:21-25 (KJV)

21Yet I had planted thee a noble vine, wholly a right seed: how then art thou turned into the degenerate plant of a strange vine unto me?
22For though thou wash thee with nitre, and take thee much soap, yet thine iniquity is marked before me, saith the Lord GOD.
23How canst thou say, I am not polluted, I have not gone after Baalim? see thy way in the valley, know what thou hast done: thou art a swift dromedary traversing her ways;
24A wild ass used to the wilderness, that snuffeth up the wind at her pleasure; in her occasion who can turn her away? all they that seek her will not weary themselves; in her month they shall find her.
25Withhold thy foot from being unshod, and thy throat from thirst: but thou saidst, There is no hope: no; for I have loved strangers, and after them will I go.

Backsliding.

Jeremiah 2:34 (KJV)

Also in thy skirts is found the blood of the souls of the poor innocents: I have not found it by secret search, but upon all these.

Just found this interesting. Click here for a commentary.

Jeremiah 3:14-15 (KJV)

14Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion:
15And I will give you pastors according to mine heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding.

I'm grateful for where God has brought me; literally and spiritually. :)

Quiet Time : "beauty for ashes"

2009-06-05T13:11:00.006-04:00

Isaiah 58:6 (KJV)

Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?

Isaiah 58:11 (KJV)

And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.

Faithful.

Isaiah 58:13-14 (KJV)

13If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the LORD, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:
14Then shalt thou delight thyself in the LORD; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it.

"Not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words" really stuck out to me; then conversely what we should delight in and why.

Isaiah 59:9-10 (KJV)

9Therefore is judgment far from us, neither doth justice overtake us: we wait for light, but behold obscurity; for brightness, but we walk in darkness.
10We grope for the wall like the blind, and we grope as if we had no eyes: we stumble at noon day as in the night; we are in desolate places as dead men.

I like light-dark verses.

Isaiah 59:21 (KJV)

As for me, this is my covenant with them, saith the LORD; My spirit that is upon thee, and my words which I have put in thy mouth, shall not depart out of thy mouth, nor out of the mouth of thy seed, nor out of the mouth of thy seed's seed, saith the LORD, from henceforth and for ever.

He does not change! See James 1:17.

Isaiah 61:3 (KJV)

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

Our good for His glory.

Isaiah 61:10 (KJV)

I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.

(this is now hanging on my mirror in the form of post-its)

Isaiah 62:4 (KJV)

Thou shalt no more be termed Forsaken; neither shall thy land any more be termed Desolate: but thou shalt be called Hephzibah, and thy land Beulah: for the LORD delighteth in thee, and thy land shall be married.

Ryrie Study Bible: Hephzibah means "my delight is in her," and Beulah means "married."

Isaiah 64:4 (KJV)

For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him.

See I Corinthians 2:9.

Isaiah 64:8 (KJV)

But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.

See Isaiah 29:16 and 45:9.

Quite Time : awesome love

2009-06-04T16:30:00.002-04:00

Isaiah 55:8-9 (KJV)

8For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
9For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Ryrie Study Bible: God's love stems from a plan infinitely superior to anything man could have devised.

Isaiah 55:10-13 (KJV)

10For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
11So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
12For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
13Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the LORD for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.

That's just awesome :)

Quiet Time : Beautiful Savior

2009-06-04T16:10:00.002-04:00

Isaiah 53 (KJV)

1Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed?

2For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.

3He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

6All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

7He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.

8He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.

9And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth.

10Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.

11He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.

12Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

Quiet Time : glory and majesty

2009-06-02T10:27:00.004-04:00

Isaiah 47:8 (KJV) reminds me of the woman in Revelation 17.

Isaiah 48:9 - 11 (KJV)

9For my name's sake will I defer mine anger, and for my praise will I refrain for thee, that I cut thee not off.
10Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.
11For mine own sake, even for mine own sake, will I do it: for how should my name be polluted? and I will not give my glory unto another. (emphasis mine)

Soli Deo Gloria. In Christ Alone. None other. Also speaks to election, and how it is not out of anything from our worth that saves us. It is all God.

Isaiah 48:16 (KJV)

Come ye near unto me, hear ye this; I have not spoken in secret from the beginning; from the time that it was, there am I: and now the Lord GOD, and his Spirit, hath sent me. (emphasis mine)

I forgot to copy the study Bible note, but this refers to the Trinity with the preincarnate Christ. Awesome.

Daily Dose of Spurgeon : "restore believers to joy"

2009-05-29T10:57:00.003-04:00

May 28, Evening

Lamentations 3:21
This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.

Memory is frequently the bondslave of despondency. Despairing minds call to remembrance every dark foreboding in the past, and dilate upon every gloomy feature in the present; thus memory, clothed in sackcloth, presents to the mind a cup of mingled gall and wormwood. There is, however, no necessity for this. Wisdom can readily transform memory into an angel of comfort. That same recollection which in its left hand brings so many gloomy omens, may be trained to bear in its right a wealth of hopeful signs. She need not wear a crown of iron, she may encircle her brow with a fillet of gold, all spangled with stars. Thus it was in Jeremiah's experience: in the previous verse memory had brought him to deep humiliation of soul: "My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me"; and now this same memory restored him to life and comfort. "This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope." Like a two-edged sword, his memory first killed his pride with one edge, and then slew his despair with the other. As a general principle, if we would exercise our memories more wisely, we might, in our very darkest distress, strike a match which would instantaneously kindle the lamp of comfort. There is no need for God to create a new thing upon the earth in order to restore believers to joy; if they would prayerfully rake the ashes of the past, they would find light for the present; and if they would turn to the book of truth and the throne of grace, their candle would soon shine as aforetime. Be it ours to remember the lovingkindness of the Lord, and to rehearse His deeds of grace. Let us open the volume of recollection which is so richly illuminated with memorials of mercy, and we shall soon be happy. Thus memory may be, as Coleridge calls it, "the bosom-spring of joy," and when the Divine Comforter bends it to His service, it may be chief among earthly comforters.

C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishing, 1997.

Quiet Time : patience.teaching.idols

2009-05-27T10:50:00.011-04:00

Isaiah 30:18 (KJV)

15For thus saith the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not.
16But ye said, No; for we will flee upon horses; therefore shall ye flee: and, We will ride upon the swift; therefore shall they that pursue you be swift.
17One thousand shall flee at the rebuke of one; at the rebuke of five shall ye flee: till ye be left as a beacon upon the top of a mountain, and as an ensign on an hill.
18And therefore will the LORD wait, that he may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you: for the LORD is a God of judgment: blessed are all they that wait for him.

I love this passage, because it shows God's patience for His children. No matter how much we turn from Him, if He ordains it, we will REturn to Him. He is ETERNALLY patient! :) Just think about it, who is patient like that?!?

Isaiah 30:20-21 (KJV)

20And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not thy teachers be removed into a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy teachers:
21And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.

Ryrie note: teachers. Better, Teacher, referring to God. On God the teacher in the Millennium, see Isaiah 2:3.

"On that day when freed from sinning" - His teaching of us will be uninterrupted by our sin.

Isaiah 31:7 (KJV)

For in that day every man shall cast away his idols of silver, and his idols of gold, which your own hands have made unto you for a sin.

Idols. Also, Isaiah 2:8, Isaiah 2:17-18, Isaiah 30:22. Thank GOODNESS for the day when we will be free from sin, and from the pesky idols that deceive our hearts!

+++++

Also, check out Stuff Christian's Like post for today, Wishing being a Christian meant a pain free life.

Quiet Time : "faithfulness and truth"

2009-05-18T11:55:00.006-04:00

Isaiah 25:1 (KJV)

O Lord, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.

Before The Throne Of God Above

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.

Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there the risen Lamb,
My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
King of glory and of grace,

One in Himself I cannot die.
My soul is purchased by His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God!

"The lyrics, by Charitie Lees Bancroft (1841-1923), are a brilliant combination of Gospel-centered theology with personal application, set to a beautiful and timeless melody written by Vikki Cook." Click here to listen to and read about the song.

Quiet Time : "the whole earth is full of his glory"

2009-05-07T16:00:00.003-04:00

Tuesday

Isaiah 3:12 (KJV)

12As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.

Me: this made me think of the fall (Gen. 3), and how God's natural order regarding gender was disrupted. This warns of the danger of twisting God's will.

Isaiah 3:16-26 (KJV)

16Moreover the LORD saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet:
17Therefore the LORD will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the LORD will discover their secret parts.
18In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon,
19The chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers,
20The bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings,
21The rings, and nose jewels,
22The changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping pins,
23The glasses, and the fine linen, and the hoods, and the vails.
24And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and burning instead of beauty.
25Thy men shall fall by the sword, and thy mighty in the war.
26And her gates shall lament and mourn; and she being desolate shall sit upon the ground.

Ryrie: The fashionable women, seeking to lure other women's husbands with their imported luxurious dress, would soon be destitute (cf. 1 Peter 3:3-4)

Me: Even if a man is single, he is PROBABLY going to marry, and that means that he is someone else's husband - he will be at some point - and that should be honored. I know I read that somewhere - to treat all men as someone else's husband (if they are single, and obviously if they are married)... Also, these verses really stood out to me a few days ago, and TODAY I read the following post from Girls Gone Wise blog: Too Sexy For My Love (hint, she talks about these verses).

Isaiah 4:1 (KJV)

And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.

Ryrie: Wars will slaughter so many men that in that day (ultimately the tribulation days), women will be willing to be self-supporting if only they can be married and escape the reproach of being childless.

Me: nowadays there is no "reproach of being childless." Today's society has gone so far to the other extreme that it condones the murder of innocent, unborn children and labels it as "equal right," or "leveling the playing field" with men. The result - murder for the sake of "equality." Ugh. I don't want to be equal to a man. I don't have to be to have a sense of self-worth.

+++++

Wednesday

Isaiah 5:6 (KJV)

And I will lay it waste: it shall not be pruned, nor digged; but there shall come up briers and thorns: I will also command the clouds that they rain no rain upon it.

Me: this is what happens with rebellion (read the prior verses!).

Isaiah 5:20 (KJV)

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

Isaiah 5:30 (KJV)

And in that day they shall roar against them like the roaring of the sea: and if one look unto the land, behold darkness and sorrow, and the light is darkened in the heavens thereof.

Me: verses 20 and 30 show the difference between light and dark (good and evil), and the danger of mistaking one for another.

Isaiah 6:3 (KJV)

And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory.

Ryrie: Holy means separate from all that is sinful and immoral. The threefold repetition means tha God is uniquely holy.

Me: first of all, this made me think of Revelation 4:8! Also, THREEFOLD REPETITION - look back at the Song of Solomon posts... ;)

Quiet Time : Prophesy

2009-05-07T15:12:00.000-04:00

I just want to start with - it is believed that Isaiah was martyred by being cut in half inside a hollow log. This is serious business, my friends. He was seen as a real threat.

My main thoughts about Isaiah so far (which I started reading Monday morning) are that God revealed things to Isaiah in a multi-layered way. He was predicting events that would occur in the near future (for him), the fall of Judah as a nation (because of it's sins against God). But also, more importantly, he was prophesizing about the Messiah to come, in the line of Judah; Jesus Christ. That is amazing.

Isaiah 1:18-20 (KJV)

18Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
19If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land:
20But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it.

Me: belief vs. unbelief. Striking.

Isaiah 2:2-3 (KJV) CSL

2And it shall come to pass in the last days, that the mountain of the LORD's house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills; and all nations shall flow unto it.
3And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths: for out of Zion shall go forth the law, and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.

Me: this reminded me of the scene in The Great Divorce, when the narrator decides to go forward. (I'm being cryptic here, because I see that book as an excellent narrative on sin, but I don't believe it to be a true picture of what Heaven is like - and also, because I don't want to ruin it for you if you've never read it!).

Isaiah 2:8 (KJV)

Their land also is full of idols; they worship the work of their own hands, that which their own fingers have made:

Me: The sin of worshiping the created (idolatry), rather than the Creator of ALL things.

Isaiah 2:10, 19, 21 (KJV)

10Enter into the rock, and hide thee in the dust, for fear of the LORD, and for the glory of his majesty.

19And they shall go into the holes of the rocks, and into the caves of the earth, for fear of the LORD, and for the glory of his majesty, when he ariseth to shake terribly the earth.

21To go into the clefts of the rocks, and into the tops of the ragged rocks, for fear of the LORD, and for the glory of his majesty, when he ariseth to shake terribly the earth.

Me: 3 verses on fearing God... and the glory of His majesty! (repeated phrases = important thought to get across!).

Quiet Time : "set me as a seal"

2009-05-07T12:54:00.003-04:00

I finished up Song of Solomon last Thursday...

Song of Solomon 7 (KJV)

Read the whole chapter. Solomon is enraptured by his wife physically, most notable to me is her prominent nose. Made me think about our culture's idea of beauty; that in marriage it shouldn't be that way. Beauty is unique.

Song of Solomon 8:4 (KJV)

I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, until he please.

Me: There it is, for the THIRD time! Yes, this is very important!!!!! Wait, be patient, TRUST IN THE LORD.

Song of Solomon 8:6 (KJV)

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.

Ryrie Study Bible note: as a seal. I.e., like a precious possession. See note on Gen. 38:18. She wants to be her husband's most treasured possession.

Me: this verse makes me sigh... Makes me want to study in the Bible anywhere there is a seal. Most importantly, that we are sealed by God. (II Cor. 1:22, Eph. 1:13, 4:30, Tim. 2:19, etc.). Also, wish I would have read that note on Gen 38 above - it's when Tamar tricked Judah by dressing like a harlot! When she asked him for symbols of his affection (i.e. proof of their union).

Song of Solomon 8:7 (KJV)

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

Ryrie: True love cannot be quenched, nor bought. To attempt to buy it is to despise it.

Me: *sigh* again...

Song of Solomon 8:8-9 (KJV)

8We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?
9If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will inclose her with boards of cedar.

Ryrie: The Shulammite recalls her brothers' attitude toward her when she was young. If she would resist temptation (a wall) they would reward her (silver), but if she were loose (a door) they would be strict with her (inclose her with boards of cedar). She turned out virtuous (v. 10).

Song of Solomon 8:14 (KJV)

Make haste, my beloved, and be thou like to a roe or to a young hart upon the mountains of spices.

Ryrie: As separated lovers long to be reunited, so the church longs to see her Bridegroom (Rev. 22:20). (4:7-no spot).

Me: Ephesians 5, and the mystery of Christ's relationship with the church paralleled with the relationship between husband and wife. How the longing for a spouse is like the longing for Heaven - when we will be reunited with Christ. This brings to mind Song of Solomon 4:7, the spotless bride. Our Saviour, Jesus Christ, was the spotless lamb, without sin.

Daily Dose of Spurgeon : "we commit two evils"

2009-05-04T13:06:00.003-04:00

May 4, Morning

Jeremiah 16:20
Shall a man make gods unto himself, and they are no gods.

One great besetting sin of ancient Israel was idolatry, and the spiritual Israel are vexed with a tendency to the same folly. Remphan's star shines no longer, and the women weep no more for Tammuz, but Mammon still intrudes his golden calf, and the shrines of pride are not forsaken. Self in various forms struggles to subdue the chosen ones under its dominion, and the flesh sets up its altars wherever it can find space for them. Favourite children are often the cause of much sin in believers; the Lord is grieved when He sees us doting upon them above measure; they will live to be as great a curse to us as Absalom was to David, or they will be taken from us to leave our homes desolate. If Christians desire to grow thorns to stuff their sleepless pillows, let them dote on their dear ones. It is truly said that "they are no gods," for the objects of our foolish love are very doubtful blessings, the solace which they yield us now is dangerous, and the help which they can give us in the hour of trouble is little indeed. Why, then, are we so bewitched with vanities? We pity the poor heathen who adore a god of stone, and yet worship a god of gold. Where is the vast superiority between a god of flesh and one of wood? The principle, the sin, the folly is the same in either case, only that in ours the crime is more aggravated because we have more light, and sin in the face of it. The heathen bows to a false deity, but the true God he has never known; we commit two evils, inasmuch as we forsake the living God and turn unto idols. May the Lord purge us all from this grievous iniquity!

"The dearest idol I have known,
Whate'er that idol be;
Help me to tear it from thy throne,
And worship only thee."

breathless

2009-04-30T22:02:00.007-04:00

Today, God left me breathless

The only way I can describe it is the He showed me how much HE has changed me. Words cannot describe how amazing this feels.

East to West

Casting Crowns

Here I am Lord and I'm drowning

In Your sea of forgetfulness

The chains of yesterday surround me

I yearn for peace and rest

I don't want to end up

Where You found me

And it echoes in my mind

Keeps me awake tonight

I know You've cast my sins as far

As the East is from the West

And I stand before You now

As though I've never sinned

But today I feel like

I'm just one mistake away

From You leaving me this way

Jesus can You show me

Just how far the East is from the West

Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been

Come rising up in me again

In the arms of Your Mercy I find rest

Cause you know just how far

The East is from the West

From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day the war begins

Endless reminding of my sin

Time and time again

Your Truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in

Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away

From You leaving me this way

Jesus can you show me

Just how far the East is from the West

Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been

Come rising up in me again

In the arms of Your Mercy I find rest

Cause You know just how far the East is from the West

From one scarred hand to the other

I know You've washed me white

Turned my darkness into light

I need Your Peace to get me through

To get me through this night

I can't live by what I feel

But by the Truth Your Word reveals

I'm not holding on to You

But You're holding on to me

You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far

The East is from the West

I don't have to see the man I've been

Come rising up in me again

In the arms of Your Mercy I find rest

(The arms of Your Mercy I find rest)

Cause You know just how far the East is from the West

From one scarred hand to the other (x2)

(Just how far, the East is from the West) (x3)

From one scarred hand to the other

+++

"Have you ever had a gallop on a horse? Think of that; and then take away the heavy noise of the hoofs and the jingle of the harness and imagine instead the almost noiseless padding of the great paws. Then imagine instead of the black or grey or chestnut back of the horse the soft roughness of golden fur, and the mane flying back in the wind. And then imagine you are going about twice as fast as the fastest racehorse. But this is a mount that doesn't need to be guided and never grows tired. He rushes on and on, never missing his footing, never hesitating..."

C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe

"Both the children were looking up into the Lion's face as he spoke these words. And all at once (they never knew exactly how it happened) the face seemed to be a sea of tossing gold in which they were floating, and such a sweetness and power rolled about them and over them and entered into them that they felt they had never really been happy or wise or good, or even alive and awake, before. And the memory of that moment stayed with them always, so that as long as they both lived, if they were ever sad or afraid or angry, the thought of all that golden goodness, and the feeling that it was still there, quite close, just around some corner or just behind some door, would come back and make them sure, deep down inside, that all is well."

C.S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew

Quiet Time : Romantic~Forgiveness

2009-04-30T14:30:00.005-04:00

(from yesterday's Quiet Time)

Song of Solomon, Chapters 4-6, Honeymoon and Newlyweds

Here are the basic thoughts I had about these chapters:

The honeymoon starts with the husband praising his wife's beauty. Shortly after, she rebuffs him for some reason or other, panics, drama ensues by way of a dream, then they make up. He forgives her, and uses the same praises that he did during the honeymoon to describe her.

I have never been married, but I think I can see where a marriage might turn sour. Reality sets in, there are misunderstandings, and one or both party wants out. The lesson to be learned here (I think), is that the person you marry may seem to change from who(m?) you fell in love with, but as long as you can forgive that person, and remember why you fell in love with them in the first place, then any problem can be overcome. It is beneficial when both parties are Christians, hence the argument to be similarly yoked* (II Corinthians 6:14), because when one has deep knowledge of how much s/he has been forgiven through Christ, it is much easier to forgive others (Matthew 6:14, Matthew 18:21-22). It's important to note that the bride does feel bad for rebuffing her husband, and therefore exhibits a contrite heart. So both parties are intimately involved in this (in a way as a single woman, I just can't comprehend, but can certainly practice when faced with conflict!).

* I've noticed when the term 'yoke' comes into play in the Bible, it's usually depicted as a heavy burden, or sin. Brings to mind a picture of two sinners burdened by their sinful ways, together. Not so romantic, huh? Makes me think of the book, When Sinners Say "I Do" which I haven't read, but the title says it all.

Also, another thought I had while reading these chapters - of all the people to take marital counsel from... Solomon!? At the writing of this poem, he had 140 wives! (Song of Solomon 6:8), and later had at least 1000 wives and concubines (I Kings 11:3). I think this just goes to show how the Bible uses unexpected people as sources of wisdom. Yes, God uses sinners to teach us in the Bible, He has to, because we all have sinned and fallen short! (Romans 3:23). So you see, He really has no alternative in the matter.

+++++

I gotta admit, I was tempted to read my ESV Study Bible's notes on this, and I may still - the imagery is just wild!

a worm and a lesson

2009-04-29T15:46:00.004-04:00

So, today I read the following post on Between Two Worlds; David Sunday: Sermons on Hell. This seemed especially timely (Providential?), because of something I observed yesterday...

As I was walking to work yesterday morning, I noticed a stretch of sidewalk almost covered with dead worms. You know, like when they get tricked into coming out of the ground with rain, then get stuck on concrete, and dry up? (I know, gross).

I noticed a worm that was still alive and struggling. I reached down, picked it up, and threw it in the grass. I had the thought that a lot of people would think that is weird and/or gross. But then I had the thought "I'm willing to pick up a worm and throw it in the grass - to potentially save it's life - yet I'm so very timid in sharing the Gospel - which, if God wills it, can save a fellow human being from eternal damnation!"

Here's just a hint from the post linked above:

"...The imagery of the undying worm and the unquenchable fire derives..."

+++++

Check this out:

Tim Challies, on the importance of accountability, in Escaping Anonymity.

Quiet Time : ahh, the romance

2009-04-28T16:13:00.010-04:00

My delightful journey of reading the Bible straight through has come to a most abrupt change in theme. I am now reading Song of Solomon. Ahh the passion, the romance, the sheer imagery..
It's a short book, with short chapters, so this morning I read the courtship (and wedding day) section, chapters 1-3.

One thing I noticed is that Christian women are charged not to awaken love TWICE so far. Verses 2:7 and 3:5. Repetition in the Bible usually means that a point is being made. Anything important can't be said enough. Funny how that verse (either one, they are pretty much the same) came to my mind the other day, while I was thinking about patience -click here to read about it.

Song of Solomon 1:17 (KJV)

Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions?

Ryrie: Though the Shulammite longed to meet Solomon, she did not want to chase him as one that turneth aside (better, like a veiled woman; i.e. like a prostitute).

Song of Solomon 1:8 (KJV)

If thou know not, O thou fairest among women, go thy way forth by the footsteps of the flock, and feed thy kids beside the shepherds' tents.

Ryrie: If you want to know where your lover is, join other shephards in the fields.

If you want to find your (Lord Willing) husband, go to church (or be around fellow Christians)! :)

Song of Solomon 2:3 (KJV)

As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Ryrie: Just as an apple tree would be uncommon, so was finding Solomon.

Song of Solomon 2:12 (KJV)

The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;

Ryrie: turtle = turtledove. Solomon is inviting the Shulammite outside to enjoy a beautiful spring day. Similarly, God invites His people to share the delights of His company (v. 13).

Song of Solomon 2:13 (KJV)

The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.

(green emphasis mine :) )

Quiet Time : Futility and Duty

2009-04-28T14:47:00.011-04:00

I have finished reading Ecclesiastes, and started Song of Solomon this morning.

I found Ecclesiastes to seem almost like an extension of Proverbs, probably due to the writing style of Solomon. Of course, the difference is that Ecclesiastes is about the meaningless of life... but it's not a downer, although guess I just made it sound like it is!

I wrote down many verses to post, but didn't get around to it. So here are most of them:

Ecclesiastes 1:10-11 (KJV)

10Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us.
11There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.

This reminded me about how much we think we are smarter than previous generations.

Ecclesiastes 1:13 (KJV)

Then I saw that wisdom excelleth folly, as far as light excelleth darkness.

Notice the juxtoposition between wisdom/light and folly/darkness. (compare with John 8:12 use of light and dark, with Christ. Also, Job 30:26, when good and evil are defined as light and dark, as in sin - there are many more examples of these... lots of light and dark used in Job).

Ecclesiastes 3:11 (KJV)

He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

Ecclesiastes 5:18-20 (KJV). Ryrie: Man may overcome his frustrations over the futility of life by enjoying life and being occupied with God's good gifts.

Ecclesiastes 6:9 (KJV)

Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the desire: this is also vanity and vexation of spirit.

Ryrie: It is better to enjoy present good than to long for future desires. sight of the eyes. What the eyes see.

Ecclesiastes 7:10 (KJV)

Say not thou, What is the cause that the former days were better than these? for thou dost not enquire wisely concerning this.

Opposite of what 1:10-11 said, more about being nostalgic than haughty.

Ecclesiastes 8:3-8 (KJV) Ryrie: When we avoid God's plan, we don't fit well in it - aren't blessed - because it is a fixed plan.

Ecclesiastes 8:12 (KJV)

Though a sinner do evil an hundred times, and his days be prolonged, yet surely I know that it shall be well with them that fear God, which fear before him:Ryrie: Believer v. unbeliever. Notice sinner v. those who fear God. Being a Christian doesn't mean that one ceases to be a sinner. It means that one fears God.

Ecclesiastes 9:1 (KJV)

For all this I considered in my heart even to declare all this, that the righteous, and the wise, and their works, are in the hand of God: no man knoweth either love or hatred by all that is before them.

Ryrie: Many events are beyond the control of men. Every possible circumstance can befall man, but whether faced with love (happy circumstances), or hate (unhappy circumstances), God has arranged what will take place in one's life.

Ecclesiastes 11:5 (KJV)

As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit, nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child: even so thou knowest not the works of God who maketh all.

Pro-life.

Ecclesiastes 11:10 (KJV)

Therefore remove sorrow from thy heart, and put away evil from thy flesh: for childhood and youth are vanity.

Ecclesiastes 12:11 (KJV)

The words of the wise are as goads, and as nails fastened by the masters of assemblies, which are given from one shepherd.

Ryrie: Solomon's words are like goads to prod us and nails to anchor us. The reference to the one shephard confirms the fact that the teaching of Solomon is God-given.

Ecclesiastes 12:12 (KJV)

And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh.

Ryrie: A warning against excessive devotion to secular literature.

(Just found that last one interesting... )

But really, here is the conclusion to the book:

Ecclesiastes 12:13 (KJV)

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.

CSL : "give this delight perfect expression"

2009-04-28T10:13:00.009-04:00

"If it were possible for a created soul fully (I mean, up to the full measure conceivable in a finite being) to "appreciate", that is to love and delight in, the worthiest object of all, and simultaneously at every moment to give this delight perfect expression, then that soul would be in supreme beautitude."

C.S. Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

at just the right time

2009-04-24T16:06:00.004-04:00

Written on 18 April 2009

I was reflecting further on the lyrics to It Is Well:

That Christ has regarded my helpless estate/And hath shed his own blood for my soul.

"Has regarded my helpless estate" really stood out to me, because it's so embodies the truth. Although Christ lived and died on this earth way before I was born, He knew MY sins (the ones that have obviously occurred in the past 32 years) even before time began. In other words, Christ didn't only know the sins that had occurred in/up the time of the cross. He knew all sin. He presently knows all sin (because of the resurrection... He is alive now). And not only did He know of my sin, He knew of all the sin that had happened, and was to come. He felt the full wrath of all that sin on the cross. That is truly amazing.

God isn't bound by time like we are. Unlike us, He has the ability to know what is going to happen before it actually occurs.

+++

Two days ago (16 April), I read Genesis 2:20-25 with new eyes. When I read that God caused Adam to go into a deep sleep (2:21), I thought - "my husband* is in a deep sleep." Then reading that God made woman (2:22), and brought her to the man, I thought - "God will bring me to my husband. We both must wait on Him."

Yesterday (17 April), a verse from the Song of Solomon came to mind:

Song of Solomon 2:7 (NIV)

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.

We as women are not to rush this process, even to the point of trying to "force" God with our impatience. (always remember, you can't force Him!)

I think this all came to mind, because a friend of mine is being pursued by a godly man. When I asked her how I can be praying for her, she simply said for patience. As I've been praying for her, I've been asking that she trust in God's timing. That it may seem as thought it's all about the guy's timing (and in a way it is), but that ultimately it is God's timing. If anything happens, then it will at just the right time.

I'm not sure if that is what she meant, but that is how the prayer turned out. And it's funny, because I turned around and prayed the same for myself! :)

*If it is in God's plan for me to be married, then he is alive and kicking (or sleeping) as I type!

airplane musing ~ moments of clarity

2009-04-15T21:42:00.009-04:00

.:this is an attempt at description:.

Two Fridays ago I woke up in a mood. It is a difficult-to-explain-mood, but the only way I could think to describe it was indignant. Who uses that word to describe their mood for the day. I had the specific thought, "I'm going to have an indignant day today." I wasn't even sure if I was using it correctly, but it sure did seem to make sense at the time. And it's not like I have many occassions to use such a word... indignant.

All I could do was pray that God would help me with it, because it was a weird way to feel. And that day turned out to be pretty good, all things considered. But that mood was pervasive; it just wouldn't let up.

It all started to make sense a few days later, when I was greeted with an excruciating migraine. Terrible pain. Incapacitated. But also interesting, because I didn't get too down about it. I didn't cry (too much), and dwell on how awful I felt, how badly my head hurt. I just gave it to God. I told Him that I understand His will, and that it won't last forever. It's odd to type this, but I was peaceful. I had a kind of this-too-shall-pass mentality. (that was a small group prayer request, and I think it was answered!)

Fast forward to the following Thursday. I was headed for the airport, and just couldn't get over the fact that I was still in a weird mood. My roommate drove me to the airport, and it was like I couldn't think of anything to say - and I was annoyed by that.

I arrived at my gate without any real delays, and about the time we were supposed to board, it was announced that there was a mechanical delay, and that it would be 45 minutes until we even had an update. WHAT?!? It really upset me, but I knew there was nothing I could do about it. I just prayed a quick prayer that everything would turn out okay, and that I would get to Arkansas as scheduled. Then not 10 minutes later, they announced we were boarding. (later, my sister-in-law told me that she had my two little nephews pray that the plane wouldn't be delayed, either).

.:it was simply a few days of taking disappointments, and giving them to God - right away, no delay, no over-analyzing - just simply letting go:.

As I waited to board the plane, I had the thought:

How easily I believe the lie that if I'm not blessed in the way that I want to be, then I'm not blessed at all.

While flying into Chicago, the man next to me asked, "is that Lake Michigan"with amazement in his voice. I said yes, it is. The view of it was spectacular; it seems never-ending. As I was flying out of Chicago, I got a beautiful glimpse of the Chicago skyline with the lake behind it, and started to think about expanses. How I don't see views of things like Lake Michigan every day, and how great would it be to SEE EXPANSES MORE OFTEN. To be reminded of the majesty that God created. I don't go outside of a 5-10 block radius most days.

Oh how I wish I could hold on to moments of clarity such as these! God was showing me how big He is. No, how really BIG He is. He is much bigger than any of my thoughts; real or perceived problems... everything. It's funny how head knowledge turns to heart knowledge, and then how heart knowledge becomes deeper knowledge... and on and on and on.

It was on the INDIGNANT DAY that I read Proverbs 31 (NIV). I just couldn't think of anything to write about it. It was really aggravating me. I read three different versions (KJV, NIV, ESV), and just couldn't figure out what my problem was. It's not like I haven't read it before...

I decided to read Proverbs 31 on the plane, and realized why I had such a hard time with it. I coudn't see myself in the Proverbs 31 woman. Even with the comforting note in my ESV Study Bible about Christian women can be dishearted by this; how it is an ideal, and not possible to meet in every way. My mind rested on verse 25:

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

It was then that I realized that God is making me into that woman. THANK YOU.

Two songs that I listened to over and over that day were Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing and Before the Throne of God Above. I was listening to the T4G 2008 music, and crying like a baby! However, one line of lyric from It is Well stuck in my head.

Christ has regarded my helpless estate/and has shed His own blood for my soul

He regards my helpless estate. He knows my helpless estate. He is sovereign over my helpless estate. He died on the cross for my helpless estate. He is amazing.

+++++

Tonight, this verse took on a whole new meaning for me:

I Corinthians 2:9 (NIV)

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"

+++++

I read this on boundless today, and just loved it: Love to Tell.

Excerpt:

"Sometimes, we just don't want to hear about God's love. Sometimes, we don't just want to talk about it. Why do we shy away from this topic?
Perhaps we are afraid of what we'll find: a love that is fuzzy, undiscriminating, and thus meaningless. Or a love that's demanding and impossible to please. Will His pursuit of me will be as conditional, unpredictable and wavering as my love for Him?"

DOUBTING THOMAS

2009-04-02T12:03:00.005-04:00

I just read a great post by John Piper, I Will Never Believe. It's a retelling of Thomas, and how he doubted that Christ had risen; basically he had to see it to believe it. It's such a great reminder of God's Sovereignty in context of the unbelief of family and friends.

Quote: "Be patient and gracious with the skeptics in your life. We shouldn’t assume their outward confidence accurately reflects their inward condition. Keep praying for them and share what seems helpful. Keep confidently and humbly following Jesus. And trust his timing. He knows best how and when to reveal himself to them."

Praise God for the work He is doing in the hearts of those He loves! This was a great reminder for me that - all of the sometimes gut-wrenching, yet exhilarating heartwork - He has and is doing in me... of course He is doing for others! And the best thing I can do (besides share the Gospel) is to pray that He does that for those that I love.

Quiet Time : even more much needed wisdom!

2009-03-30T12:43:00.008-04:00

Okay, so here is basically a list of other verses I found interesting (although this certainly isn't all of them, by far). Just one more chapter to go, then on to Ecclesiastes!

Proverbs 18 (KJV)

4The words of a man's mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.

Note: deep waters. i.e., obscure, hidden. Flowing brook. i.e., clear. Although some men's words are obscure. Others are sources of wisdom and convey the clear truth.

8The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.

Note: wounds...go down. Better, morsels greedily swallowed. Hearing gossip, like eating a delicacy, gives you something others do not have, and it is remembered in the inmost parts.

14The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?

Note: sustain his infirmity. Better, endure his sickness. wounded=broken.

20A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled.
21Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Note: A man's tongue can yield satisfaction, life, or death. Those who are prone to use the tongue must take the consequences of their words.

Proverbs 19 (KJV)

3The foolishness of man perverteth his way: and his heart fretteth against the LORD.

Note: The foolish man blames the Lord for failures he has brought upon himself.

21There are many devices in a man's heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.

23The fear of the LORD tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil.

Proverbs 20 (KJV)

9Who can say, I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin?

Note: The implied answer is "nobody," thus teaching the impossibility of sinless perfection.

13Love not sleep, lest thou come to poverty; open thine eyes, and thou shalt be satisfied with bread.

Me: !!!!!

24Man's goings are of the LORD; how can a man then understand his own way?

Note: God's sovereignty over man's ways is beyond our full comprehension.

Me: What I assume is probably wrong; especially someone else's motives, or even my own!

27The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts of the belly.

Note: The conscience searches the inner part of man to convict of sin.

Proverbs 21 (KJV)

2Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts.

21He that followeth after righteousness and mercy findeth life, righteousness, and honour.

30There is no wisdom nor understanding nor counsel against the LORD.
31The horse is prepared against the day of battle: but safety is of the LORD.

Note: Do not fight against the Lord, and, if you want safety (victory), do not fight without Him.

Proverbs 23 (KJV)

18For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off.

Note: an end. Better, a future. Don't be unduly burdened by the problems of the present, but allow a proper prospective on the future to help you maintain a buoyant attitude in the present.

Matthew Henry commentary: Under troubles we are apt to despair of relief. But be of good courage, and God shall strengthen thy heart.

Proverbs 24 (KJV)

10If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.

Matthew Henry commentary: Under troubles we are apt to despair of relief. But be of good courage, and God shall strengthen thy heart.

13My son, eat thou honey, because it is good; and the honeycomb, which is sweet to thy taste:
14So shall the knowledge of wisdom be unto thy soul: when thou hast found it, then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off.

Proverbs 25 (KJV)

14Whoso boasteth himself of a false gift is like clouds and wind without rain.

Note: The gift of the braggart does not compare with what he promised.

20As he that taketh away a garment in cold weather, and as vinegar upon nitre, so is he that singeth songs to an heavy heart.

Note: Just as it would be heartless to take away a garment on a cold day or put vinegar on soda (nitre), rendering it useless, so would it be to sing to a sad person. heavy heart. Lit., evil heart; i.e. a sad heart.

27It is not good to eat much honey: so for men to search their own glory is not glory.

Note: The proverb warns against becoming too engrossed in one's share of honor. Excess, even of a good thing, is bad.

Proverbs 26 (KJV)

19So is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport?

Note: in sport = joking. The person who makes a joke of his thoughtlessness is a dangerous person to be around.

Proverbs 27 (KJV)

8As a bird that wandereth from her nest, so is a man that wandereth from his place.

Note: Leaving the security and guidance of one's home may lead to the experience of a prodigal.

19As in water face answereth to face, so the heart of man to man. answereth. Better, reflects. to man.

Note: Better, reflects man. As water reflects the face, the heart of man reflects and reveals his inner person.

21As the fining pot for silver, and the furnace for gold; so is a man to his praise.

Note: A man's response to praise is a test of his character. Self-deprecation may reflect false pride. fining = refining. his praise, i.e., the praised accorded to him.

Proverbs 30 (KJV)

6Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

Note: Supplementing God's Word with man's speculation is foolish business.
Me: this reminds me of something in Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World - by Carolyn McCulley, about how Eve added to what God said in Genesis 3:3 (The Fall), and how we as fallen creatures are apt to do the same.

11There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.
12There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.
13There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up.
14There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.

Note: A picture of four kinds of evil men: the disrespectful, the hypocrite, the proud, and the greedy.

18There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not:
19The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.

Note: These four ways are difficult to understand either because their movements leave no track to follow or because they relate to things not easy to master. The way of a man with a maid refers to courtship.

24There be four things which are little upon the earth, but they are exceeding wise:
25The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer;
26The conies are but a feeble folk, yet make they their houses in the rocks;
27The locusts have no king, yet go they forth all of them by bands;
28The spider taketh hold with her hands, and is in kings' palaces.

Note: Four small creatures that manifest wisdom. Ants have foresight to make provision; badgers (conies) find protective shelter; locusts have an ordered (by bands) community; and the lizard (spider) is bold and fearless. taketh hold with her hands. Better, you can take hold of with the hands; i.e., you can catch in your hand.

Quiet Time : Much Needed Wisdom

2009-03-27T09:15:00.009-04:00

Sorry to all of you readers (Mom!) about my lack of quiet time posts. The good news is that I have been having them regularly! Well, the real Good News is that Jesus Christ died for my sins, so that I might be justified by faith alone, in Christ alone - repent of my sins and believe, and therefore saved from God's ultimate wrath, and have a relationship with Him through His Son, by the help of the Holy Spirit... the way He intended it from the beginning...

Anyway, I have been really good about staying on course. And the interesting thing is when I have missed (like I did one day last week), I've noticed what a difference it makes for me spiritually. How that one day I did struggle more than on those other days that I started off in the Word.

I have been reading Proverbs, and let me just say WHOA! Every single verse has so much... good advice! I have been keeping a list of those that jump out at me, and will share some of them below.

But first I want to share this with you. If you have been reading my blog, you know that I have struggled with waking up in the morning. Last week I actually woke up early enough to go to Theology Breakfast (will explain what that is later), and I went back to sleep! When I got up to get ready for work that morning I was so disappointed in myself. I told myself 'next week, I just have to go, no excuses.'

This past Wednesday night I made sure to go to bed at a decent time, and set my alarm for 6 am. I prayed that God would help me to get up in the morning, because I really didn't want to disappoint myself again. Lo and behold, I got up! Got ready for work and went to Theology Breakfast! And it was so edifying... I got to sit in my pastor's study with other church members, and listen to him read from Martin Luther about Romans 4. And then to hear the thoughtful discussion that came from it was just... great! I mean so great that I can't find adequate words to express it... let's just say it's such a breath of fresh air to hear men speak about theology and doctrine so passionately, so much so that they have made it their life's work.

Afterwards I went home to have my quiet time. I read this:

Proverbs 26:14 (KJV)

14As the door turneth upon his hinges, so doth the slothful upon his bed.

Ryrie Study Bible note: The slothful person is as attached to his bed as a door is to its hinges.

That perfectly described me exactly one week before. It's not pretty, and it's definitely not how I want to be.

Soooooo, on to some verses: :)

+++++

Proverbs 3:11-20 (KJV)

11My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:
12For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.
13Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.
14For the merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold.
15She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her.
16Length of days is in her right hand; and in her left hand riches and honour.
17Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.
18She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is every one that retaineth her.
19The LORD by wisdom hath founded the earth; by understanding hath he established the heavens.
20By his knowledge the depths are broken up, and the clouds drop down the dew.

Proverbs 8 (KJV)

22The LORD possessed me in the beginning of his way, before his works of old.
23I was set up from everlasting, from the beginning, or ever the earth was.
24When there were no depths, I was brought forth; when there were no fountains abounding with water.
25Before the mountains were settled, before the hills was I brought forth:
26While as yet he had not made the earth, nor the fields, nor the highest part of the dust of the world.
27When he prepared the heavens, I was there: when he set a compass upon the face of the depth:
28When he established the clouds above: when he strengthened the fountains of the deep:
29When he gave to the sea his decree, that the waters should not pass his commandment: when he appointed the foundations of the earth:
30Then I was by him, as one brought up with him: and I was daily his delight, rejoicing always before him;
31Rejoicing in the habitable part of his earth; and my delights were with the sons of men.

Note: The passage shows wisdom is older than creation and is fundamental to it (v. 23), that it assisted in creation as a master workman (v.30), and that it rejoiced in creation (vv.30-31).

36But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul: all they that hate me love death.

Proverbs 9 (KJV)

7He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame: and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot.

Note: scorner = scoffer. The wicked person will not only not receive criticism but will turn on the one trying to help him. blot. lit., his blemish; i.e., an insult.

10The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.

Proverbs 10 (KJV)

5He that gathereth in summer is a wise son: but he that sleepeth in harvest is a son that causeth shame.

12Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

21The lips of the righteous feed many: but fools die for want of wisdom.

Proverbs 11:14 (KJV)

14Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Proverbs 12:15 (KJV)

15The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.

These two on seeking counsel are terrific! Oh what a difference it has made in my life to have people who I can go to, who I am accountable, who know God's Word and Truth, and can help me to see where I am struggling/sinning/improving! :)

Proverbs 13 (KJV)

12Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.

19The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul: but it is abomination to fools to depart from evil.

Note: Nothing is so sweet as gaining some desired thing, but fools won't leave their evil ways to do that.

Proverbs 14 (KJV)

12There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
13Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth is heaviness.

Proverbs 15 (KJV)

13A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

26The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD: but the words of the pure are pleasant words.

Proverbs 16 (KJV)

3Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.

Note: Commit. lit., roll. Roll your burdens on the Lord; although they may cause you anxiety, they are not to great for Him.

6By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the LORD men depart from evil.

Note: mercy. Loyal love. truth. Faithfulness. purged. lit., atoned for. The atonement for man's sin is the result of God's loyal love and faithfulness. The fear of the Lord motivates a man to turn away from sin when he is tempted.

17The highway of the upright is to depart from evil: he that keepeth his way preserveth his soul.
20He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he.

22Understanding is a wellspring of life unto him that hath it: but the instruction of fools is folly.
(calls to mind Proverbs 4:23).

25There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

Proverbs 17:16 (KJV)

16Wherefore is there a price in the hand of a fool to get wisdom, seeing he hath no heart to it?

Note: wherefore = why. hath no heart to it. Better, has no understanding. This picture of a fool trying to buy wisdom is satirical, for wisdom cannot be purchased at any price. Nor is it reveived through some mechanical formula, but only by a proper heart attitude.

Whew! Okay, I have more, but will post them later. :)

CSL: "the devil laughs"

2009-03-24T22:22:00.005-04:00

Last night, I was looking over my blog posts, and read this (from here):

"Self-pity is pride in response to trial (I am paraphrasing Mark who was quoting John Piper). On the flip side, boastfulness is pride in response to prosperity."

I know that I can have little pity parties when things aren't going my way; and how I can yearn for prosperity in many different forms. And although I heard this is a sermon LAST YEAR, and the above statement made perfect sense to me ... it makes even more sense to me know. Pride is ugly and it's sinful. And I don't want anything to do with it.

Then this morning, I read the following:

24 March

Dictatorship of Pride

It is a terrible thing that the worse of all vices [Pride] can smuggle itself into the very centre of our religious life. But you can see why. The other, and less bad, vices come from the devil working on us through our animal nature. But this does not come through our animal nature at all. It comes direct from Hell. It is purely spiritual: consequently it is far more subtle and deadly. For the same reason, Pride can often be used to beat down the simpler vices. Teachers, in fact, often appeal to a boy's Pride, or, as they call it, his self-respect, to make him behave decently: many a man has overcome cowardice, or lust, or ill-temper, by learning to think that they are beneath his dignity - that is, by Pride. The devil laughs. He is perfectly content to see you becoming chaste and brave and self-controlled provided, all the time, he is setting up in you the Dictatorship of Pride - just as he would be quite content to see your chilblains cured if he was allowed, in return, to give you cancer. For pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense. (emphasis mine)

- from Mere Christianity

1918 Edward "Paddy" Moore, Lewis's army roommate and friend, is reported missing in action. It is later learned that Paddy had been killed in action on March 21, 1918, resisting the German attack on Pargny, France.

C.S. Lewis, A Year With C.S. Lewis: Daily Reading From His Classic Works, Harper Publishers, 2003.

I read Mere Christianity a few years ago, and it's still so amazing to read the thoughts of such a great mind. And it makes me sad when I see the sin of pride in fellow Christians - makes me sick to see it in myself. The last sentence about pride being spiritual cancer and the effects of that sickness really stuck out to me. I don't want to be wrapped up in it, and I want to help others who seem to be so stuck that they don't see the situation that the are in.

Okay, now I'm tired and gave a migraine, so good night!

*I'm leaving the typos in, even though I realllllllly want to fix them... could that be my pride!??! Eh, I had a bad migraine, and it really doesn't matter. :)*

CSL : How Marriage Reconciles

2009-03-22T21:02:00.003-04:00

21 March

How Marriage Reconciles

Lewis, grieving the death of his wife Joy:

'It was too perfect to last,' so I am tempted to say of our marriage. But it can be meant in two ways. It may be grimly pessimistic - as if God no sooner saw two of His creatures happy than He stopped it ('None of that here!). As if He were like the Hostess at the sherry-party who separates two guests the moment they show signs of having got into a real conversation. But it could also mean 'This had reached its proper perfection. This had become what it had in it to be. Therefore of course it would not be prolonged.' As if God said, 'Good; you have mastered that exercise. I am very pleased with it. And now you are ready to go on to the next.' When you have learned to do quadratics and enjoy doing them you will not be set them much longer. The teacher moves you on.

For we did learn and achieve something. There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them. It is arrogance in us to call frankness, fairness, and chivalry 'masculine' when we see them in a woman; it is arrogance in them to describe a man's sensitiveness or tact or tenderness as 'feminine.' But also what poor, warped fragments of humanity most mere men and mere women must be to make the implications of that arrogance plausible. Marriage heals this. Jointly the two become fully human. 'In the image of God created He them.' Thus, by paradox, this carnival of sexuality leads us out beyond our sexes.

- from A Grief Observed

1957 Jack Lewis and Joy Davidman Gresham, united in a civil marriage the previous year, are married in an ecclesiastical ceremony in Wingfield-Morris Hospital by the Rev. Peter Bide. Bide also performs a healing service for Joy, who is believed to be dying of cancer.

C.S. Lewis, A Year With C.S. Lewis: Daily Reading From His Classic Works, Harper Publishers, 2003.

+++++

This really struck me, because of how I often tire of "us verses them" talk. You know the kind. All guys are this way, and all girls are that. It's completely unfair and unconstructive. When I hear this, I just want to say 'we should REJOICE in our differences, not see them as liabilities.' It just seems like a waste of time, and is definitely unedifying. 90% of the time I just keep my mouth shut. So, just thought I'd share this quote. :)

Daily Dose of Spurgeon : "sweetness of my lot"

2009-03-16T16:23:00.002-04:00

March 16, Morning

Psalm 39:12
I am a stranger with thee.

Yes, O Lord, with Thee, but not to Thee. All my natural alienation from Thee, Thy grace has effectually removed; and now, in fellowship with Thyself, I walk through this sinful world as a pilgrim in a foreign country. Thou art a stranger in Thine own world. Man forgets Thee, dishonours Thee, sets up new laws and alien customs, and knows Thee not. When Thy dear Son came unto His own, His own received Him not. He was in the world, and the world was made by Him, and the world knew Him not. Never was foreigner so speckled a bird among the denizens of any land as Thy beloved Son among His mother's brethren. It is no marvel, then, if I who live the life of Jesus, should be unknown and a stranger here below. Lord, I would not be a citizen where Jesus was an alien. His pierced hand has loosened the cords which once bound my soul to earth, and now I find myself a stranger in the land. My speech seems to these Babylonians among whom I dwell an outlandish tongue, my manners are singular, and my actions are strange. A Tartar would be more at home in Cheapside than I could ever be in the haunts of sinners. But here is the sweetness of my lot: I am a stranger with Thee. Thou art my fellow-sufferer, my fellow-pilgrim. Oh, what joy to wander in such blessed society! My heart burns within me by the way when thou dost speak to me, and though I be a sojourner, I am far more blest than those who sit on thrones, and far more at home than those who dwell in their ceiled houses.

"To me remains nor place, nor time:
My country is in every clime;
I can be calm and free from care
On any shore, since God is there.

While place we seek, or place we shun,
The soul finds happiness in none:
But with a God to guide our way,
'Tis equal joy to go or stay."

Whoa, that ROE? Yes, that Roe.

2009-03-10T12:04:00.004-04:00

I remember reading somewhere about Norma McCorvey (better known as the "Roe" in Roe v. Wade). That she in fact did not have the abortion that started the lawsuit. That she eventually became pro-life. After posting about stem-cell research, I decided to google her. I came upon her website and read her testimony.

First of all, it's pretty powerful. Click here to read it, I highly encourage you to.

Second of all, it reminded me of something I thought about this morning. First, here is an excerpt:

"When I reached Pastor Sheats, I saw Jesus in his eyes. It made me feel so incredibly sorry for all my sins, especially for my role in legalizing abortion. I just kept repeating over and over, "I just want to undo all the evil I've done in this world. I'm so sorry, God. I'm so, so sorry. As far as abortion is concerned, I just want to undo it. I want it all to just go away." Finally, I stopped crying and broke into the biggest smile of my life. I no longer felt the pressure of my sin pushing down on my shoulders. The release was so quick that I felt like I could almost float outside."

I was thinking this morning about swimming. Please hang in there with me, this is relevant! I started to think of what we can learn about God from swimming. About how it could be a glimpse of Heaven. (please, just stick with me here). Being in/under water is the closest we can naturally get to weightlessness. Now I don't think we will be up in Heaven, literally weightless, like you see astronauts in space (although we might be, who knows?). But I quickly thought of it as a weightlessness from sin. That the feeling of sin would be lifted off our shoulders. How it will feel like the weight of 10 Empire State Buildings LITERALLY being lifted off our shoulders! (basically, it's indescribable). How even the most convicted of sinners will be surprised and delighted at the sensation. It's beyond comprehension!

Praise God for the day when all believers will be freed from sin! :)

Thirdly, I was just about to read a post on Desiring God, but hadn't read it yet. I had it open, but decided to look up Roe first. Here is a quote from McCorvey:

"When my conversion became public knowledge, I spoke openly to reporters about still supporting legalized abortion in the first trimester. The media was quick to use this to downplay the seriousness of my conversion, saying I typified the "general ambivalence" of our culture over abortion. But a few weeks after my conversion, I was sitting in O.R.'s offices when I noticed a fetal development poster. The progression was so obvious, the eyes were so sweet. It hurt my heart, just looking at them.

I ran outside and finally, it dawned on me. "Norma," I said to myself, "They're right." I had worked with pregnant women for years. I had been through three pregnancies and deliveries myself. I should have known. Yet something in that poster made me lose my breath. I kept seeing the picture of that tiny, 10-week-old embryo, and I said to myself, that's a baby! It's as if blinders just fell off my eyes and I suddenly understood the truth--that's a baby!"

Here is the post I had ready to read on my monitor, Pray for Blessed Eyes. Here is a quote:

"Do you have “blessed eyes”? The new birth is the gift of “blessed eyes.” This is what Paul was sent to do in the power of Christ: “I am sending you to open their eyes” (Acts 26:18).

And once we have “blessed eyes,” we pray for the fullest use of them every day.

Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law. (Psalms 119:18)"

Praise God for the apparent conversion of this women; the power of her testimony, those she can reach out to, and most importantly - that God is ultimately glorified!

Stem-Cell Research : I'll let others do the typing...

2009-03-10T10:54:00.008-04:00

I almost didn't post anything about this, because I'm trying to be positive about things, but this just really bothers me. So, instead of voicing my own concerns (which I probably wouldn't do very effectively - I would rather pray about it than complain about it), I am posting links to what others have to say:

Al Mohler, The Floodgate is Now Open -- President Oba ma and the Vulnerable Embryo.

Quote: "The vulnerable human embryo is now at greater risk than ever before. And this, inevitably, means that every single human life is devalued by this decision."

Two articles I found linked on theologica:

First Things, Stem Cells: A Political History.

Quote: "Perhaps the recipe looks like this: Take the always-present human hunger for magic—for medicine as a kind of witchcraft, delivering thaumaturgical cures. Add the vague sense, shared by most people, that ever since the discovery of DNA’s double helix in 1953 we have been living in something like a golden age of biology. Include the strong sense, among political liberals, that religious believers must be discredited before they undo the abortion license. Now, wrap the whole thing up in money, the competition for trillions of dollars in research grants and the biotech companies’ stock dividends."

The Weekly Standard, Perpetuating a Needless Stem-Cell War.

Quote: "President Obama today fulfilled his campaign promise to lift federal-funding restrictions on research involving the destruction of human embryos. He couldn't have done so at a more inappropriate time, for just last week scientists made headlines again announcing yet another breakthrough in what is known as "induced pluripotent stem-cell" technology. Following up on the initial breakthrough in November 2007 that allowed scientists to produce the biological equivalent of embryonic stem cells without creating, using, or destroying any human embryos, scientists have continued to refine their methods. Last week's announcement was the latest in a long string of developments. If Obama truly wants to find honorable compromises that the entire nation can accept in good conscience and even endorse, he should be promoting these alternative sources."

Here are some Notes on Early Human Development, for your instructional pleasure.

Quiet Time : all good things must come to an end

2009-03-09T16:46:00.004-04:00

I have finished the Psalms. Yes, all 150 of them. And what a blessing they were to read! :)

Seriously, my heart is overjoyed. I thank my God for His instruction and encouragement through His WORD!

I got behind on posting about my quiet times, but here are a few snippets:

+++++

I will sigh and with all creation groan/As I wait for Hope to come for me*

Psalm 96:11-13 (KJV)

¹¹Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad; let the sea roar, and the fulness thereof.

¹²Let the field be joyful, and all that is therein: then shall all the trees of the wood rejoice

¹³Before the LORD: for he cometh, for he cometh to judge the earth: he shall judge the world with righteousness, and the people with his truth.

Ryrie Study Bible: All creation will flourish when the curse is reversed in the Millennium.

See Romans 8:22 (KJV)

For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.

Psalm 98:7-8 (KJV)

⁷Let the sea roar, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.

⁸Let the floods clap their hands: let the hills be joyful together

Ryrie Study Bible note: Nature will rejoice in its release when Christ rules in His millennial kingdom.

*lyrics from Brooke Frasers', "C.S. Lewis Song."

+++++

Psalm 117 (KJV)

¹O praise the LORD, all ye nations: praise him, all ye people.

²For his merciful kindness is great toward us: and the truth of the LORD endureth for ever. Praise ye the LORD.

Ryrie Study Bible note: This shortest and middle chapter of the Bible is a hymn in its simplest form - a call to praise (v. 1) and the cause for that priase (v. 2).

Yep, only two verses, and isn't that cool!?!

+++++

Psalm 119 (long, but awesome, did you expect any less?). The following verses really caught my eye:

⁶²At midnight I will rise to give thanks unto thee because of thy righteous judgments.

⁶³I am a companion of all them that fear thee, and of them that keep thy precepts.

⁶⁴The earth, O LORD, is full of thy mercy: teach me thy statutes.

⁶⁵Thou hast dealt well with thy servant, O LORD, according unto thy word.

⁶⁶Teach me good judgment and knowledge: for I have believed thy commandments.

⁶⁷Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word.

⁶⁸Thou art good, and doest good; teach me thy statutes.

⁶⁹The proud have forged a lie against me: but I will keep thy precepts with my whole heart.

⁷⁰Their heart is as fat as grease; but I delight in thy law.

⁷¹It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.

⁷²The law of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver.

and these three:

¹⁰³How sweet are thy words unto my taste! yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth!

¹³⁶Rivers of waters run down mine eyes, because they keep not thy law.

¹⁷⁶I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant; for I do not forget thy commandments.

+++++

And then there is the last verse of the last chapter:

Psalm 150:6 (KJV)

⁶Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.

I didn't copy the note from my study Bible, but something about how appropriate that the last verse of the Psalms has to do with everything praising God!

SOMEONE wants me to be a morning person... already...

2009-03-09T14:48:00.006-04:00

I'm not a morning person. It's no secret. Also, it's no secret that I feel as though the Lord wants me to wake up early. See here and here for previous posts.

Well, last week I got another jolt. You see, I was getting pretty good about waking up early, then last week it all went downhill. I could blame a resurgence of my migraines, but still... no excuses! Although I still made time for quiet time, I still want to wake up early!

Rewind to last week; last Wednesday specifically. I slept in just about as late as possible to still fit in a quiet time. This is one verse that I read that morning that REALLY got my attention:

Psalm 108:2 (KJV)

Awake, psaltery and harp: I myself will awake early.

(if you have time, read the whole Psalm. It's a short one. As always, I have a link to the whole Psalm above - or hey, go ahead and read all of them! ;) ).

I read that and thought to myself "whoa." That's about it, because I didn't have time to think of anything else! I blame that on me giving myself little time to read, and wanting to read to much. I read 10 Psalms that morning. I was sleepy, but I read them. (note: I'm thinking that if I wasn't so sleepy, I would get so much more out of them - so although I still got my quiet time in, I still need to wake up earlier!).

Last Thursday I woke up at 3 am. That was too early (and sooo not cool), so I went back to sleep. Then I woke up at 5 am. A-hem, as in 5 am CLUB! Still, my lazy flesh convinced me to go back to sleep. Then I woke up at 7 am. Geez! I then slowly got myself ready to have a quiet time.

I started out by reading Morning and Evening (another note: I usually read that days' Morning and Evening before my quiet times. I feel like I'm getting a mini-sermon before I dive into the Word). Although the devotion is about "Christian wakefulness" (not an argument for waking up early, per se), it really caught my eye. The verse for the devotion was:

1 Thessalonians 5:6 (KJV)

Let us not sleep, as do others.

It kinda felt like a slap in the face. A gentle, encouraging one, but still... an attention-getter to be sure! If you would like to read the full devotional, click here.

(just an aside: that morning I read Psalm 119, which consists of 176 verses!).

So, despite the time change (which I'm loving because of the extra hour of sunlight), I will AGAIN try to persevere to wake up early. I bought three Carolyn Mahaney books to start reading in the mornings, too. I'm starting out with Feminine Appeal, then I will follow-up (in no particular order, yet) with Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations Biblical Womanhood and *cough cough* Shopping for Time: How to do It All and NOT Be Overwhelmed.

*Awesome photo courtesy of Google Images/Washington Post, not my camera*

Addendum: Check out what Spurgeon has to say about the latter part of Psalm 108:2:

I myself will awake early. I will call up the dawn. The best and brightest hours of the day shall find me heartily aroused to bless my God. Some singers had need to awake, for they sing in drawling tones, as if they were half asleep; the tune drags wearily along, there is no feeling or sentiment in the singing, but the listener hears only a dull mechanical sound, as if the choir ground out the notes from a worn out barrel organ. Oh, choristers, wake up, for this is not a work for dreamers, but such as requires your best powers in their liveliest condition. In all worship this should be the personal resolve of each worshipper: "I myself will awake."

Quiet Time : "thy comforts delight my soul"

2009-02-26T15:25:00.006-05:00

^{Psalm 94 (KJV)

8}Understand, ye brutish among the people: and ye fools, when will ye be wise?

⁹He that planted the ear, shall he not hear? he that formed the eye, shall he not see?

¹⁰He that chastiseth the heathen, shall not he correct? he that teacheth man knowledge, shall not he know?

¹¹The LORD knoweth the thoughts of man, that they are vanity.

Had to add what Spurgeon said about verse 9:

"He fashioned that marvellous organ, and fixed it in the most convenient place near to the brain, and is he deaf himself? Is he capable of such design and invention, and yet can he not discern what is done in the world which he made? He made you hear, can he not himself hear? Unanswerable question! It overwhelms the sceptic, and covers him with confusion. He that formed the eye, shall he not see? He gives us vision; is it conceivable that he has no sight himself? With skilful hand he fashioned the optic nerve, and the eyeball, and all its curious mechanism, and it surpasses all conception that he can himself be unable to observe the doings of his creatures. If there be a God, he must be a personal intelligent being, and no limit can be set to his knowledge."

and some that he said about verse 11:

"How foolish are those who think that God does not know their actions, when the truth is that their vain thoughts are all perceived by him"

...

¹⁷Unless the LORD had been my help, my soul had almost dwelt in silence.

¹⁸When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O LORD, held me up.

¹⁹In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.

Can't help myself; here is some of what Spurgeon said about verse 19:

"When I am tossed to and fro with various reasonings, distractions, questions, and forebodings, I will fly to my true rest, for thy comforts delight my soul."

+++

Psalm 95:8 (KJV)

Harden not your heart, as in the provocation, and as in the day of temptation in the wilderness:

Some of what Spurgeon said:

"Today is too good a day to be profaned by the hardening of our hearts against our own mercies."

Daily Dose of Spurgeon : PRAYER

2009-02-19T09:52:00.003-05:00

February 19, Morning

Ezekiel 36:37

Thus saith the Lord God; I will yet for this be enquired of by the house of Israel, to do it for them.

Prayer is the forerunner of mercy. Turn to sacred history, and you will find that scarcely ever did a great mercy come to this world unheralded by supplication. You have found this true in your own personal experience. God has given you many an unsolicited favour, but still great prayer has always been the prelude of great mercy with you. When you first found peace through the blood of the cross, you had been praying much, and earnestly interceding with God that He would remove your doubts, and deliver you from your distresses. Your assurance was the result of prayer. When at any time you have had high and rapturous joys, you have been obliged to look upon them as answers to your prayers. When you have had great deliverances out of sore troubles, and mighty helps in great dangers, you have been able to say, "I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears." Prayer is always the preface to blessing. It goes before the blessing as the blessing's shadow. When the sunlight of God's mercies rises upon our necessities, it casts the shadow of prayer far down upon the plain. Or, to use another illustration, when God piles up a hill of mercies, He Himself shines behind them, and He casts on our spirits the shadow of prayer, so that we may rest certain, if we are much in prayer, our pleadings are the shadows of mercy. Prayer is thus connected with the blessing to show us the value of it. If we had the blessings without asking for them, we should think them common things; but prayer makes our mercies more precious than diamonds. The things we ask for are precious, but we do not realize their preciousness until we have sought for them earnestly.
"Prayer makes the darken'd cloud withdraw;
Prayer climbs the ladder Jacob saw;
Gives exercise to faith and love;
Brings every blessing from above."

Quiet Time : "my song"

2009-02-17T16:09:00.002-05:00

Psalm 77:6 (KJV)

I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search.

Reminds me of the serious prayer(s) I had to go through about 2 years ago. Check out the whole Psalm if you have the time.

words matter

2009-02-12T13:15:00.006-05:00

No doubt that guy Blagojevich is everywhere. I saw today where he's said something to the affect of - I'll pull out my crayons and write a book about politics in Illinois. And yes, I know he's innocent until proven guilty. But what I want to talk about are our WORDS.

Like it or not, our words matter. There is a reason for Jesus having said, "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No." (Matthew 5:37 (NIV)). Blagojevich's words may have been taken out of context (he voice may have been dripping with sarcasm, perhaps he was rehearsing for a comedy skit..., I digress), but he still said those words. Those words. Words that earned him an impeachment. Words that embarrassed his state. Words that, although I don't believe he's involved in any way, certainly were not helpful to President Obama in the first days of his historic presidency. Every word that comes out of our mouths... matters.

I don't want to harp on this man, but he's setting himself up as a prime example to anyone who is willing to pay attention. No matter if our words are caught by a FBI wiretap, said in the company of trusted friends, or just whispered in our hearts; they matter.

Luke 6:45 (NIV)

The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

Quiet Time : Enemies and Lies

2009-02-12T11:01:00.003-05:00

More from yesterday morning:

Psalm 62 (KJV)

³How long will ye imagine mischief against a man? ye shall be slain all of you: as a bowing wall shall ye be, and as a tottering fence.

⁴They only consult to cast him down from his excellency: they delight in lies: they bless with their mouth, but they curse inwardly. Selah.

Ryrie footnote: ye shall be slain. Better, that you may slay him. Through lies David's enemies attempted to overthrow him in his weakened condition (bowing, i.e., leaning, and tottering).

Psalm 63 (KJV)

¹¹But the king shall rejoice in God; every one that sweareth by him shall glory: but the mouth of them that speak lies shall be stopped.

Psalm 64 (KJV)

³Who whet their tongue like a sword, and bend their bows to shoot their arrows, even bitter words:

⁸So they shall make their own tongue to fall upon themselves: all that see them shall flee away.

The 64:3 footnote mentioned Psalm 59:7. I read it, went back to 64. Decided to go back to 59, but went back to 55, and was drawn to 55:21

Psalm 55 (KJV)

²¹The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords.

Psalm 59 (KJV)

⁷Behold, they belch out with their mouth: swords are in their lips: for who, say they, doth hear?

And from this morning. The opposite of enemies and lies:

Psalm 66:16 (KJV)

¹⁶Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul.

Daily Dose of Spurgeon : be Christ-like : "rounds the day with joy"

2009-02-11T12:54:00.004-05:00

February 11, Morning

Acts 4:13

And they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus.

A Christian should be a striking likeness of Jesus Christ. You have read lives of Christ, beautifully and eloquently written, but the best life of Christ is His living biography, written out in the words and actions of His people. If we were what we profess to be, and what we should be, we should be pictures of Christ; yea, such striking likenesses of Him, that the world would not have to hold us up by the hour together, and say, "Well, it seems somewhat of a likeness;" but they would, when they once beheld us, exclaim, "He has been with Jesus; he has been taught of Him; he is like Him; he has caught the very idea of the holy Man of Nazareth, and he works it out in his life and every-day actions."

A Christian should be like Christ in his boldness. Never blush to own your religion; your profession will never disgrace you: take care you never disgrace that. Be like Jesus, very valiant for your God. Imitate Him in your loving spirit; think kindly, speak kindly, and do kindly, that men may say of you, "He has been with Jesus." Imitate Jesus in His holiness. Was He zealous for His Master? So be you; ever go about doing good. Let not time be wasted: it is too precious. Was He self-denying, never looking to His own interest? Be the same. Was He devout? Be you fervent in your prayers. Had He deference to His Father's will? So submit yourselves to Him. Was He patient? So learn to endure. And best of all, as the highest portraiture of Jesus, try to forgive your enemies, as He did; and let those sublime words of your Master, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do," always ring in your ears. Forgive, as you hope to be forgiven. Heap coals of fire on the head of your foe by your kindness to him. Good for evil, recollect, is godlike. Be godlike, then; and in all ways and by all means, so live that all may say of you, "He has been with Jesus."

C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishing, 1997.

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From my quiet time this morning:

Psalm 65:8

They also that dwell in the uttermost parts are afraid at thy tokens: though makes the outgoing of the morning and evening to rejoice.

This is what Spurgeon has to say about the "morning and evening" part of this verse:

Thou makest the outgoings of the morning and evening to rejoice. East and west are made happy by God's favour to the dwellers therein. Our rising hours are bright with hope, and our evening moments mellow with thanksgiving. Whether the sun go forth or come in we bless God and rejoice in the gates of the day. When the fair morning blushes with the rosey dawn we rejoice; and when the calm evening smiles restfully we rejoice still. We do not believe that the dew weeps the death of the day; we only see jewels bequethed by the departing day for its successor to gather up from the earth. Faith, when she sees God, rounds the day with joy. She cannot fast, because the bridegroom is with her. Night and day are alike to her, for the same God make them and blessed them. She would have no rejoicing if God did not make her glad; but, blessed be His name, He never ceases to make joy for those who find their joy in Him.

Quiet Time : Shelter

2009-02-10T14:13:00.006-05:00

Psalm 56 (KJV)

1Be merciful unto me, O God: for man would swallow me up; he fighting daily oppresseth me.

2Mine enemies would daily swallow me up: for they be many that fight against me, O thou most High.

3What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.

4In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.

5Every day they wrest my words: all their thoughts are against me for evil.

6They gather themselves together, they hide themselves, they mark my steps, when they wait for my soul.

7Shall they escape by iniquity? in thine anger cast down the people, O God.

8Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?

9When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me.

10In God will I praise his word: in the LORD will I praise his word.

11In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.

12Thy vows are upon me, O God: I will render praises unto thee.

13For thou hast delivered my soul from death: wilt not thou deliver my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living?

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It was at about verse 9 that I started reading this Psalm differently. So much so that I had to go back and reread it with my different way of thinking in mind. I started seeing these enemies as the "world." Or one might say our culture. How to not let culture influence my life. I read this last week.

Then last Friday, I listened to the previous Sunday's sermon that I missed because I was teaching the little ones. Click here to listen to A Psalm for Wintertime - Psalm 49. Before I listened to this sermon, I read Jonathan's post on the 9 Marks blog about the new book Wordliness. Then, wouldn't you know it, I mentioned to my roommate that I want to read it, and she loaned it to me! :) (I didn't know she had it...) I started reading it Sunday, and it is so good; a must read!

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Psalm 59:16 (KJV)

16But I will sing of thy power; yea, I will sing aloud of thy mercy in the morning: for thou hast been my defence and refuge in the day of my trouble.

Which sounds like:

Lamentations 3:22-23 (KJV)

22It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

23They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Praise God that His mercies are new every morning. Because I certainly need them; every day, anew.

+++++

Then on to:

Psalm 61:2-4

2From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my h eart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

3For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy.

4I will abide in thy tabernacle for ever: I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah.

My Ryrie Study Bible said:

Footnote 2-4: The rock that is higher than I. An asylum

that David could not reach in his own strength and that gives protection and security. God is the asylum, pictured by four figures of speech: shelter (refuge), strong tower, tabernacle (tent), and covert (shelter) of your wings (the Lord is the protective shade for His people).

I am grateful to have a shelter in the storm.

Quiet Time : "Beautiful for situation"

2009-02-04T12:55:00.006-05:00

Psalm 46 (KJV)

1God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Footnote: A refuge provides shelter from danger. Strength gives us courage in danger. Very present help. Can also have the idea of "well-proved help." God's help is both present and proven, ready and reliable.

My thought: This goes to show how meditating on how God has helped me in the past (shown Himself to be Faithful), helps me to trust Him with the future.

10Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

Footnote: Be still (i.e., cease from warlike activities) and acknowledge God's supremacy.

My thought: This is the one verse that popped into my head about 2 years ago, when God was really speaking to me. It helped me when I was struggling with things. It's a pretty well known verse, but I meditated on it a lot!

Psalm 47 (KJV)

4He shall choose our inheritance for us, the excellency of Jacob whom he loved. Selah.

My thought: According to the foot note, the inheritance is the Promised Land of Canaan. This verse made me think of God as a definite authority figure. Have you ever noticed how we humans always rebel against an authority figure? How we resent that they think they know better than we do? As with unbelievers, who reject God's good plan for them, who see it as an imposition to the point of denying Him.

Psalm 48 (KJV)

2Beautiful for situation, the joy of the whole earth, is mount Zion, on the sides of the north, the city of the great King.

Footnote: On the sides of the north. In heathen lore, the abodes of the gods. See note on Isa 14:13-14. Thus this is a claim that Jerusalem is the place where the true God reigns.

My thought: I really like "Beautiful for situation." NIV says "It is beautiful in it's loftiness." ESV says "beautiful in elevation." Read what Spurgeon had to say about this verse (and Psalm) here -"The elevation of the church is her beauty. The more she is above the world the fairer she is."

Speaking of Spurgeon, definitely check out this morning's Daily Dose of Spurgeon. It's about God's Love and Faithfulness -

"When thou hast thus looked back upon the love of the Lord, then let faith survey His love in the future, for remember that Christ's covenant and blood have something more in them than the past. He who has loved thee and pardoned thee, shall never cease to love and pardon."

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Quite Time : Belated

I'm a little behind on my quiet time posts, but am quite sure no one is waiting with bated breath for them! However, here is one verse that I meant to look into more, and well, now is as good a time as ever.

Psalm 44:19 (KJV)

Though thou hast sore broken us in the place of dragons, and covered us with the shadow of death.

Check out what Spurgeon has to say about this Psalm and verse -

"To be true to a smiting God, even when the blows lay our joys in ruinous heaps, is to be such as the Lord delighteth in. Better to be broken by God than from God."

Here's another commentary (see comments on verses 17-26) by Matthew Henry -

"While our troubles do not drive us from our duty to God, we should not suffer them to drive us from our comfort in God. Let us take care that prosperity and ease do not render us careless and lukewarm. The church of God cannot be prevailed on by persecution to forget God; the believer's heart does not turn back from God. "

Daily Dose of Spurgeon : wake up!

2009-01-30T09:35:00.005-05:00

January 30, Morning

2 Samuel 5:24

When thou hearest the sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees, then thou shalt bestir thyself.

The members of Christ's Church should be very prayerful, always seeking the unction of the Holy One to rest upon their hearts, that the kingdom of Christ may come, and that His "will be done on earth, even as it is in heaven;" but there are times when God seems especially to favour Zion, such seasons ought to be to them like "the sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees." We ought then to be doubly prayerful, doubly earnest, wrestling more at the throne than we have been wont to do. Action should then be prompt and vigorous. The tide is flowing-now let us pull manfully for the shore. O for Pentecostal outpourings and Pentecostal labours. Christian, in yourself there are times "when thou hearest the sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees." You have a peculiar power in prayer; the Spirit of God gives you joy and gladness; the Scripture is open to you; the promises are applied; you walk in the light of God's countenance; you have peculiar freedom and liberty in devotion, and more closeness of communion with Christ than was your wont. Now, at such joyous periods when you hear the "sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees," is the time to bestir yourself; now is the time to get rid of any evil habit, while God the Spirit helpeth your infirmities. Spread your sail; but remember what you sometimes sing-

"I can only spread the sail;
Thou! Thou! must breathe the auspicious gale."

Only be sure you have the sail up. Do not miss the gale for want of preparation for it. Seek help of God, that you may be more earnest in duty when made more strong in faith; that you may be more constant in prayer when you have more liberty at the throne; that you may be more holy in your conversation whilst you live more closely with Christ.

C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishers, 1997.

Whoa. I read this this morning, and felt as though Charles Haddon Spurgeon was telling me to "wake up!" I've seriously been scanning it just now to see if those words are really there, because I thought they were! (maybe it was the "now... is the time to bestir yourself"). See a recent post I wrote about, well, being lazy. Not good! I cannot waste one moment of being nearer to Christ than I have ever been. Not one. For it is only through His Grace that I am in this place. Thank You.

Leaped for Joy

2009-01-27T15:46:00.007-05:00

John Piper does it again: The Baby in My Womb Leaped for Joy. Here is an excerpt:

"So I pray that this message will awaken and intensify your joyful, grateful reverence for the gift of human life from conception to eternity. The beginning of human life is a magnificent thing—it is the only newly originating life in the universe that is in the image of God. It is the only newly originating life in the universe that lasts forever. O what amazed and happy reverence we should feel for the beginning of every human life!"

Scripture:

Luke 1:39-45 (NIV)

Mary Visits Elizabeth

39At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea,
40where she entered Zechariah's home and greeted Elizabeth.
41When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.
42In a loud voice she exclaimed: "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear!
43But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
44As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy.
45Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"

Keep in mind, the pregancies of both Mary and Elizabeth were both seen as impossible. Just read the Piper post to learn more about that, and more; such as the author of this book (Luke) recognized these in utero babies as people.

...

I just can't comprehend calling abortion "women's health." It certainly is an attempt to "pretty up" abortion, make it sound compassionate. It's actually offensive to me; as a woman and as a Christian. What many call a mistake, God blesses with as a gift.

Quiet Time : Trust

2009-01-26T15:52:00.006-05:00

By God's amazing mercy, the three Psalms I read this morning reminded me about trusting Him.

Psalm 31 (KJV)

Psalm 31:6 (KVJ)

I have hated them that regard lying vanities: but I trust in the LORD.

Reminded me of...

Jonah 2:8 (KJV)

8They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy.

Back to trusting God...

Psalm 31:7 (KJV)

I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities;

and

Psalm 31:19-20 (KJV)

19Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!
20Thou shalt hide them in the secret of thy presence from the pride of man: thou shalt keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues.

Psalm 32 (KJV)

Psalm 32:5-6 (KJV)

5I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
6For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thou mayest be found: surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come nigh unto him.

Psalm 32:11 (KJV)

11Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, ye righteous: and shout for joy, all ye that are upright in heart.

Psalm 33 (KJV)

Psalm 33:15 (KJV)

15He fashioneth their hearts alike; he considereth all their works.

Psalm 33:18 (KJV)

18Behold, the eye of the LORD is upon them that fear him, upon them that hope in his mercy;

Psalm 33:21-22

21For our heart shall rejoice in him, because we have trusted in his holy name.
22Let thy mercy, O LORD, be upon us, according as we hope in thee.

The last two verses and 31:7 reminded me of this...

Psalm 90:14 (KJV)

O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

I pray that I will perservere in being faithful to reading God's Word, and that He will keep revealing Himself to me through it.

Prayer : and so it begins

2009-01-23T19:24:00.006-05:00

And so it begins...

Just today, Obama Reverses Abortion-Funding Policy.

God, I pray that You will soften our President's heart to the reality of abortion. That LIFE isn't something that we can just throw away. That it is YOU that opens the womb, for YOUR purpose and by YOUR will. That a child is a blessing from You, not just some mistake that can be wiped away. I pray that President Obama will see that lifting abortion bans is not the solution for reducing abortions, and that to recognize abortion as a solution to a problem is tantamount to murder. The only way to end abortion is for people to recognize Your Son as their Sovereign Saviour. For it is by Him that one can learn about You, and can appreciate Your creation. I pray that despite the sins of this world, Your Will be done. In Jesus' name, AMEN.

Ecclesiastes 11:5 (NIV)

5 As you do not know the path of the wind,

or how the body is formed* in a mother's womb,

so you cannot understand the work of God,

the Maker of all things.

*Footnote: Or know how life (or the spirit ) / enters the body being formed

Quiet Time : LIFE : Secret Signature

2009-01-22T17:16:00.009-05:00

Psalm 22:9-10 (KJV)

9But thou art he that took me out of the womb: thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother's breasts.
10I was cast upon thee from the womb: thou art my God from my mother's belly.

Of course brings to mind:

Psalm 139:13-15 (KJV)

13For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
14I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
15My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

My sister-in-law is pregnant with her third child, and when I pray for her, I marvel at the miracle that is taking place in her belly. No, not just a simple biological happenstance, but a miracle; a human being, being formed to be placed on this earth by God. A part of His ultimate plan. That is truly amazing.

Here is one of my most favorite quotes from C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain:

“Beyond all possibility of doubt you would say ‘Here at last is the thing I was made for.’ We cannot tell each other about it. It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made our friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. While we are, this is. If we lose this, we lose all.

This signature on each soul may be a product of heredity and environment, but that only means that heredity and environment are among the instruments whereby God creates a soul. I am considering not how, but why, He makes each soul unique. If He had no use for all these differences, I do not see why He should have created more souls than one. Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you. The mould in which a key is made would be strange thing, if you had never seen a key: and the key itself a strange thing if you had never seen a lock. Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the Divine substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house with many mansions. For it is not humanity in the abstract that is to be saved, but you- you, the individual reader, John Stubbs or Janet Smith. Blessed and fortunate creature, your eyes shall behold Him and not another's. All that you are, sins apart, is destined, if you will let God have His good way, to utter satisfaction. The Brocken spectre 'looked to every man like his first love', because she was a cheat. But God will look to every soul like its first love because He is its first love. Your place in heaven will seem to be made for you and you alone, because you were made for it- made for it stitch by stitch as a glove is made for a hand.” (emphasis mine)

Check the latest posts on theologica.blogspot.com. This is why this is such an urgent topic. Another good read is John Piper's post, Lincoln's Logic on Slavery Applied to Abortion where I found the above blog posts. And most importantly, PRAY.

Quiet Time : Continuing on in the Psalms

2009-01-16T16:36:00.006-05:00

So, I woke up earlier than normal (see yesterday's post) to make sure I had a quiet time. Yay!

Psalm 18:25 (KJV)

25With the merciful thou wilt shew thyself merciful; with an upright man thou wilt shew thyself upright;

As I read that verse this morning, it reminded me of the Sermon on the Mount, so I turned to Matthew 5:

Matthew 5:7 (KJV)

7Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

Also worth noting was the note in my study Bible about Psalm 18:26

26With the pure thou wilt shew thyself pure; and with the froward thou wilt shew thyself froward.

Footnote: "With the froward (perverse) God shows Himself froward (lit., twisted), i.e. He is at cross-purposes with those who are at cross-purposes with Him."

So I went on trusty dictionary.com, and found these definitions:

fro⋅ward /ˈfroʊwərd, ˈfroʊərd/ [froh-werd, froh-erd]
–adjective
willfully contrary; not easily managed: to be worried about one's froward, intractable child.

fro·ward (frō'wərd, -ərd)
adj. Stubbornly contrary and disobedient; obstinate.
fro'ward·ly adv., fro'ward·ness n.

froward
O.E. fromweard "turned from or away," from from + -weard. Opposite of toward, it renders L. pervertus in early translations of the Psalms, and also meant "about to depart, departing," and "doomed to die."

Froward
Fro"ward\, a. [Fro + -ward. See Fro, and cf. Fromward.] Not willing to yield or compIy with what is required or is reasonable; perverse; disobedient; peevish; as, a froward child.
A froward man soweth strife. --Prov. xvi. 28.
A froward retention of custom is as turbulent a thing as innovation. --Bacon.
Syn: Untoward; wayward; unyielding; ungovernable: refractory; obstinate; petulant; cross; peevish. See Perverse. -- Fro"ward*ly, adv. -- Fro"ward*ness, n.

+++++

Also a very cool thing happened this morning. Yesterday morning, I woke up with the words to Mighty to Save in my head. I even made part of the song my Facebook status yesterday, it stuck with me so much. Well, today, I heard the song on the radio while I was getting ready. Yes indeed, HE IS MIGHTY TO SAVE! :)

Oh yeah, and one more cool thing that happened this morning. C.H. Spurgeon's devotional was really awesome this morning; which is normal, but this morning he afforded me with a great reminder of how much I can trust God for help!

slug bug / love bug

2009-01-15T14:22:00.014-05:00

No, not this kind, but...

... more like this kind ...

I'm going for laziness, here people! Sloooooooow to act, and such.

Okay, so I had the thought last night about just how difficult it is for me to get up early. It all starts with my being a complete night owl, even though I know that is the result of a complete lack of discipline on my part (blogged about that last year, "Holding On To Today").

It's funny how the Holy Spirit can convict a person, and I'm so grateful for His patience! Because I know that my day would be better if I just woke up early. Quiet time, good breakfast, exercise; all could be done, and what a great way to start my day that would be. Alas, it is difficult for me. And yesterday, after browsing through Girl Talk, I came upon this post "The 5:00 Club", and this quote:

"Waking up late means your quiet time is probably the first to go."

D'oh! Yes, waking up late means that, and yes I do wake up late, but whose fault is that... MINE! Grrrrr!

But it's funny, because I'm reading The Enemy Within, by Kris Lundgaard, and came upon a few MORE gems the other night while discussing it:

"The flesh resists with its last breath anything that smacks of communion with God, because it suffocates in his presence....

The first claw aims at your weakness. When they were under attack and under great danger of temptation, just when they should have been praying, Jesus' disciples were fast asleep. "The spirit is willing, but the body is weak," he said (Matthew 26:41). The spiritual flesh takes advantage of the weakness of the natural flesh (the body). "You can't pray now, you need your rest. If you don't get some sleep, you won't be any use to God." This, in effect, is what Satan hit Jesus with when his body was weakened by forty days of fasting: "You've done enough fasting-you're being downright fanatical. Turn those stones to bread. If you don't eat, you'll die, and then how will you save the world!" (Matthew 4:1-3).

If you don't imbed it in your mind that prayer and meditation are indispensable, and seek God's grace every day to resist the sluggishness of your body, you will hit the snooze button all morning rather than kneel before the throne. And if you snooze, you lose." (emphasis mine)

Yes, please just call me a slug bug. I can be pretty good about waking up in time for a quiet time, but if I get off track just a little bit, then it all goes awry.

It all boils down to how I want to be, which first and foremost means how can my life glorify God. And allowing my lazy flesh to control my quiet times just will not cut it. So I'm praying and trying to be better about this. I'm so glad that God shows me these things, through Scripture, sermons, etc.

+++++++++++++++

Now on to the love bug...

Oh yeahhhhh... he he!

Complete nerd that I am, my Christmas list consisted mostly of all things C.S. Lewis. Either books by him or about him. One that I received was Jack's Life, by Douglas Gresham. Gresham is Lewis' stepson, and basically summed up The Four Loves for me (I posted some quotes from this book, "With This All Things Are Possible") ... well, at least Lewis' opinion about how the four loves all work together. I'd like to think that this is exactly how Lewis explained this to his stepson:

"Jack [Lewis] believed that one of the failings of the English language is the fact that we have only one word for love. The ancient Greeks used four. Agape was their word for the love of God, which flows through one person to another. This is also called "charity," and it should be the basis of any relationship between people. Then there is their word for the love of friendship, and that is philia. This is the sort of love that one has for a dear friend that makes you like to be with them and spend time doing things together. Third is what the Greeks called storge. Storge is the sort of love you feel for someone who has been a part of your life for a long time, and if they go away, you miss them far more than you ever thought you would. They leave a hole in your emotional life that no one else can fill. Fourth is the love that girls and boys start to be affected by when they grow-up; the Greeks called it eros, and it is also called "romance." Now in today's world people are always rabitting on about "falling in love," and all they mean is a romantic attraction. Romance doesn't last and soon passes away, and if that is all that two people have to base their relationship on, they are in trouble. Jack was determined that the right way to form a relationship was to start with agape, wait a while to see if philia develops, then wait some more to find out if storge is becoming a part of what is happening, and then finally to wait for eros to show up. If all of these things happened, Jack would have considered that he was "in love."

Of course, Lewis did find this love, with Gresham's mother. It's a very sweet and sad story. Two books that chronicle this are: A Grief Observed, by C.S. Lewis (which is on my reading list), and one of the books I'm reading now, which was a surprise Christmas present from my roommate Anne, A Severe Mercy, by Sheldon Vanauken.

So, when I say that I Kissed Dating Goodbye, I really mean it. Sayonara, thanks but no thanks. (what do ya say, I've blogged about that one, too, "Play on Playa/Why I Kissed Dating Goodbye"). I've had enough flattery in my short life to know it for what it truly is - superficial and temporal. My heart is ready, and is being ever readied for much much more.

Quiet Time : Reminder

2009-01-07T16:14:00.010-05:00

Psalm 17:8-13 (KJV)

8Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings,
9From the wicked that oppress me, from my deadly enemies, who compass me about.
10They are inclosed in their own fat: with their mouth they speak proudly.
11They have now compassed us in our steps: they have set their eyes bowing down to the earth; 12Like as a lion that is greedy of his prey, and as it were a young lion lurking in secret places.
13Arise, O LORD, disappoint him, cast him down: deliver my soul from the wicked, which is thy sword:

...kind of sounds like ...

II Chronicles 18:31 (KJV)

31 And it came to pass, when the captains of the chariots saw Jehoshaphat, that they said, It is the king of Israel. Therefore they compassed about him to fight: but Jehoshaphat cried out, and the LORD helped him; and God moved them to depart from him.

...which reminded me of this quiet time...

+++++

Also, today's new discovery! The Treasury of David, by C.H. Spurgeon, which contains Spurgeon's study on the Psalms.

In searching further in this sight, I came upon Spurgeon To Go, where you can install Spurgeon's devotionals, and they call it Daily Dose of Spurgeon! I swear, I didn't steal that line!!! :)

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I would like to share the Spurgeon sermon that I read today; Sermon for New Year's Day. Below is an excerpt:

"I want to say to such, if you have been all your lifetime in bondage, you need not remain there any longer; for there is in Jesus the power to make all things new, and to lift you into new delights. It will seem to be a dead lift to you; but it is within the power of that pierced hand to lift you right out of doubt, and fear, and despondency, and spiritual lethargy, and weakness, and just to make you now, from this day forward, "strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might."

Daily Dose of Spurgeon : "to live is Christ"

2009-01-07T11:26:00.003-05:00

December 7, Morning

Philippians 1:21
For me to live is Christ.

The believer did not always live to Christ. He began to do so when God the Holy Spirit convinced him of sin, and when by grace he was brought to see the dying Saviour making a propitiation for his guilt. From the moment of the new and celestial birth the man begins to live to Christ. Jesus is to believers the one pearl of great price, for whom we are willing to part with all that we have. He has so completely won our love, that it beats alone for Him; to His glory we would live, and in defence of His gospel we would die; He is the pattern of our life, and the model after which we would sculpture our character. Paul's words mean more than most men think; they imply that the aim and end of his life was Christ-nay, his life itself was Jesus. In the words of an ancient saint, he did eat, and drink, and sleep eternal life. Jesus was his very breath, the soul of his soul, the heart of his heart, the life of his life.

Can you say, as a professing Christian, that you live up to this idea? Can you honestly say that for you to live is Christ? Your business-are you doing it for Christ? Is it not done for self-aggrandizement and for family advantage? Do you ask, "Is that a mean reason?" For the Christian it is. He professes to live for Christ; how can he live for another object without committing a spiritual adultery? Many there are who carry out this principle in some measure; but who is there that dare say that he hath lived wholly for Christ as the apostle did? Yet,this alone is the true life of a Christian-its source, its sustenance, its fashion, its end, all gathered up in one word-Christ Jesus. Lord, accept me; I here present myself, praying to live only in Thee and to Thee. Let me be as the bullock which stands between the plough and the altar, to work or to be sacrificed; and let my motto be, "Ready for either."

C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishers, 1997.

He knew of every tear before it fell / no regrets

2008-12-31T14:02:00.012-05:00

A conversation last night got me to thinking about my past. About how things have happened to me that seemed so terrible at the time, but that I am grateful for them now, because of what I have learned.

I think it's too easy to wallow in a past or present situation. To be so mired in it, because the realization of hindsight is, well, impossible. Let me play devil's advocate for a second. Say it were really possible to go back in time and avoid certain mistakes or mishaps. Would that make the person you are today happier, or "better?" I don't think so. It would just make you different. Sorry to break it to you, but different doesn't equal better. And being that the past is a fixed, concrete thing, then there really isn't any use in thinking about how things "might have been." More like "might have been but never-even-in-an-alternate-universe can be."

To dwell on the past just doesn't make any sense. What does make sense is to see how God's hand was in those situations; in every minute detail. Seriously, just try it out. Even in the most dire of circumstances, I can see God's hand it every second; and I mean every-single-second. I think it's a great exercise, but really, I know that I prayed for it long before it was shown to me (and in one situation, reading the Bible revealed it to me!). I am so grateful to have the Gospel in my life.

As for me, I'm really beginning to like the person I am today. And if that took going through things that people couldn't imagine being grateful for, well then I just pray some day that God will reveal it to them too, in their own lives.

P.S. One cool thing to add here. Back in October I went for a jog, and realized that it was almost a year to the day that I had finished the marathon. I started to think of my friends who were running it again, and how proud I was of them. How absurd it seemed for me to have done it to almost everyone I know. How no one believed that I was actually training for a marathon; least of all myself! And then I remember thinking that God wasn't surprised that I was doing it at the time. God knew before I was born that I would finish a marathon on October 21, 2007. Then I realized that He knew that before time began! He knew every second of that 6.5 HOURS of my life! How at around mile 13 my feet would start to hurt, or that around 22 I would be in so much pain that I wouldn't believe that I could finish at all. He knew of every tear before it fell. Praise God! He is simply Amazing.

Addendum 01/22/2009: Check out John Piper's, The President, the Passengers, and the Patience of God.

Daily Dose of Spurgeon : Blessed Among Women

2008-12-17T12:19:00.004-05:00

(a little late posting this...)

December 15, Morning

Ruth 1:14
Orpah kissed her mother-in-law; but Ruth clave unto her.

Both of them had an affection for Naomi, and therefore set out with her upon her return to the land of Judah. But the hour of test came; Naomi most unselfishly set before each of them the trials which awaited them, and bade them if they cared for ease and comfort to return to their Moabitish friends. At first both of them declared that they would cast in their lot with the Lord's people; but upon still further consideration Orpah with much grief and a respectful kiss left her mother in law, and her people, and her God, and went back to her idolatrous friends, while Ruth with all her heart gave herself up to the God of her mother in law. It is one thing to love the ways of the Lord when all is fair, and quite another to cleave to them under all discouragements and difficulties. The kiss of outward profession is very cheap and easy, but the practical cleaving to the Lord, which must show itself in holy decision for truth and holiness, is not so small a matter.

How stands the case with us, is our heart fixed upon Jesus, is the sacrifice bound with cords to the horns of the altar? Have we counted the cost, and are we solemnly ready to suffer all worldly loss for the Master's sake? The after gain will be an abundant recompense, for Egypt's treasures are not to be compared with the glory to be revealed. Orpah is heard of no more; in glorious ease and idolatrous pleasure her life melts into the gloom of death; but Ruth lives in history and in heaven, for grace has placed her in the noble line whence sprung the King of kings. Blessed among women shall those be who for Christ's sake can renounce all; but forgotten and worse than forgotten shall those be who in the hour of temptation do violence to conscience and turn back unto the world. O that this morning we may not be content with the form of devotion, which may be no better than Orpah's kiss, but may the Holy Spirit work in us a cleaving of our whole heart to our Lord Jesus.

C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishers, 1997.

Quiet Time : God spoke, Job repented

2008-12-05T10:29:00.006-05:00

Job 39:13-17 (KJV)

13Gavest thou the goodly wings unto the peacocks? or wings and feathers unto the ostrich?
14Which leaveth her eggs in the earth, and warmeth them in dust,
15And forgetteth that the foot may crush them, or that the wild beast may break them.
16She is hardened against her young ones, as though they were not her's: her labour is in vain without fear;
17Because God hath deprived her of wisdom, neither hath he imparted to her understanding.

Ryrie Study Bible:
It appears to man that the ostrich is unconcerned about her young, leaving some of her eggs uncovered (though only by day when the heat of the sand helps incubate them) and unhatched (thereby serving as food for her young). Her seeming lack of wisdom is not apart from God's plan, just as behind the trials of the godly, which seem so unreasonable to Job, lies the wise purpose of God.

Job 40:6-14 (KJV)

6Then answered the LORD unto Job out of the whirlwind, and said,
7Gird up thy loins now like a man: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.
8Wilt thou also disannul my judgment? wilt thou condemn me, that thou mayest be righteous?
9Hast thou an arm like God? or canst thou thunder with a voice like him?
10Deck thyself now with majesty and excellency; and array thyself with glory and beauty.
11Cast abroad the rage of thy wrath: and behold every one that is proud, and abase him.
12Look on every one that is proud, and bring him low; and tread down the wicked in their place.
13Hide them in the dust together; and bind their faces in secret.
14Then will I also confess unto thee that thine own right hand can save thee.

Ryrie Study Bible:
When Job criticized God's ways, he was in effect trying to usurp God's position as governor of the world. In this paragraph full of irony, God asks if Job can really perform those things that only God can do.

Job 42:1-6 (KJV)

1Then Job answered the LORD, and said,
2I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee.
3Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.
4Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.
5I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.
6Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.

Ryrie Study Bible:
Job repents of his pride and rebellion and finds contentment in the knowledge that he has God's fellowship. This is the great lesson of the book: If we know God, we do not need to know why He allows us to experience what we do. He is not only in control of the universe and all its facets but also of our lives, and He loves us. Though His ways are sometimes beyond our comprehension, we should not criticize Him for His dealings with us or with others. God is always in control of all things, even when He appears not to be.

Click here for info on the Ryrie Study Bible on Amazon.

Quiet Time : Attitudes

2008-11-19T09:25:00.009-05:00

Job 19:25-27

25For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth:

26And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God:

27Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me.

The note in my Ryrie Study Bible said, "This great expression of hope marks the turning point in Job's attitude. He has seen his sufferings in the perspective of certain future vindication of his case. Reins = heart"

Job 21:14-15

14Therefore they say unto God, Depart from us; for we desire not the knowledge of thy ways.

15What is the Almighty, that we should serve him? and what profit should we have, if we pray unto him?

Unbelief.

Job 22:15-19

15Hast thou marked the old way which wicked men have trodden?

16Which were cut down out of time, whose foundation was overflown with a flood:

17Which said unto God, Depart from us: and what can the Almighty do for them?

18Yet he filled their houses with good things: but the counsel of the wicked is far from me.

19The righteous see it, and are glad: and the innocent laugh them to scorn.

Unbelief, again (note the reference to the flood).

Job 28:28

28And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the LORD, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.

Knowledge.

Quiet Time : Friend and Intercessor

2008-11-12T20:51:00.006-05:00

Job 16:19-21 (KJV)

19Also now, behold, my witness is in heaven, and my record is on high.

20My friends scorn me: but mine eye poureth out tears unto God.

21O that one might plead for a man with God, as a man pleadeth for his neighbour!

Job 16:19-21 (NIV)

19 Even now my witness is in heaven;
my advocate is on high.

20 My intercessor is my friend
as my eyes pour out tears to God;

21 on behalf of a man he pleads with God
as a man pleads for his friend.

If you are ever afraid...

2008-11-07T11:05:00.007-05:00

This is for anyone who is fearing for the future. If you have given your life to Christ, then you have nothing to fear! No financial crisis, war, poverty, illness, rampant immorality, unemployment, fill-in-the-blank with anything you can think of ... nothing.

November 7, Morning

Isaiah 49:16
Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands.

No doubt a part of the wonder which is concentrated in the word "Behold," is excited by the unbelieving lamentation of the preceding sentence. Zion said, "The Lord hath forsaken me, and my God hath forgotten me." How amazed the divine mind seems to be at this wicked unbelief! What can be more astounding than the unfounded doubts and fears of God's favoured people? The Lord's loving word of rebuke should make us blush; He cries, "How can I have forgotten thee, when I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands? How darest thou doubt my constant remembrance, when the memorial is set upon my very flesh?" O unbelief, how strange a marvel thou art! We know not which most to wonder at, the faithfulness of God or the unbelief of His people. He keeps His promise a thousand times, and yet the next trial makes us doubt Him. He never faileth; He is never a dry well; He is never as a setting sun, a passing meteor, or a melting vapour; and yet we are as continually vexed with anxieties, molested with suspicions, and distu rbed with fears, as if our God were the mirage of the desert. "Behold," is a word intended to excite admiration. Here, indeed, we have a theme for marvelling. Heaven and earth may well be astonished that rebels should obtain so great a nearness to the heart of infinite love as to be written upon the palms of His hands. "I have graven thee. "It does not say, "Thy name." The name is there, but that is not all: "I have graven thee." See the fulness of this! I have graven thy person, thine image, thy case, thy circumstances, thy sins, thy temptations, thy weaknesses, thy wants, thy works; I have graven thee, everything about thee, all that concerns thee; I have put thee altogether there. Wilt thou ever say again that thy God hath forsaken thee when He has graven thee upon His own palms?

C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishers, 1997.

follow up to 'election'

2008-11-01T17:18:00.005-04:00

Okay, so I just posted something that could undoubtably hurt some feelings. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe it's just in my nature to 'not hurt your feelings,' that I feel as though I need to write this follow up this. No, scratch that. That's not why I'm writing this.

I am basically providing links to some very good blogs, sermons, etc that people with much more knowledge than I have written. I guess they gave me the courage to post the previous entry that I wrote and so cowardly saved for later.

But I do want to make this point. If you are a woman who has had an abortion; I do not judge you. My heart aches for the pain that I know you must feel. Although I have never had to even consider having one myself, I know how it feels to carry the heavy burden of guilt. And I also know how it feels for that guilt to be lifted and redeemed. You too can be redeemed. That is my hope and prayer for you.

I want to preface the following links by saying that none of these people endorse a particular candidate. Thanks! ;)

"Don't Waste Your Vote," sermon by Robin Boisvert at Covenant Life. One great thing he said, "patriotism must be moderated by sound theology." If you are a Christian, your vote must be moderated by sound theology.

Carolyn McCulley made a great point in her latest blog post, in that we must not vote for our pocket book (among others). Also, that is where I found the above sermon.

And my favorite find of the month, John Piper's Let Christians Vote As Though They Were Not Voting. As a Christian, I must show the world that I am not concerned by what any leader of any country can do to me or cannot do for me. That is not where my ultimate hope lies.

thoughts on this crazy election

2008-11-01T16:55:00.005-04:00

Wrote this on Sunday, October 19, 2008, but didn't post it until now ... must be my fear of man.

I worry more about the murdering of innocent, unborn children than I do about wolves being shot from helicopters. I don't care who you vote for. I really don't care who wins. I have no doubt whatsoever that my job will be okay; regardless of the next President's party affiliation.

I'm just tired of the hate. I'm tired of hearing 'feminists' write about how Sarah Palin isn't a woman; that she doesn't care about women. So sorry that she cares more about unborn children than your right to kill them. Even more sad that women think that if this right is taken away from them, then it's just a matter of time before they will become second class citizens. 'We will be set back 70 years!' Oh boo hoo.

It's unbelievable to me that losing one's right to end LIFE; even those tiny little cells (conception, people), means the end for women everywhere. I gotta tell you, when I heard that Sarah Palin would probably be the VP pick, I didn't have any particular reaction. The main thing on my mind was paying attention to the news, because my boss is from Alaska, and of course would want to know right away. That is part of my job; paying attention to Alaska.However, when I saw John McCain announce her, and heard her accept, it was a pretty powerful moment for me. Wow, can you imagine, a conservative woman being nominated for Vice President of the United States? Since when is it okay to be pro-life and a woman? I'm serious, I got a little teary-eyed and even had goose bumps.

Fast forward to the hate. Absolute vitriol. It is amazing to me. People absolutely HATE her. She's not the first politician to be pro-life, pro-gun, yada yada yada; HELLO she's a REPUBLICAN! And yet, so much crap has been said about her. She's also not the first governor of a small state to make it on the national political scene. And yes, I did vote for one of those 12 years ago. Oh yeah, and as for her forcing rape victims to pay for their rape kits; do some research. Oh, and I guess it's obvious who I'm not voting for. Sarah Palin has nothing to do with my decision. I really can't vote for someone who is so incredibly liberal. And I'm not trying to tell you who to vote for. As long as you do your research, and vote on the issues that are important to you, than you will get my respect. And I guess it's obvious what issues are important to me. The stance of someone's heart outweighs everything else. It is just amazing to me that someone can value the lives of their own children, yet be so cold-hearted to the reality of abortion.

You won't find me boasting for any candidate; maybe beyond a campaign button or posting an article on facebook. On the flip side, you won't hear me tell you not to vote for 'so and so,' because of 'such and such.' The reason I wrote this is just to vent my frustration over the whole "if you don't agree with me, you must be wrong" assumption that runs rampant in this world. As a Christian woman, the area I feel this most is in the feminist movement. I guess a 'thanks but not thanks' sums up how I feel about feminists who are lauded in our time. Thankfully, there are women such as Carolyn Mahaney, who speaks truth about Biblical Femininity, and Carolyn McCulley, who speaks and writes about 'Radical Womanhood.' Also, men such as John Piper and Wayne Grudem, who wrote Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Femininism. And finally, that there are women like Sarah Palin who aren't afraid to tell how they truly feel about this issue, without fear of losing votes.

Quiet Time : For Such A Time As This?

2008-11-01T10:11:00.009-04:00

Sorry to all 3 of my readers for not posting anything lately. My migraines are back with a vengeance; and while I haven't totally neglected my time with the Word, it has taken a hit again. Still, no excuse, and I'm trying to get back on track. However, I did finish Esther awhile back, and I'm now on Job. I will quickly post some verses from Esther below. Such a great story, really, GO READ IT!

Esther 4:13-14

13 Then Mordecai commanded to answer Esther, Think not with thyself that thou shalt escape in the king's house, more than all the Jews.
14 For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverence arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

This was after Mordecai found out that Haman had the king sign off on the decree for the destruction of the Jews. Through a series of corrospondence, Mordecai asked Esther to intercede. Now, even as queen, she could not enter the king's court without his permission, to do so meant certain death, unless he held out his golden sceptre (and really, who knew if he would do that! It really depended on his mood, I guess. And remember, this is a man who had his first queen banished because she wouldn't let him show her off!). The above verses are Mordecai's reply to Esther's fear. I love how he says "who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Mordecai felt as though this could be God's calling for her. Have you ever thought about what God's calling could be for you?

Okay, now I am so tempted to post more, but really, you should go read it. It is truly an amazing story. Esther hesitates to tell the king, which opens up even more possibilities (God sovereignty), then that pesky law where no decree's can be overturned. Just goes to show what trusting in God can do.

Daily Dose of Spurgeon

2008-10-14T09:37:00.003-04:00

October 14, Morning

Philippians 3:8
I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord.

Spiritual knowledge of Christ will be a personal knowledge. I cannot know Jesus through another person's acquaintance with Him. No, I must know Him myself; I must know Him on my own account. It will be an intelligent knowledge-I must know Him, not as the visionary dreams of Him, but as the Word reveals Him. I must know His natures, divine and human. I must know His offices-His attributes-His works-His shame-His glory. I must meditate upon Him until I "comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge." It will be an affectionate knowledge of Him; indeed, if I know Him at all, I must love Him. An ounce of heart knowledge is worth a ton of head learning. Our knowledge of Him will be a satisfying knowledge. When I know my Saviour, my mind will be full to the brim-I shall feel that I have that which my spirit panted after. "This is that bread whereof if a man eat he shall never hunger." At the same time it will be an exciting knowledge; the more I know of my Beloved, the more I shall want to know. The higher I climb the loftier will be the summits which invite my eager footsteps. I shall want the more as I get the more. Like the miser's treasure, my gold will make me covet more. To conclude; this knowledge of Christ Jesus will be a most happy one; in fact, so elevating, that sometimes it will completely bear me up above all trials, and doubts, and sorrows; and it will, while I enjoy it, make me something more than "Man that is born of woman, who is of few days, and full of trouble"; for it will fling about me the immortality of the everliving Saviour, and gird me with the golden girdle of His eternal joy. Come, my soul, sit at Jesus's feet and learn of Him all this day.

C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishers, 1997.

serenity now!

2008-09-29T18:33:00.004-04:00

Just what I needed today: There is a Way to Be Happy, Even in Sadness, John Piper.

Quiet Time : Mordecai's Faithfulness

2008-09-25T11:09:00.004-04:00

Esther 3:4

Now it came to pass, when they spake daily unto him, and he hearkened not unto them, that they told Haman, to see whether Mordecai's matters would stand: for he had told them that he was a Jew.

Just a little context here. Esther has already been chosen as queen. King Ahasuerus has promoted Haman (mentioned in yesterdays post, in the comments, by Mark), and decreed that all should bow to him. According to my Study Bible; Mordecai refused to bow, because this would be acknowledging Haman as divine; and as Jew, he knew he wasn't to bow to anyone but God (he is avoiding idolatry).

So, in verse 4, we see Mordecai's faithfulness to God. He doesn't seem worried about his life or position in this instance. He is definitely fearing God above any man.

Now, on to:

Esther 3:6

And he thought scorn to lay hands on Mordecai alone; for they had shewed him the people of Mordecai: wherefore Haman sought to destroy all the Jews that were throughout the whole kingdom of Ahasuerus, even the people of Mordecai.

Haman is so angered by this, that he thinks ALL Jews should be killed. How insane is this! The saddest part is that he is able to talk the king into decreeing this. So, all Jews are to be killed on one day, which was chosen by lots (just shows you how superstitious Haman was ... and if you don't know how this story ends ... well, let's just say it didn't bring him much luck).

Keep in mind, the king has no idea that his wife, his queen, is Jewish.

So, obviously Mordecai wanted Esther to keep her heritage to herself, but when he was faced with it, he had no fear in proclaiming his true God. And as far as I know of the story, she is never asked.

Good stuff! :)

Quiet Time : Daily Dose of Spurgeon (2 in 1!)

2008-09-24T10:46:00.004-04:00

Yay! I'm up to Esther; such a great illustration of God's providence.

Esther 2:10

Esther had not shewed her people nor her kindred: for Mordecai had charged her that she should not shew it.

In my Ryrie Study Bible (KJV), it states that Mordecai may have had two reasons for telling Esther to not share her Jewish heritage.

1. He feared for her life.
2. He wanted to protect his position in the king's court.

This is what struck me: would this be considered fear of man? Just throwing that out there.

Although one could argue that having Esther hide the truth about herself was beneficial; because maybe she reveals it at the right time.

+++

Okay, check it out, your Daily Dose of Spurgeon; which I read this morning, and made me think, 'this is the total opposite of fear of man!'

Just an excerpt:

"Few run too far in neglecting the creature's arm; but very many sin greatly in making too much of it. Learn, dear reader, to glorify the Lord by leaving means untried, if by using them thou wouldst dishonour the name of the Lord."

+++

Now I get that in reading the book of Ezra, it is apparent that he understood God:

Ezra 7:6

This Ezra went up from Babylon; and he was a ready scribe in the law of Moses, which the LORD God of Israel had given: and the king granted him all his request, according to the hand of the LORD his God upon him.

And that we get no indication about the strength of Mordecai's faith (at least not yet, but maybe later in the book? It seems that what I've heard of this story; he is a faithful Jew, and wants to save his people). And yes, this is Old Testament, pre-Pentecost; a concept that I need to study up on more ...

Okay, I hope to have more on this later. Welcome to my brain! ;)

Daily Dose of Spurgeon

2008-09-19T14:36:00.003-04:00

September 19, Morning

Galatians 5:1
The liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free.

This "liberty" makes us free to heaven's charter-the Bible. Here is a choice passage, believer, "When thou passest through the rivers, I will be with thee." You are free to that. Here is another: "The mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee"; you are free to that. You are a welcome guest at the table of the promises. Scripture is a never-failing treasury filled with boundless stores of grace. It is the bank of heaven; you may draw from it as much as you please, without let or hindrance. Come in faith and you are welcome to all covenant blessings. There is not a promise in the Word which shall be withheld. In the depths of tribulations let this freedom comfort you; amidst waves of distress let it cheer you; when sorrows surround thee let it be thy solace. This is thy Father's love-token; thou art free to it at all times.

Thou art also free to the throne of grace. It is the believer's privilege to have access at all times to His heavenly Father. Whatever our desires, our difficulties, our wants, we are at liberty to spread all before Him. It matters not how much we may have sinned, we may ask and expect pardon. It signifies nothing how poor we are, we may plead His promise that He will provide all things needful. We have permission to approach His throne at all times-in midnight's darkest hour, or in noontide's most burning heat. Exercise thy right, O believer, and live up to thy privilege. Thou art free to all that is treasured up in Christ-wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption. It matters not what thy need is, for there is fulness of supply in Christ, and it is there for thee. O what a "freedom" is thine! freedom from condemnation, freedom to the promises, freedom to the throne of grace, and at last freedom to enter heaven!

C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishers, 1997.

my heart as of late

2008-09-16T16:01:00.016-04:00

God is quick to comfort; sometimes we just need a little patience. ;)

I received this from 'Of First Importance' today:

He loves you as you are

“There never was one who came to him with a broken heart, but he healed him. He never said to one, “You are too bad for me to heal;” but he did say, “Him that cometh to me, I will in no wise cast out.” My dear hearer, he will not cast you out. You say, “You do not know me, Mr. Spurgeon.” No, I do not; and you have come here to-night, and you hardly know why you are here; only you are very low and very sad.

The Lord Jesus Christ loves such as you are, you poor, desponding, doubting, desolate, disconsolate one. Daughters of sorrow, sons of grief, look ye here! Jesus Christ has gone on healing broken hearts for thousands of years, and he is well up in the business. He understands it by experience, as well as by education. He is “mighty to save.” Consider him; consider him; and the Lord grant you grace to come and trust him even now!”

- Charles Spurgeon, Christ’s Hospital

This led to a link to the full sermon, click here to read it in full. Below is an excerpt:

The church of God is never so well built up as when it is built up with men of broken hearts. I have prayed to God in secret many a time, of late, that he would be pleased to gather out from among us a people who have a deep experience, who should know the guilt of sin, who should be broken and ground to powder under a sense of their own inability and unworthiness; for I am persuaded that, without a deep experience of sin, there is seldom much belief in the doctrine of grace, and not much enthusiasm in praising the Saviour's name. The church needs to be built up with men who have been pulled down. Unless we know in our hearts our need of a Saviour, we shall never be worth much in preaching him. That preacher who has never been converted, what can he say about it? And he who has never been in the dungeon, who has never been in the abyss, who has never felt as if he were cast out from the sight of God, how can he comfort many who are outcasts, and who are bound with the fetters of despair? May the Lord break many hearts, and then bind them up, that with them he may build up the church, and inhabit it!

ALSO

I found commentary by Matthew Henry on the verses from my quiet time a few days ago. Click here to read.

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I have rejoiced in my 'brokeness' for a long time. However, God keeps revealing to me just what that means - and in doing so, continually shows me His character, how MORE and MORE I can trust Him, that His patience is never-ending.

God is so faithful when we read His Word - I am amazed every day! :)

Quiet Time : Pray for Strength

2008-09-16T15:28:00.002-04:00

Nehemiah 6:9

For they all made us afraid, saying, Their hands shall be weakened from the work, that it be not done. Now therefore, O God, strengthen my hands.

Quiet Time : The Body

2008-09-15T12:03:00.006-04:00

Nehemiah 4:19-21 (KJV)

19And I said unto the nobles, and to the rulers, and to the rest of the people, The work is great and large, and we are separated upon the wall, one far from another.

20In what place therefore ye hear the sound of the trumpet, resort ye thither unto us: our God shall fight for us.

21So we laboured in the work: and half of them held the spears from the rising of the morning till the stars appeared.

This reminded me of the work of the Church (as in the Body); that everyone has their purpose within the Body. That because we are a broken people, sometimes we might be separated (due to any number of reasons - I seriously blame Satan - seriously), but are fighting the same fight. Therefore we should work hard to ensure communication lines are open, and to fight our own misguided perceptions (I have found that mine can be attributed to FEAR OF MAN).

Daily Dose of Spurgeon

2008-09-04T21:18:00.003-04:00

September 3 - Evening

Psalm 11:5 - The Lord trieth the righteous.

All events are under the control of Providence; consequently all the trials of our outward life are traceable at once to the great First Cause. Out of the golden gate of God's ordinance the armies of trial march forth in array, clad in their iron armour, and armed with weapons of war. All providences are doors to trial. Even our mercies, like roses, have their thorns. Men may be drowned in seas of prosperity as well as in rivers of affliction. Our mountains are not too high, and our valleys are not too low for temptations: trials lurk on all roads. Everywhere, above and beneath, we are beset and surrounded with dangers. Yet no shower falls unpermitted from the threatening cloud; every drop has its order ere it hastens to the earth. The trials which come from God are sent to prove and strengthen our graces, and so at once to illustrate the power of divine grace, to test the genuineness of our virtues, and to add to their energy.

Our Lord in His infinite wisdom and superabundant love, sets so high a value upon His people's faith that He will not screen them from those trials by which faith is strengthened. You would never have possessed the precious faith which now supports you if the trial of your faith had not been like unto fire. You are a tree that never would have rooted so well if the wind had not rocked you to and fro, and made you take firm hold upon the precious truths of the covenant grace. Worldly ease is a great foe to faith; it loosens the joints of holy valour, and snaps the sinews of sacred courage. The balloon never rises until the cords are cut; affliction doth this sharp service for believing souls. While the wheat sleeps comfortably in the husk it is useless to man, it must be threshed out of its resting place before its value can be known. Thus it is well that Jehovah trieth the righteous, for it causeth them to grow rich towards God.

Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishing, 1997.

Psalm 116:15

2008-08-27T11:49:00.002-04:00

Rest in peace - dear old friend - you were such a great witness to me; starting from the church nursery and continuing on. I can only imagine what a wonderful homecoming you experienced just a few days ago - as you were finally united with your Heavenly Father. Although your passing has countless others in mourning; I can't help but tearfully rejoice in the great joy you are living in now and will be for eternity.

Psalm 116 (KJV)

1I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.

2Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.

3The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow.

4Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.

5Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.

6The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.

7Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee.

8For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.

9I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living.

10I believed, therefore have I spoken: I was greatly afflicted:

11I said in my haste, All men are liars.

12What shall I render unto the LORD for all his benefits toward me?

13I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the LORD.

14I will pay my vows unto the LORD now in the presence of all his people.

15Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.

16O LORD, truly I am thy servant; I am thy servant, and the son of thine handmaid: thou hast loosed my bonds.

17I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the LORD.

18I will pay my vows unto the LORD now in the presence of all his people.

19In the courts of the LORD's house, in the midst of thee, O Jerusalem. Praise ye the LORD.

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Going Home
by Sara Groves

I’ve been feeling kind of restless
I’ve been feeling out of placeI can hear a distant singing
A song that I can’t write
And it echoes of what I’m always trying to say

There’s a feeling I can’t capture
It’s always just a prayer away
I want to know the ending
Things hoped for but not seen
But I guess that’s the point of hoping anyway

Going home, I’ll meet you at the table
Going home, I’ll meet you in the air
And you are never too young to think about it
Oh, I cannot wait to be home

I’m confined by my senses
To really know what you are like
You are more than I can fathom
And more than I can guess
And more than I can see with you in sight

But I have felt you with my spirit
I have felt you fill this room
And this is just an invitation
Just a sample of the whole
And I cannot wait to be going home

Going home, I’ll meet you at the table
Going home, I’ll meet you in the air
And you are never too young to think about it
Oh, I cannot wait to be going, to be going home

Face to face, how can it be
Face to face, how can it be
Face to face, how can it be

Cause this is just an invitation
Just a sample of the whole
And I cannot wait to be going home

***As of 8/27/08, you can hear this song on my MySpace page***

Quiet Time : Grace to Escape from Bondage

2008-08-19T20:45:00.003-04:00

Ezra 9:8 (KJV)

And now for a little space grace hath been shewed from the LORD our God, to leave us a remnant to escape, and to give us a nail in his holy place, that our God may lighten our eyes, and give us a little reviving in our bondage.

Daily Dose of Spurgeon

2008-08-19T10:56:00.005-04:00

August 17, Evening

John 11:4
This sickness is not unto death.

From our Lord's words we learn that there is a limit to sickness. Here is an "unto" within which its ultimate end is restrained, and beyond which it cannot go. Lazarus might pass through death, but death was not to be the ultimatum of his sickness. In all sickness, the Lord saith to the waves of pain, "Hitherto shall ye go, but no further." His fixed purpose is not the destruction, but the instruction of His people. Wisdom hangs up the thermometer at the furnace mouth, and regulates the heat.

1. The limit is encouragingly comprehensive. The God of providence has limited the time, manner, intensity, repetition, and effects of all our sicknesses; each throb is decreed, each sleepless hour predestinated, each relapse ordained, each depression of spirit foreknown, and each sanctifying result eternally purposed. Nothing great or small escapes the ordaining hand of Him who numbers the hairs of our head.

2. This limit is wisely adjusted to our strength, to the end designed, and to the grace apportioned. Affliction comes not at haphazard-the weight of every stroke of the rod is accurately measured. He who made no mistakes in balancing the clouds and meting out the heavens, commits no errors in measuring out the ingredients which compose the medicine of souls. We cannot suffer too much nor be relieved too late.

3. The limit is tenderly appointed. The knife of the heavenly Surgeon never cuts deeper than is absolutely necessary. "He doth not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men." A mother's heart cries, "Spare my child"; but no mother is more compassionate than our gracious God. When we consider how hard-mouthed we are, it is a wonder that we are not driven with a sharper bit. The thought is full of consolation, that He who has fixed the bounds of our habitation, has also fixed the bounds of our tribulation.

Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishers, 1997

gumby-like : entrusted with a heart

2008-08-18T22:40:00.005-04:00

Just call me Stretchy McStretcherson. Yes, I'm a dork, but I own it.

Anyway, I had a great conversation with my dear friend Abbie last week. Actually it was more of a counseling session. I needed advice about something that, to tell you the truth, I'm still not sure how to handle. She was very encouraging, as she always is, and told me this: 'God is stretching you.'

Yes indeed, God is stretching me; and I mean yowza-stretching me. Not to go into to much detail, but this situation has definitely taken me out of myself. I really have to consider someone else's feelings in such a way --- I don't know --- I am absolutely dumbfounded at the level/many-levels that engulf this situation. And it has nothing to do with me! Although I will say, it is affecting me. I've been praying about that big time.

Another thing Abbie said, which was extra sweet, is that 'God entrusts you with so many people's hearts.' Now, I feel as though He entrusts EVERYONE with EVERYBODY'S hearts, but that statement helped me realize the magnitude of this thing He's entrusted me with. And how I should look at situations with everyone that I know or come in contact with. Entrusted with a heart. Have you ever thought of it that way? Thought of life that way, I mean? That is a beautiful thing.

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Quiet Time.

Almost a month to this day I wrote about my quiet times. In that post, I stated that I will be posting about those more often. Well, in case you haven't noticed, that was the first and only post of that type. I feel as though I have to confess it here on the world-wide-web: my quiet times have taken a hit. Big time. And I could blame it on my moving to a new place, and having been just plain exhausted. But there is no excuse. I have been convicted of my need to read the Word every day, and that just hasn't been happening as regularly as it should be.

So I apologize for that, and will be getting back on track, ASAP!

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Devotionals:
Being a Chooser ~ Philippians 3:20-21 ~ Making Wise Choices

beautifully broken

2008-08-13T11:53:00.004-04:00

Have you ever felt absolutely broken? I'm not talking about 'heartbroken' in the teeny-bopper sense; but broken.

I often wonder about this with other Christians, because let me tell you, I've felt as though I've been put through the ringer. As my hometown pastor Paul would say; 'taken to the woodshed.' And maybe it's all because of the life I've led; which to be honest has been full of out-of-control confusion.

Let me explain ...

This is all stemming from something I've noticed in some Christians that has taken me aback. What I've taken as a lack of empathy (and I realize this is just my perception of things - I could be totally wrong)... It seems as though there are just certain situations that can't be comprehended, so they are just swept under the rug. 'Well, I just have no idea what that's like, can we go on to something else, please?' And I just want to scream, 'This is reality! Maybe not to you, but to a lot of people; this is life or death - spiritually speaking - therefore it is a deadly serious matter.'

Be kind: for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle

I just wish there was more 'stepping out of the bubble,' I guess. I mean, I get it, some things are just uncomfortable; I squirm, too. I hear it all over the news; I've been tempted to take cnn.com off of my home screen because of all the horrible things in the news every day. *** (warning; these links are upsetting, but aren't near the worst I could have posted) *** Kidnapping, rape, murder, torture, modern day slavery, stories of children being led into prostitution. It all makes me sick to my stomach. But I don't want to ignore it. I don't want to chalk it up to, 'well, I just couldn't imagine that' or 'that doesn't affect me.' Because it does affect me. And I can't understand how it wouldn't affect others.

And I totally get it; I do have a different perspective from other folks. I really do. And that makes it easier for me to feel more empathetic than uncomfortable. God has blessed me with this gift. It makes me want to delve into the lies that people believe when coming out of a situation of victimization. I'm not excusing the resulting sin; but I want to understand it.

And I want to help. I've posted before about how I want to help, but I still feel at a loss for how to make it happen. I've bought t-shirts, so what, right? Well, here's one thing I'm being more and more convicted to do:

Be more welcoming to new people at my church. Because I can tell you right now, when I first stepped foot in my new church, I was unbelievably broken. Happily broken, but broken still. And it was a struggle to meet people. I know I'm not alone in this; and I truly believe God has shown me this for a reason. So maybe this is my start. I need your prayers in this, because I'm not a naturally outgoing person. But I will be more intentional. And I'm not the only one, I do have friends at my church who feel the same conviction, so please pray for them, too.

I just don't want to leave anyone behind.

Devotionals: Set an Example ~ The Sacrificial Kingdom ~ Pray, then Decide

(below was written back in May; my original 'beautifully broken' post that was never finished or published)

Shallow vs. deep truth; love the 'ugly.'

*************

Thoughts on obvious, public sin and willful sin.

Like the boy who called wolf - when they really need help, will you be there for them?

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If you depend on someone like you're supposed to depend on God... you will drive that person crazy!!! Yes, I have been driven crazy a lot lately...

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"This signature on each soul may be a product of heredity and environment, but that only means that heredity and environment are among the instruments whereby God creates a soul. I am considering not how, but why, He makes each soul unique. If He had no use for all these differences, I do not see why He should have created more souls than one. Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you. The mould in which a key is made would be strange thing, if you had never seen a key: and the key itself a strange thing if you had never seen a lock. Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the Divine substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house with many mansions. For it is not humanity in the abstract that is to be saved, but you- you, the individual reader, John Stubbs or Janet Smith...... Your place in heaven will seem to be made for you and you alone, because you were made for it- made for it stitch by stitch as a glove is made for a hand." C.S. Lewis - The Problem of Pain.

"I wish to begin again on a daily basis"

2008-08-11T22:46:00.013-04:00

I don't want to ever consider myself a 'mature' Christian.

I don't ever want to think that I've learned all there is to know.

I want be continually challenged by You.

Please help me to remain child-like in my faith; in my belief.

I want to be a sponge that is never fully saturated.

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I once found the transcript to Bono's speech given at the National Prayer Breakfast in 2006. I found it quite by accident; but it intrigued me.

Anyway, I saw something I never would have expected out of such a hugely talented and famous rock star - yeah, and I already knew how much he's done for HIV/AIDS in Africa - and about the religious themes in his music (we even deconstructed the lyrics to 'With or Without You' in 8th grade English) - I saw a desire to know God.

So I've spent some time looking up quotes (yes, one of my favorite hobbies, so what?), and felt like pasting them below. I don't know, just a different perspective on Christianity than I am used to; I like to see other people's p.o.v.'s:

................................................................

"If I could put it simply, I would say that I believe there's a force of love and logic in the world, a force of love and logic behind the universe. And I believe in the poetic genius of a creator who would choose to express such unfathomable power as a child born in "straw poverty"; i.e., the story of Christ makes sense to me. ... As an artist, I see the poetry of it. It's so brilliant. That this scale of creation, and the unfathomable universe, should describe itself in such vulnerability, as a child. That is mind-blowing to me. I guess that would make me a Christian. Although I don't use the label, because it is so very hard to live up to. I feel like I'm the worst example of it, so I just kinda keep my mouth shut."

"...this of course is at the heart of the idea of redemption: to begin again. This is at the heart of religious fundamentalism too: to be born again. I wish to begin again on a daily basis. To be born again every day is something that I try to do. And I'm deadly serious about that."

"But with Christ, we have access in a one-to-one relationship, for, as in the Old Testament, it was more one of worship and awe, a vertical relationship. The New Testament, on the other hand, we look across at a Jesus who looks familiar, horizontal. The combination is what makes the Cross."

"It's a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the Universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma. You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics - in physical laws - every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the Universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that 'As you reap, so will you sow' stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff"

"I'd be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge. I'd be in deep _____. It doesn't excuse my mistakes, but I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity."

I love the bit when Christ's asked for his greatest hits and he says, "OK, love God, and love your neighbours as yourself." Christianity is not complicated, that's what it is.

So now — cut to 1980. Irish rock group, who've been through the fire of a certain kind of revival, a Christian-type revival, go to America. Turn on the TV the night you arrive, and there's all these people talking from the Scriptures. But they're quite obviously raving lunatics. Suddenly you go, what's this? And you change the channel. There's another one. You change the channel, and there's another secondhand-car salesman. You think, oh, my God. But their words sound so similar . . . to the words out of our mouths. So what happens? You learn to shut up. You say, whoa, what's this going on? You go oddly still and quiet. If you talk like this around here, people will think you're one of those. And you realize that these are the traders — as in t-r-a-d-e-r-s — in the temple.

One SOURCE - the other was Wikiquote.

Love like He does : without thought for gain

2008-08-08T15:50:00.016-04:00

Totally.selfless.Love.

Can you imagine it? Can you picture yourself capable of it? I guess in the end, as fallen beings, we aren't able to achieve this type of love. However, I believe were are to strive for it. Let me try to explain:

Sometimes I have a hard time seeing myself married. I had a near breakdown when I was planning on moving. Lots of circumstances contributed to this, but one thing that made it so hard was this: I'm tired of doing everything alone. And the end I wasn't alone. But it sure felt like I was for a while there, until I reached out for help. But during my emotional-mess, I had the fleeting thought 'if only I had a husband to take care of these piddly details ... do I even need a furniture dolly???'

And it's funny, because when you're younger, you just can't wait to be on your own. To have my own apartment! That always sounded so cool. I remember my Aunt Melanie having an apartment in Little Rock, and was always so excited when I got to spend the night with her.

Fast forward to the present, where I live in a city that I couldn't even begin to afford to live on my own. Funny thing is, I don't really want to anymore. I like having the 'community' of living with other people. I can honestly see myself living where I do now until I get married (a-hem, that all depends on how long I will have to wait on that, I guess, but that is how I see it ... short-term).

But there are times when I just can't see it. Being married to someone. Sharing my LIFE with them. Now don't get me wrong, it's something I'm extremely excited about ... but I just can't see it. Which when you get right down to it, is probably a good thing ... I have no real expectations for what it will be like. In this area, at least for me, the possibilities are endless ...

Marriage and Love. Obviously they go hand in hand. But I don't want to be a selfish with love. I don't want to demand, expect, etc... from someone. I don't want to think of marriage as any gain other than as a blessing bestowed upon me. But I can't help but relax in the knowledge that one day I will, Lord willing, have someone in my life who can help me in things both important and mundane, plus all the in between.

How does one reconcile this? Just another mystery of the heart? Steps toward sanctification? Am I overthinking this? At least I can answer the latter - ABSOLUTELY. Gosh, sometimes I annoy myself.

Anywho, I had a thought pop into my mind last night. I've been dwelling a lot Love. Love for others, offering Love to everyone; especially those whose actions are beyond my comprehension. How does one go about this without somehow seeking something in return? Be it: help, acknowledgement, respect, expected return of feelings of various types under various circumstances?

Then it hit me: Love like He does: without thought for gain. Guess that's all I need to do, hopefully the rest will work itself out.

GROWING PAINS
Even the most painful of contortions can result in true beauty.
Kinda like yoga.

Everything like you and me.
Learn it from Him.

*****

Deep thoughts to ponder: John Piper - Thoughts on Why Everything Exists.

Daily Dose of Spurgeon

2008-07-31T16:38:00.002-04:00

Morning and Evening: July 30 PM

John 6:37 - Him that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out.

No limit is set to the duration of this promise. It does not merely say, "I will not cast out a sinner at his first coming," but, "I will in no wise cast out." The original reads, "I will not, not cast out," or "I will never, never cast out." The text means, that Christ will not at first reject a believer; and that as He will not do it at first, so He will not to the last. But suppose the believer sins after coming? "If any man sin we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous." But suppose that believers backslide? "I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely: for Mine anger is turned away from him." But believers may fall under temptation! "God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." But the believer may fall into sin as David did! Yes, but He will "Purge them with hyssop, and they shall be clean; He will wash them and they shall be whiter than snow"; "From all their iniquities will I cleanse them."

"Once in Christ, in Christ for ever, Nothing from His love can sever."

"I give unto My sheep," saith He, "eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of My hand." What sayest thou to this, O trembling feeble mind? Is not this a precious mercy, that coming to Christ, thou dost not come to One who will treat thee well for a little while, and then send thee about thy business, but He will receive thee and make thee His bride, and thou shalt be His for ever? Receive no longer the spirit of bondage again to fear, but the spirit of adoption whereby thou shalt cry, Abba, Father! Oh! the grace of these words: "I will in no wise cast out."

C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, Hendrickson Publishers, 1997

my life feels like one continual line of neutrality

2008-07-18T13:34:00.006-04:00

(almost midnight last night; yes, after I wrote the previous post on Trust)

I'm sorry to doubt. I'm sorry to worry. I'm sorry to expect. I'm sorry.

It just gets so old; feeling invisible like this. Just for once I would like to be proven wrong.

I'm tired of being taken for granted. I'm tired of not feeling good enough. I'm tired of being forgettable. I'm tired.

I hate that I get down like this, but I can't see living life - every-single-second - like nothing is ever wrong. That I don't hope. That I don't have any unfulfilled desires. Because I do.

And I feel as though nothing will ever change. My life feels like one continual line of neutrality.

Although I do have something new coming up. I'm moving. In with Christians who are following Jesus, who are walking in the Light, who are living for the Lord. God has blessed me with this opportunity - and really opened my eyes to my need for this.

Baby steps, baby steps, I need to learn more about patience.

*Yep, that lasted about two hours...*

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So, this morning, I read Spurgeon, and it kinda addressed why I was so down last night, Numbers 2:31 - "They shall go hindmost with their standards. But I know the real problem with my "Debbie Downer" moment; I was frustrated with my circumstances. I felt as though there was no way I could get out of them; that I was stuck. And of course, God quickly and gently reminded me that He has provided the way, but I will have to be patient for just a little while longer.

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Also, I just read a devotional, Ephesians 6:18 - I Hate to Burden You, which brought to mind something I wanted to write about a few months ago, but never really went anywhere with. This simple fact: if you are friends with a Christian - even just a co-worker - they more than likely pray for you. Pretty powerful, don't you think? The author has another great post about this, The Power of a Praying Friend.

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Finally, I want to throw a quote in here. It's by Tony Snow, Cancer's Unexpected Blessings:

"God relishes surprise. We want lives of simple, predictable ease—smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see—but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He places us in predicaments that seem to defy our endurance and comprehension—and yet don't. By his love and grace, we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise."

when my imagination runs wild with possibility

2008-07-18T12:09:00.013-04:00

Trust.

Easier said than done, the whole TRUST thing. Now let's go a bit further. Trusting GOD. How would you characterize your trust in God. Seriously, ask yourself this. Do you trust that He exists? Do you trust that He provides? Do you trust in His SOVEREIGNTY? Now, I'm well aware that there may be people who read this who are asking themselves - "She wants me to trust in someone/thing/entity that I can't see, I can't just call up? She must be crazy." Well, I may be crazy, but that is a whole other topic. What I want to write about is trusting God.

I can look back on my life and pinpoint specific instances where I haven't trust God. And I mean SPECIFIC. Word-for-word phrases that have gone through my mind or out of my mouth. I can even take myself back to the 'scene of the crime' in some instances. For example, I can remember sitting poolside, in the Arkansas heat and humidity, having a thought that quite literally changed my life - and not for the better. I'm not going to rehash all of that - it's beside the point. You see, the point is --- I wasn't trusting God.

Anyway, my pastor just finished a series on Job. All 3 of my avid readers ;) will be aware of this, because I've been posting links to the sermons. Well, I understand if you don't have time to listen to each hour long sermon, so I will tell you one of the main things I've taken from it. Job didn't trust God. That was Job's sin. He didn't trust God - he misunderstood Him.

Job, you may ask, of all people? Well, who can blame him, after what he went through? Easy answer here, God can. God, his creator, who made him in His image - yes, He can be angry at Job's mistrust. And guess what? When we, you and I, can't trust in God, it makes Him mad - and rightly so. As fallen beings, we are quick to forget His blessings and focus on our sufferings; which in the end are just as temporal as anything else in this world.

I'm not going to go on much more about Job, I would rather leave it to the professionals. Check out these sermons when you have time, I promise you it will be worth it. Job's Trials, Job's Questions, Job's Friends, and Job's God. Also, I listened to a sermon yesterday, The Surprise - The Message of Ruth, another great sermon on trusting God's plans for you.

So, I've been hyper-aware lately. I have been paying attention to the struggle that other people go through. In believers and non-believers. In drug addicts and alcoholics and the painfully shy and just plain sad people (sometimes temporary, sometimes seemingly permanent), even in television show characters! And the effect of those struggles - sin. Now don't worry, I see it in myself, too. Everyone is affected; this is not mutually exclusive to one's faith (or lack thereof). Mistrust in God leads to struggle. And if you really want to break free of those chains, you must turn to Him.

Now, how am I putting this into action? Goooood question. I had a thought yesterday on the way home from work. When my imagination runs wild with possibility, and I suddenly dismiss it as never-going-to-happen-for-me, as I'm wont to do - I have to remind myself - with God all things are possible. Now does this give me free reign to fantasize about a dream life? It most certainly does not. But I have to be able to trust that God can give me a better life than I could ever dream of (which is an effective way to stop silly daydreaming). He gives me glimpses of it every once in awhile - which I think is His way of telling me 'all in good time.'

(thought of one my way home from work yesterday, written when I got home)

Quiet Time : Thank You

2008-07-18T09:41:00.006-04:00

I have taken on the task of reading my Bible straight through, from beginning to end. I'm up to II Chronicles right now. I feel as though God wants me to do it in this way. And I know that people suggest reading it differently; but you see, I can't. I've tried. My dear friend Brooke suggested I read I Corinthians and when I tried ... it's almost like I'm being prodded - nope, back to the OT for you!

So I've decided to start sharing verses that jump out at me. Sometimes I will give an explanation, other times I will simply type in the verse. I plan on linking to the chapter that contains the verse, so that those who feel moved to can go read it in context.

Here we go...

II Chronicles 18:31

"... Therefore they compassed about him to fight: but Jehoshaphat cried out, and the Lord helped him; and God moved them to depart from him." (emphasis mine)

Thank You.

and you think You have problems (part 4 - final sermon)

2008-07-14T14:29:00.005-04:00

Here is the fourth and final sermon in the series of Job from my church: Job's God - Job 38-42. Pastor Mark did a great job.

Also, here is an article written by Tony Snow, Cancer's Unexpected Blessings. In case you don't know who he is, Mr. Snow was a Fox News commentator, and was Press Secretary for President Bush. He passed away last Saturday of colon cancer. Mark quotes from this article in the sermon. I was fortunate to have met him twice - he spoke at a fundraiser put on by my boss, and I met him during a West Wing tour in his office. He was a great Christian man, and will be missed by many.

Oh yeah, and here are some notes I took during the sermon. I really hope you take the time to listen to the sermon from the link above.

*God displays Job's powerlessness.

*God mocked Job for "educational purposes," revealing something of His mystery and of His mercy.

*God is under obligation to no one - His goodness is His mercy.

*God speaks to Job BEFORE Job has repented of his sin. God took iniative while he was being opposed/slandered.

*We deserve wrath, He gives us love.

*Job's friends accused him of sin, but when he repents he is not confessing any sin imagined by them. He confessed the sin of misunderstanding God.

*"Closer knowledge of God brings us to fear God more and trust God more."

*Continual repentence marks the Christian life. We learn to mistrust our own self-protection.

*Job's friend's ONLY explanation for suffering was sin. A restricted notion of God. Thinking this way inhibits belief in the Gospel - Jesus was the only one, true innocent sufferer. Job is a great example of innocent suffering.

*Job based his trust not on why but on who. Not on specific events, but on God.

Mark goes on to preach about Job's restoration and has a GREAT conclusion. If you haven't been listening to the sermons I've been posting, I highly recommend you listen to this one! :)

yet another follow up - Who am I?

2008-07-11T13:28:00.002-04:00

Here comes another one: BANG! ZOOM!

Everyday Disciples, Mark 4:35-41

Check out the last paragraph, "Who am I Lord, to be chosen for this task?" Now, I'm not saying that I've been chosen for any particular task, but it helps to think of the writer's answer to this question when faced with what I am to do for others.